He seeks comfort in me that I cannot find in myself. Last night it didn’t take long for Owen to get in bed with me. It feels like we are back at step one. Hands were in my hair, knee in my back, and me wondering how this happened. Where did all that middle ground go. Why are we back to these things that were happening two years ago. What do I do now. These and many other fine questions are swirling through my mind. How do I know what input to give him to help promote the calm he needs. Bath time seems to be his biggest comfort right now. He has little stacking cups that have holes in them. He wants me to fill them with water and let the water flow on his feet. That seems like the only time he is completely calm. He doesn’t want me to turn the shower on, but it would have the same affect for him. The shower is too daunting to him. My focus is keeping him calm. The minute we get home he asks to take a bath. Doesn’t matter what time of day it is, or what else we are doing, he asks to take a bath. Some days my emotions are very heavy. After I picked Owen up we needed to go to the store, only the drive thru, but we had to go. Every day Owen asks about the drive thru, very few times do we ever go, but we talk about it every day. Today we went. Today he screamed the entire time. Today he was upset because we had to go to the drive thru. Last time we went, no screaming, no crying, no moments of anxiety, for either one of us. He’s still upset and we’ve been home for an hour. The questions surface; how do I make this easy for my baby, what can I do differently. I have to expose him to different things. I have to take him places. But how do I make him understand it’s going to be fine. I wish we could be in a bubble, but my bubble was bursted a long time ago. He’s learning, I’m learning, he’s growing, I’m growing, and together we are a team. Today is a moment in time. Through time we grow, we heal, we become stronger. Tomorrow is a new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.