There were many victories packed into a very long and exhausting day. Owen woke in the middle of the night, coming to me before I had barely fallen asleep myself. I didn’t sleep much after that but he slept great and late it seemed once he was with me. He was off to school and I love his excitement when he sees the bus. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that there are only three more days of summer school. It’s so hard for me to think about. The routine will be gone. He already talks about August and seeing his regular teacher again. How do I explain July to him even though we talk about it every day. We went to his therapy when he got home from school. I talked to him and talked to him and talked to him some more about being calm in the car. I reminded him about breathing and how we had to work together to think about other things. I changed his cocoon a little that I made for him to keep him more tucked away in his carseat but draping the fabric differently. I dreaded the thought of walking out our door but I knew we had to go. I told him that he really needed to concentrate on where we were going. He asked to go to several of the places that cause him to scream and I told him no we couldn’t do that. I explained to him that he had to be calm for me. I told him that tomorrow we were meeting our friends for bowling and that if going anywhere upset him we wouldn’t be able to go bowling with our friends. With my nerves shaking we walked out our door. I talked a lot in the car. I reminded him to breathe, to count, to exhale, to concentrate, to look at his tablet, and to imagine all the fun we would have tomorrow, not to mention the fact that he loves going to therapy. I kept talking. We made it there without screams. Hallelujah, complete and udder hallelujah. We had his session which he was thrilled about and then it was time to come home. He asked for “chicken nuggets french fries new ice tea chocolate milk and no coffee today”. I told him that we could go through the drive-thru but he couldn’t scream. He gets really upset when they don’t close the window completely when we pay or get our food. Success once again. We still had the trek home and my heart was still racing. The closer we got to our house the more anxious I got. I reminded him about tomorrow, I reminded him we couldn’t scream, and that we needed to focus on eating his dinner. I went the long way. I kept driving around. He was telling me to go different ways but I ignored him focusing on the blocks we had to go. I turned and I waited for it. He let out a noise but before the full scream happened I reminded him about seeing his friend tomorrow. He asked if he could go eat with him. I told him we would see if they could. We had one more turn. The small scream came out. I said, “breathe” probably a little louder than I wanted to and not sure which one of us it was directed at but we made it home without a meltdown. Victory, we did it. Yipeedoodlecakes. A day without a meltdown in the car is exactly what this momma needed. He sang for me tonight in numerous languages. I celebrate today. His songs warm my heart and his smile is the key to my soul. Find your joy, know that you are not alone, and tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.