Some days we are floating by, making it. Other days I feel like there are so many victories, I lose count of them. And still other days I’m so lost, I want to cry endless tears for all the moments that seem so hard. Owen woke again in the middle of the night. He’s been struggling to fall back asleep; he asked for his teacher, and wanted to go to the bus stop, at three in the morning. I think Owen grasps time, but is not able to distinguish when it matters. It seems like he has an inner clock that tells him length of time, because he will start looking for me when he knows I should be back to pick him up in certain situations. Other times, like when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he wants things immediately, and has a hard time understanding why he can’t have something. He is stimming a lot tonight. He’s playing with one of his apps, and when it gets to a certain point, he takes his hands, making loose fists, shaking them. He then moves on to another part of the app, making his EEEEE sound as he moves through these parts. He can’t stop moving; full of energy, and emotions. Me on the other hand, I’m tired. I hope tonight is the night we get back on a sleep schedule. One day at a time, I tell myself. Owen’s not very talkative tonight, but he’ll run to me, climbing on my lap, leaning in to get a kiss on his forehead, and then off he runs again. He looks over at me, knocks his tablet off the arm of the couch, picks it up, and repeats the same motions again. I’m going with attention getter. The nighttime process begins. It’s all very routine. The steps help, but it can still take him awhile to settle down. And it will take me many hours after that. Rejoice in your accomplishments, find happiness in the flowers of life, and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.