Owen woke up asking for his teacher, referenced Monday, and then quickly got onto the bowling adventure. For the last few weeks, every day is Monday to him. And today feels like a month on Mondays to me. For some reason, I woke up emotional and cranky, with a side of headache du jour. Nothing, in particular, has me going this morning, but that’s why emotions are just so much fun. Now if everyone could stop dropping hats I might stop crying. Potty training is in full swing, but the rules get us sometimes. Owen is doing excellent with it at school, but at home, he is in between struggling and exemplary. It will come. I tell myself to be patient with my own heart, but it’s not that easy. I get mad at myself for not being able to understand all the rules and to know which ones to push and which ones to wait on. It can make the difference between a calm day or meltdowns. We will be off to our bowling adventure soon. I’m not sure if I’m ready for the world today. Do we stay on the potty train, do we let it go for the moment, or do I embrace this new reality. One step at a time, I tell myself, breathing through this new reality. It’s like everything else we’ll get through it together. Owen is thriving and this is the next phase of his growing experience. He’s really doing great with it, probably better than me. He’s squished up against me, watching a video, and singing. When the emotions won't quit you still have to keep pushing forward. So that’s how today shall go. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. Today I breathe, I walk a mile in my own shoes, and I forgive myself for those moments I cry. Here’s to a great bowling day and the growth of my semi-pro bowler in the making. This is one moment in time. It may feel overwhelming, but this too shall pass and there is always someone that will understand your story. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.