I watched Owen once again only kinda, sorta dry his hands on the towel. And it dawned on me, finally dawned on me that this was a sensory thing. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me sooner, but here it was as plain day. I can only imagine the sensory overload in the bathroom alone. The drip drip drip of the water hitting the edge of the sink, the toilet noises, the shower, everything makes noises and sometimes I can tell it bothers him more than other times. “Wanna vacuum”, he said. I knew full well Owen did not want to vacuum, but he did want me to turn it on so he could scream about it being on. He loves watching vacuum reviews on YouTube and even reciting them, but not the actual vacuum. “All done”, he yells when the vacuum is on, sometimes kicking it or fumbling for the switch to turn it off in mid-push. I ripped a fingernail and I before I even thought about it I started touching it with my other finger, clicking it as I was trying to fix it and this was enough for Owen’s foot to start tapping. I realized what I was doing. This is something that shouldn’t be done. The clicking noise I was creating by trying to smooth out my nail was too much for Owen. His foot tapping was quickly going to escalate if I didn’t stop. Last night he was upset for two hours because I didn’t have my glasses on in bed. I never fall asleep with my glasses on but last night it sent him into a meltdown. He kept repeating about my “summer glasses”, all glasses are called summer glasses. These two hours got us to midnight. He had fallen asleep earlier and then woke up screaming about my glasses and the “box”. He wants to have a computer tower like he uses at grandma’s house instead of our laptop. He woke up this morning with the request for the box and my glasses still on his mind. Wondering what rule I am about to break keeps my mind spinning some days trying to stay ahead of the curveballs he throws at me. He listened better today than he does a lot of days and we were able to accomplish our goals. Never give up on the possibilities. There are miracles that happen around us every day. Find your strength, rejoice your progress, and celebrate even the tiniest of victories. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.