The emotional rollercoaster was in full swing throughout the day, for both of us. I slept better last night than I’ve slept in months and I thought Owen did as well, but it seems like exhaustion carried him through his day. Yawning and emotions were prevalent at every turn. There were so many great moments, but sadness washed over me still. He sang many songs, played his instruments, and even danced a little watching his feet and hands move at their pace. But this isolation has been so hard for both of us. Especially him. Every phone call I get he comes running to me, putting his ear up against my head so he can hear. He screams if he hears someone he knows, walks away if he doesn’t recognize the person, and cries out if he hears the word “school”. Potty training was rough today. And he comes to me with his tablet throughout the day asking me to find “need to go potty”. This at first made me extremely happy that he was trying to watch some of the videos we’ve watched before about potty training until I realized he is wanting to watch videos about people putting things in toilets to see what they do. Why people, why record things going in toilets. Every few moments he was running to the bathroom. Luckily for me, he was not taking anything to the toilet and he’s not really interested in flushing my toilet, yet. I can’t get upset with him about the video either or tell him not to watch them because he then will watch them more. I learned this the hard way and now he says word for word the video he’s not supposed to watch after only watching it a couple of times. I suppose on that one I have two things going for me. He doesn’t understand the words that they were saying and add in his accent and still learning to pronounce some of the letters I’m then probably the only one that will know. Blocking, that has my head spinning because as soon as I think I have something blocked he either finds a way around it or pulls it up on another device or the tv that’s smarter than me. Momma got up her game. Some days I think about taking the tablet away, he doesn’t need all the stimulation, but then I look at all the incredible things he has learned from using it and I can’t imagine him not having it. He was playing his drum today and he sang a quick version of Old MacDonald. As soon as he was done he said, “good job now farmer and de dell you can do it”. His words of encouragement to himself remind me that we should all do that. I encourage him all the time, but I’m hard on myself. Learning to let go is easier said than done. Dream today of the tomorrow you want and don’t settle for less. You deserve it. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.