When Saturday Strikes

Owen’s having a great morning. I just want to cry. And then I did. My emotions are all over the map. Some days autism is right there in my face. Owen is happy this morning, but he went to bed asking for his teacher and he woke up asking for her and milk. I have told him for weeks summer vacation would start and school would be over, but that isn’t something he understands. He knows what he wants and he wants school. I can’t give it to him. And trying to convince him to talk about something else is very difficult. If I ignore him he gets directly in my face to have the discussion or he starts going into meltdown mode. If I do get him distracted, within minutes he’s back to asking about the thing he wants. He started dancing this morning. His beautiful, little emotional moments of his feet planted on the ground, moving his knees to create motion, his left hand extended, catching air as he moves it back and forth. His right hand is performing its own movements and he’s watching it all with delight. So am I. Today I was bold. I pushed every one of our limits. I wore my hair back. In a ponytail. This was huge. Owen has been in a great mood all morning, so today was the day, the day to try it. I never wear my hair back or even a hat because this upsets Owen. Mommy needs to look like mommy. Any change is a change in his book and my hair pulled back is something he generally gets upset about. He will run across the room to me if I even play with it, making sure it’s not gone. With my hair in a ponytail today he only tried to pull it out about a dozen times. That’s huge progress. Through strength, acceptance, and understanding we all grow. I’m not only the giver of love, but I’m the learner of life. Through Owen’s eyes, I now see the world. Live, love, learn today and watch your world bloom. Smiles to all and donut daze!