I woke up in one of the most positive attitudes that I have in a very long time. Owen was yelling about his tablet. “Look it’s over dhere you have dem all”, he said. I didn’t have them charging in the same place as he normally goes to get them. He had his old one but it wasn’t the one he wanted. It wasn’t quite five in the morning yet but he was certainly ready to go. I said my usual, it’s nighttime, you can’t have your tablet yet. Plus, you have to go to the bathroom first, I continued. He answered, “yes ma’am no ma’am”, getting into bed with me. This is now his standard answer for when I ask him if he has to go potty. I try to teach him manners and responses to questions but he hasn’t made the connection that he doesn’t have to answer both. We’ve been working on math and spelling. A lot of times it’s my go-to in the car trying to distract him from yelling about the lights and “twaffic”. As we were laying there I had looked at my phone to see the time. The shadows from my hands were on the ceiling. It took me back to my childhood when my mom would show me shadow animals on the walls. I said, “what’s two plus two”. Owen answers, “equals”. I held up my hands with two fingers on each hand. I tried to get him to look at the ceiling, asking him to count my fingers. He didn’t understand any of those directions. I wanted him to look up. I tried switching to making animals with my fingers, hoping to swift his focus to the ceiling if I kept moving my hand. He didn’t understand that directions at all. Within a few minutes, my alarm was going off. We got up and he ran off to the potty. Owen knew to say equals. This is a huge step for him. The sadness and the expectations can overcome you but I have to focus on the positive moments. My sweet baby O is making tremendous progress. The journey through autism is not what I expected but the love is beyond compare. Be kind to your soul, make time for yourself, and know that you are important. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.