I’m trying really hard to keep my chin up and my smile on today, especially since the tears seem to keep spilling out. I think about how slowly fast our nights go. They fly by with one of those slow-motion type effects repeating our emotions. I think about all of the exercises and learning experiences I didn’t give Owen in the many yesterdays that have gone. I have to focus on how far we’ve come and not the rabbit trail of tears I want to cry. In order to keep Owen motivated, I have to stay motivated. In order for me to stay motivated, I have to stay focused. But exhaustion wins so many of the days. Last night it sounded like Owen was making his own personal dental hygiene commercial. He said, “brand new teeth coming up” like it was the next show in the series, his cadence mimicking the videos he has watched so many times. Some days he doesn’t want to brush his teeth. He gets so upset when I even suggest it. Screams erupt from his tiny little body when I make him do things he doesn’t want to do. I get it. I totally get it, but I have to endure and push forward. It takes Owen a long time to learn life skills like holding a fork and actually eating with it. Eating with his hands is so much quicker for him, but I have to keep him focused on the goal of being self-sufficient. This is one of the reasons I started painting. I wanted to work with him on his fine motor skills, but wasn’t sure what to do. Now we paint together all the time. We use a hand-over-hand method, with him helping me paint the backgrounds, and then I paint the rest. I also work with him, still using the hand-over-hand method, to paint scenes he wants to do. He loves painting churches and Disney characters. These are the moments I need to focus on, the joy, the accomplishments, and the victories no matter how small they are. Be proud of where you have come from. Let go of the sadness, rejoice in your victories, and know that today is one moment in time. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.