There’s a difference between knowing something is behavioral and being able to change the behavior. Sometimes I don’t try to fix a behavior because I know that it will start an avalanche of other behaviors. The screaming stops me in my place so many times as well. I know what comes next after the screaming. The older Owen gets I can see the changes happening quickly for him. He didn’t want to eat dinner with me, maybe because he wasn’t hungry at the time, or maybe because he needed to process what he was doing. I made BBQ sandwiches. A few weeks ago he loved them. Tonight it was met with “do you like it yum yum” as he rubbed it all over his face and ran off screaming, which meant he didn’t like it. I sat there wanting to make him come back and eat more, I also sat wanting to cry and turn into a puddle of mud on the floor. Right about then, he came to me putting his forehead on my lips, knowing I was emotional about all the screaming, needing the comfort from him in my own uncomfortable state. He processes my emotions almost as quickly as his own, needing me to be happy all the time because he can handle that emotion. I left part of the BBQ sandwich on his plate that he didn’t want to eat earlier. About an hour later he finally came to eat. What was yucky earlier was now devoured, wanting more. He then needed more milk. He went to the refrigerator, got the milk out, brought it to the table, took the cap off, almost poured it into the cup without spilling but the container was too heavy so I assisted him, and then he started eating the cap. I took the cap from him and helped him put it on the milk and he ran the milk back to the refrigerator. While putting the milk up he knocked the cheese to the floor, he picked it up screaming and slamming the cheese in the door after throwing it into the refrigerator but he knew it needed to go in there. So much progress in all of that. We’ve been working on the steps for him to get his own snacks. We celebrate all the steps because it was all part of the progress in the process. These small steps lead to the hugest of huge victories. The struggle for sleep was there tonight but there was more progress. He asked twice to go potty once he was already in bed. I think the first was a need and the second was a push to see where the boundaries would be made. But you can never stop the potty train. It must not be derailed. Today my own emotions were pushed in every direction, for every reason, and once again adulting isn’t all it’s cracked up to be but through tired eyes I watched my little boy crossed the victory line so many times. Celebrate our victories, celebrate yours. Know that tomorrow is a brand new day and keep pushing forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.