Now That’s A Monday

I want to say the supplements are working for Owen, but he also seems to be waking a lot earlier and then getting into bed with me. Most nights he does fall right back asleep, with or without his blanket. The last few weeks have been beyond stressful. I’ve been trying to go with the flow, but I am not really good at going with the flow, even though I tell myself I’ve got this it seems like I’m a puddle of mud in the middle of the floor most days. I try to keep calm, but that seems to be a chore within itself. I’m amazed at the words Owen continues to put together and how he is expressing himself. I was standing in the kitchen, pouring some coffee. Owen came to me, standing patiently beside me, something that generally doesn’t happen. He waited until I was done and then handed me his tablet. I could see he wanted me to log into one of the apps they had used at school, but I wanted him to ask for it. I started the response, by pointing to my mouth, and saying, “I”. Thinking he would say, “I want help pwease”. Instead, he said, “I want TeachTown pwease”. He’s asked for many specific things, but sometimes it still catches me off guard when he tells me exactly what he wants. I longed for these days. I remember practically begging him to speak to me, knowing that wasn’t how it worked, but hoping he would do it anyways. I explained to him that he needs to look for other ways in his brain to talk to me, that he was a miracle, and he could do it. I kept telling him I believed in him. Those days were so emotional, these days are too. He’s come along way and I tell myself I have too. I’m thankful for his words and his gift of knowing how to make me smile. How do you explain a loneliness in your soul, even when your child was sitting right next to you. It took a long time for Owen to truly interact with me, not even wanting to look me in the eye, and here he is now saying “I wuv ewe” exactly when I need it. Never give up hope. Believe in yourself and the rest will follow. Today is but one moment in time. Keep looking for those rays of sunshine even when the skies are grey. Smiles to all and donut daze!