The listening skill was activated last night. Owen woke around midnight but I told him that if he wanted any chance of going to do something today he had to go right back to bed. He immediately went. He didn’t come back until a little after “five oh oh.” He wanted me up but I said I needed more sleep. He came back once and I told him that I would get up in a few minutes to let me rest so we could go do something today. He listened.

We are working on listening and waiting for responses. When we are practicing it he does well but when he isn’t in the moment it is still a lot of repeating. The repeating is what he is used to so we will get there but he is making progress and I can tell in so many ways he is catching up to his age. I always ask is it age, Owen, or autism? The progress is incredible and I am thankful for that.

We were going to go on an adventure and then to lunch but I made the mistake of letting him take a bath before we left. He didn’t want to get out of the bath and then no matter what I said he didn’t want to go anywhere. There are days he can’t process all his emotions or if there are changes that happen it makes it harder for him.

With it being so incredibly hot I was not too sad he didn’t want to go anywhere. He stayed mostly calm but kept showing me this one app over and over again. He listens to it way too loud and it causes him to do a lot of stomping because the app changes all the noises to a high pitched chipmunk type sound. The stomping is getting more stompy the older he gets and it rocks the whole house. He thinks it is hilarious plus I’m sure he likes it for the sensory input. I thought maybe he would grow out of this app but he has loved it since he was very young.

He is so excited that we are going to breakfast with some of our friends next Thursday. He was so happy that we set a date and that we could put it on the calendar. I was glad I could put it on the calendar for him and now he is using the calendar to look at his different activities.

Oh, how our world has changed. I never imagined he would be so excited about using a calendar and wanting to schedule times to eat with our friends. When he was young he would tear up calendars or erase everything off the whiteboard when I would try to show him his schedule. I’m so thankful he now wants to see the calendar and I hope it helps him. Plus I absolutely love that he wants to meet his friends at places now.

It was once again a big food day for us. I asked Owen what he wanted to eat and listed many things. He said, “cheese sandwich and pancakes” which wasn’t on the list but that is exactly what I fixed. He wanted two pieces of bread and a slice of cheese. He didn’t want it grilled or with anything on the bread but he ate every bit of it and his pancakes. I love his new requests.

The evening went quickly. I pray he sleeps tonight and he can go to his therapy tomorrow. Today I feel like we both grew. Emotions can be hard but we got through the rollercoastery ones and I’m thankful. His laughter made my day. Let the sunshine fill your heart with gladness and know that tomorrow will be a better day. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Oh boy, what a night. Owen had a lot on his mind. The news from yesterday still rippled through his mind. He was wound up and the words and questions were endless. I know it has all been hard on him. I knew we would not be going anywhere today. I wasn’t sleeping well on my own and then he woke up very early so focused on everything but sleeping. I could tell last night when he went to bed it was going to be a long night.

We were supposed to go to the pool if it wasn’t raining but all I could think about was sitting. He had so much on his mind and he was very hyper even though I could tell he was very tired. I hoped for it to be a calm day so we could work on some of his skills and exercises.

He was back to wanting to see his pediatrician. He loves his people and he wants them all to know. He wanted to tell her that he misses her. This was on repeat along with him missing the magical hats game. I have mixed feelings about them ever coming back on their game. I’m not sure why the game changed but now that they are gone he is somewhat calmer about it but I also know how much he loved them.

As the morning wore on he wanted to sit with me a lot. He was asleep for two point two seconds until he realized he was and then it was nonstop talking for hours to keep himself awake. He stayed pretty calm even though he kept talking louder to keep himself awake. I knew it was going to be a very long day because he kept asking me if my eyes were open and would even yell it from the other room whenever he would walk away from me.

Food was another big topic for the day. For breakfast, he had his pancake sausage dogs and then immediately asked for snacks. This was after he had eaten a first breakfast of cereal. I asked him if he wanted a sandwich or something else for lunch and he said shrimp. He hadn’t asked for that in a while. He ate all of the shrimp that I thought I was cooking for both of us until I realized he had taken the whole plate before I separated it. I ate a sandwich. It seems like snacks filled the rest of our day.

I told him that I was going to call him “Mr Loud Tablet” because no matter how many times I ask him to turn it down he turns it right back up. He said, “Mommy make a phone call” because I had used the word “call.” I then tried to explain to him about nicknames and he just kept yelling “Mommy make a phone call no phone call today.” He had still been pretty calm so I was hoping this wouldn’t upset him too much.

Nighttime came and he said, “Look out the window.” It is always confusing to him how it can be nighttime and it is still so bright outside. He told me he wants to do something tomorrow and I told him he has to sleep tonight or at least let me sleep so we can go somewhere. We said our prayers and he was supposed to go straight to bed but he wants to continue asking the same questions over and over again. I can tell when it is going to take him a while to get into his bed because of his stance. He stretches his legs apart and gets ready to stomp. I think it is part of a sensory need for him. Once he is done with his questions he finally makes this very dramatic stomping exit off to bed. I pray for sleep tonight. I am thankful he was in a good mood even though we were both exhausted. Know that you are amazing and can accomplish anything if you set your mind to it. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Sleep was a little more sporadic for me and Owen was up early but at least there was no screaming. He was excited about his day. He was hoping he would get to see his friend when he went to music therapy. Even though he was up early he was mostly calm. Just praying it gets better when he is back in routine.

He knew he was going to his grandma’s house while I had my doctor’s appointment so he was extremely excited and couldn’t wait to go. He kept asking me every few minutes if it was time to go. We finally got ready and we met his grandma at Kroger. They went off to their adventure and I had my appointment.

After it was done I went to pick him up to take him to his music therapy. He was excited to play in his little pool and wanted me to see him playing. We then headed to his therapy. His therapist said he did amazing. She said he was so calm. I’m thankful for that. I am so glad for the days he can focus. He got to see his friend for a few minutes before he went to his appointment and it made his day.

We came home to eat a snack before we went to his vision therapy appointment and then we were off. Today did not go as smoothly. He did fine at the beginning even though he wasn’t doing any of the exercises he was at least calm and talking to his doctor and the assistant but then he started screaming about gum. He then calmed down after they gave him some. I talked to him a little about his behavior and told him that if he wanted to go swimming tomorrow he needed to stop screaming. The gum and the mention of swimming helped calm him down and he was able to do a couple of the exercises but it wasn’t pretty.

When we were done they walked us to our car and we were off to get our pizza that he wanted. We ate our pizza and then it was bath time. Bedtime was not very smooth but we got it done. I pray he sleeps tonight and we get to go swimming tomorrow. Thankful for the good part of our day and his laughter. Each day look at the challenges as your next victories to make happen. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Oh what a glorious sleeping night we had. I woke up a little before five and Owen woke up at 5:15 proudly claiming he “slept upper night” and he got to go to church. He did a few spins and shouts. I am thankful for the sleep too. I tossed and turned a little but basically slept for six hours straight. We were busy bees this morning but at least he was calm and happy. When I don’t sleep it is so hard for me to stay even close to one step ahead of him but thankfully sleep happened and I felt pretty good today.

I love how he throws out random prayers throughout the day and that he wants to do it every night now. He prayed our friend was going to church with us and that we were going to meet our other friends after church to go to lunch. He was very happy.

He has big plans to invite everyone for food before he goes back to school. My little planner is actually starting to do what he plans. And loving it. I’m amazed at how much he wants to do now and is planning it himself. His growth this summer is amazing and incredible.

We picked up our friend to go to church with us. Owen was happy she was there. After the service, we went to lunch with our friends. This also made him very happy because he planned the whole thing. He was pretty hyper while we were there but he was glad we did it. After we left Wendy’s we drove by his favorite statue the burger boy and then took our friend home.

We are working on sentence structure and how to reference himself. He will say “Owen feeling good” so I am trying to explain when he would say “I.” He is now saying “I am feeling good great.” He is making incredible progress with his words and how he references everything.

My planner is planning places to go with his grandma. He never forgets a thing and was showing me places he had been before. There was a little park near where his grandma lives and he went there with her when he was little. He showed it to me on Google Earth and said, “Grandma take you.” I’m thankful for his memories and all his new requests. I’m also thankful for a great Sunday and a “happy Owen Owen is happy.” Let the sunshine fill your heart with happiness and share it with the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I knew it was going to be a long night before it was even a long night. Owen was ready to go party with his grandma before he even went to sleep. It didn’t take long before he woke up the first time. After that, he came to ask me quite often when we were leaving to see her.

He also asked me to take him to every pool that he found on Google Earth and in pictures. It’s quite interesting how he can find things and it was quite interesting how important this was to him at two o’clock in the morning. I wish I could make all his dreams come true. He was telling me all about the pool and what he wanted to do. I keep hoping that he will figure out how to hold his breath completely underwater so he can go on the diving board. I need him to be safe though.

His scream pulsated through my body one more time when I didn’t answer him. When he is tired it gets harder. When I am tired it gets harder. My heart aches for calm and for him to be able to understand that screaming is not an option. That’s the only thing he can process sometimes. And that is the only thing I can’t process sometimes.

One of the hardest parts is never feeling like I am in my own brain when he is constantly talking to me. I’m thankful for his words and I know how hard he has worked to have those words but my brain is tired and he doesn’t understand that I can’t constantly keep up with him especially when he is talking to me in other languages and expects me to know what he is saying.

What sounded like a transformer blew near us and our power went off for a split second but it caused the internet to go out. It took the internet a few minutes to get connected back on. When it came on he went around talking in other languages to Siri and Alexa asking them to translate more things. Then he told me we had to make waffles in Arabic and milk too. I’m thankful it came on quickly and he was able to handle it.

We got ready and I took him to his grandma’s house. He stayed there several hours while I rested. Before I meet them to pick him up he got to drive around with his grandma to see all his favorite places. I’m thankful she is feeling slightly better and able to do more things now that she is on the medicine for Lyme disease. I pray that it continues to help her.

The night was a mix of hyper, calm, and pushing buttons but I feel like some of my words finally sank in with him because I could tell he wasn’t laughing at me as much and not as much screaming. I explained to him that if he continued to scream at me we would be staying home until he learned to be kind to me. I told him I understand he has a lot of emotions but screaming gets us nowhere and we will stay home to work on it. I pray he continues to make these connections with this. I always want him to know his emotions are valid but mine are too and we can’t hurt others over our emotions. It’s a lot for him to process but I have to explain it all to him.

Easiest night in a long time -so far for him to go straight to bed. He didn’t want extra time he wanted instead to “cut the paper with scissors.” We then said our prayers. He said, “Dear God thank you for Owen grandma our friends and church amen.” He started going back and forth about going to church. I said one more time if he slept tonight we would. He wanted me to say it again and I stopped him. Thankfully he listened to what I said and he walked right to his room. I pray for sleep. I pray for understanding and patience for both of us. And I pray for a great day tomorrow. Let the tomorrows ahead always be the new beginnings you dream of. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Send up the flares! Owen was excited that he could go swimming! He woke about 5:15! I slept until 4:30. I fell asleep for about an hour when O did and then I fell back asleep by 11 so thankfully I got a lot more sleep myself. He was so happy when he woke up and knew he would be able to go swimming.

He was talking about moving to the woods so now that I might have him convinced maybe property will come up. I have been trying to prepare him for us eventually moving when I ever find the right place for us. This morning he got in his head about being in the woods. I was glad for the conversation.

We were meeting our friend Kassidy at the pool around noon. He started listing all the other pools he wanted to go to. He wants to go on the slides and diving board. He needs to be able to breathe better under water. He is getting closer though. We got ready and off to the pool we went.

He had tons of fun. He did well and we stayed for a little over an hour. If we stay for too long he gets overstimulated and then screams about getting out of the pool. He was a little hyper but did ok. We went to get some food afterwards and he had lots of questions about everything. We took our friend home and then headed home.

He had to inspect our tires when we got home. There was a big truck that blew a tire about a mile in front of us. We had to go around the tire pieces in the road. He was worried about that. Thankfully we were able to miss the huge tire pieces but it still made him want to check the car out. He doesn’t miss any details.

The rest of the day had me walking on eggshells. Constantly. The screaming and nonstop talking gets me. I stood crying in the kitchen and he laughed at me. He can’t process all his emotions and then how to deal with mine. It is hard and I can only imagine what his mind goes through. He wanted me to sit and asked me questions about things I didn’t know the answers to. This is how it went all evening. He finds no comfort in the answers I do know and less when I say I don’t know.

We were at the baby crying with the pacifier stage of the night. About 30 minutes into it and I was at my last distraction attempt when he declared he wanted milk that he didn’t drink but at least the slow motion crying babies stopped. We will see if he sleeps tonight. To say he was wound up was an understatement. I pray he sleeps tonight.

Sometimes I think doing different activities makes him move hyper. It is a lot for him to process and he can’t always contain his emotions. Today I focused on the good stuff and that was his incredible smile. Each day we are faced with challenges but let those be your victories for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Twitching of the eyes is where it’s at today for both of us. My eyes can’t even eye today. Luckily, I slept for about three hours when Owen went to bed. From there, we have been up all night. His entrance into my room was grand and loud. “Good morning sunshine how are you doing today I’m fine tablet tablet,” he said. Me, “It’s not five o’clock in the morning you need to go back to bed.” He went for all of about two point two seconds. From there loud talking, screaming, and nose to nose staring was what it was all about.

One concern was if I was happy, next was when he was going to have “blue pancakes” again, then he wanted to know about clothes and if people would be mad if he hit them, and finally when we could get ready for therapy. I say finally but numerous other concerns came to light after we got up like what our friend was eating in Florida and of course, if his best friend would have a chair next to him in class. Pancakes and bowling again plus the pool are also the talk of the town.

I called and canceled his therapy. I didn’t see it going over well today. He was laughing at everything and I certainly wasn’t going to drive the way I was feeling. The screaming stopped at some point in the morning and he wasn’t talking in the loud voice but I didn’t see him handling everything well and especially if one of his therapists was going to be in new clothes even though he knew to expect it.

We listened to the crying babies who steal the pacifier from each other for I don’t know how long. He plays it in slow motion for sometimes thirty minutes or longer at a time, replaying the same crying section over and over. I was just going through the motions trying to stay awake and coffee was certainly my friend, kinda. It still somewhat messes with my stomach after all my infusions.

He was calm by the afternoon but mostly because he was trying to keep himself awake. Food was also a big topic and what we were going to do tomorrow. I told him we will have to wait and see. He wanted to know if our friend was eating another “rhubarb sandwich.” He called it that instead of a Reuben. This was a running question throughout the day.

He told me that he wanted to know if he would have to walk in the road on August 15th. He always wonders if he has to cross the street for the bus. He is counting the days down until he goes back to school. It is three weeks away. He’s made so much progress this summer so I know that it will be an incredible year ahead for him.

He sat beside me extremely tired but we still had hours to go before it was bedtime. I was not letting him fall asleep though because I could only imagine how the night would go then. He told me “Owen too upset no therapy.” I told him that we have to work on him not yelling at me and at least letting me sleep so we can do different activities. I don’t know how else to relate it to him. I pray we sleep tonight so he can go to the pool tomorrow. Through tired eyes I pray tonight is calmer at bedtime as well. Each day I try to focus on the progress. We all got something but don’t let it stop you from being amazing. You are a gift to the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Someone was very excited about his day. Owen was awake around three but thankfully he went back to sleep. Me not so much. He had come in like a freight train telling me all about his day and wanting his tablet. I told him it was nowhere close to the time to wake up. He went back to bed but I couldn’t fall back asleep.

He couldn’t wait for his very exciting day. I hoped it lived up to all his expectations and more. I was praying the bowling alley would be open. He was praying too. He was already planning his next adventures with all his people. He wanted to make sure I would put them all on the calendar. It’s wonderful to see him making all these plans.

We got ready and we went to pick up our friend Kassidy for breakfast and bowling. He ate blueberry pancakes -his choice and two pieces of bacon. Our waitress was great and she asked Owen a lot of questions. There was also another waitress who stopped to talk to him several times. Both were great with Owen and I loved watching their interactions with him. It was nice.

We then went bowling and he was so happy it was open. Kassidy was able to help him and they did beautifully together. He enjoyed it. I asked him if he wanted to do anything else and he said to take Kassidy home and stay home. Sometimes he can’t process adding anything else to his agenda. We took her home and then we went home. He told me he had lots of fun.

He was wound up tight as soon as we got home. He was into the pushing buttons phase of the day. I’m not quite sure when he started this extremely loud talking but it has been happening more and more lately and in my face screaming. It was the complete opposite of how the earlier part of the day went. The loud talking, screaming, and acting up was how the rest of the night went.

Bedtime was hard. He wants to ask the same questions and will not budge until he finds comfort in words. He finally calmed down and went to bed. I pray he sleeps all night and wakes up after “five oh oh.” Here’s to growth, friendship, and new experiences. Follow your dreams and let the world see your success. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Once Owen and I woke up from our little nap last night I couldn’t fall back asleep until after midnight. I was surprised we both slept for about thirty minutes before it was his actual bedtime. He woke up in the middle of the night asking for waffles and chocolate milk but I told him to go back to bed. He did but came back to get his tablet at a time when the clock was way too blurry for me to see. He was calm though and asked again around 5:30 for chocolate milk. Within no time it was three waffles down, wanting to stay home, and talking about looking at the calendar to see when he could schedule meals with all his people.

I told him that we should use his calendar on his tablet and we can put all of his appointments in there. He said, “No no no” and walked away. A few minutes later he came back with the calendar open and said, “You can see the calendar.” He handed it to me and started asking about when he was going to breakfast with his people. He wanted me to put it on the calendar. My heart is exploding with joy! He actually wants to even look at the calendar and put things in it. My sweet baby O is growing! It makes me happy that he is so excited about going places now. I dreamed about these moments.

He told me every few minutes he didn’t want to go anywhere so I didn’t push it. We have plans tomorrow for breakfast and bowling. He is very excited about that. I asked him what he wanted to do and he said, “cracker burial” as he calls it, and bowling. He told me that he wants big pancakes, not little ones like I got him last time and he said, “No water at the bowling alley.” Last time the bowling alley had no water because of work that the city was doing for some reason so hopefully we won’t have that problem again but otherwise we will go shopping or to the park.

He is worried about everything shocking him. He listed things all day long that could shock him and asked me if he would get shocked. He won’t open certain doors because during winter he got shocked when he tried to open the door. It’s hard to even explain why you get shocked sometimes and don’t get shocked other times. Hopefully, he will stop stressing over it though. I don’t know how else to give him comfort from it when I can’t even explain it.

Time for school to start is dwindling down and he is super excited about that. He wants to make sure his best friend has a seat at school near him and that he will get a school tablet as well. I keep trying to prepare him that they may not be in the same class but he can’t even imagine that is an option. I’m thankful he will get to see him more though.

We were getting ready for bed and he started talking about going bowling. He said, “I hope it’s not broken I pray.” Every time I hear him say “I pray” a smile washes over my face and I am thankful. It reminds me of how many times a day I tell him I pray something works out or happens. God is always walking with us on this journey and I am so thankful that Owen has learned the power of prayer. Pray loud, pray faithfully, and listen for the replies when you step out into the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Half and half night and then success. Owen got up about three but I spoke the magic words “grandma’s house.” I told him if he didn’t go back to bed he couldn’t go and he went. He came back after five and even let me sleep a tiny bit longer but kept coming back with his tablet facing me so that it would shine on me.

Learning not to respond to things when you are asleep is not something I am good at yet. He needs to understand that just because he is up doesn’t mean I need to be up unless, of course, I do. However, the whole shining the light in my face is the attention he is seeking and it isn’t something I can keep myself from reacting to when I am still asleep. I have talked to him about it when I am awake but so far he is still getting the satisfaction from doing it but at least he isn’t quite as concerned with my eyes actually being closed.

He was pretty calm as the morning went on but he had two things on his mind. He kept hoping to see his friend when he went to therapy and he was excited to meet his grandma while I had my appointment. I told him that we would be getting ready shortly to go meet her and then I would pick him up later for us to go to his appointment. I was thankful he was listening.

I had my appointment and then I went to get Owen from my mom. He had a good morning with her and she told me he ate a lot. He even took a hard-boiled egg off the counter when she was getting ready to make egg salad. I love that he is making more decisions about food on his own. We got ready to go and he gave my mom a big hug. The love they have for each other fills my heart with so much joy.

We went to his music therapy. The whole way there I tried to distract him from his one track mind but his powers are far greater than mine. He wanted to know if he was going to see his best friend and no matter how many times I tell him I don’t know he still wants to know. He was not there but it did not keep the questions from coming. He enjoyed his session and talked about it and not seeing his best friend all the way home.

When we got home I was yawning and he pointed that out to me. It still amazes me when he comes up with things like this and says it. He is very observant but it still catches me off guard sometimes. I wasn’t feeling my best today but he did not want me to close my eyes at all. He kept talking to me and making sure I had lots of activities to keep me awake. He didn’t have his vision therapy so we had lots of time for many activities.

He told me that we weren’t going anywhere tomorrow but we will see what he says when he gets up in the morning. I’m thankful for a good day for my sweet baby O. I pray he sleeps tonight. I am thankful for Owen’s progress and his growth. Never give up on the hope for tomorrow. I watch my miracle grow every day. Smiles to all and donut daze!