When one night gives you lemons the next night you make lemonade with it. Owen slept in his bed until after five. He probably would have slept longer if I didn’t get up to go the bathroom. I tried to be quiet but every noise is a noise to him and I could hear him stirring before I even got to the bathroom. At that point, we were up but he was in a great mood. I was thankful. We hadn’t been up too long when he started talking about his day. He wanted to go to grandma’s and he wanted to go bowling. I was thrilled. Today was so different than our last Saturday. Sometimes when his emotions are hooked to an event it will carry forward and I was afraid since he struggled with the path to grandma’s last week and we didn’t go bowling that it would be some of the same emotions. Thankfully he moved forward. I drove exactly the way he requested to see grandma. I didn’t want this to be the point that changed our day. He was still happy when we got there. He stayed several hours and when I went to pick him up he told me “no bowling today”. This didn’t sound like his final say on the matter but more like he was reliving the moments from last week. We stayed at grandma’s house a little longer and then off to the bowling alley we went. He said it a couple more times but I could also sense the excitement in him as we were getting closer. My semi-pro bowler was back. He got inside and he was all smiles. He was ready to bowl. He mostly wanted me to throw the ball but he got the ball from the return and carried it to me or the lane. He went through the motions with me as I threw it and he was very fascinated by the scoreboard. He’s now starting to pay more attention to the numbers on it and what frames we have left to bowl. We had five balls left and he started asking to bowl again. I told him we weren’t finished yet. He kept asking. We got down to the last one and I told him we were done. “One more again”, he said. I asked him if he wanted to bowl a whole new game or he was ready to go home. He said it again. He was very patient as we waited for the game to reset and the dude was ready to bowl. He still didn’t want to roll it on his own but he was fully engaged. When this game ended he said, “one more again”. And I said, “no”. This momma was tired. He kept asking but I told him we could bowl again next week. I need to order his new ball but I forget to do it until I’m there. When we got home he was very interactive with me and ate a pretty good dinner. He asked to sit under his blanket with me and even listened when I told him it was bedtime. I got him a new teddy bear that plays songs and a heartbeat sound hoping it will help him sleep so I let him choose what noise he wanted and he held it as he was falling asleep. I could tell he was still processing his emotions because he was talking about his driving directions that he gives me. “Straight it’s not straight”, he said, going on to talk about right turns and left turns. His emotions were right on the surface for him but he fell asleep quickly in my arms and another day was done. I’m thankful he wanted to go bowling and that he enjoyed it. Your dreams can be your reality when you keep putting one foot forward and believing in yourself. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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I’m not quite sure how my eyes are still open for the day. Owen pretty much insisted that two in the morning was a great time to be awake and that if he was awake the world or I had to be awake with him. There are nights that he can be awake in his room with his tablet and there are nights he is awake and he will try to open my eyes every few minutes. And if he is not literally trying to open my eyes he is somehow connected to my nose telling me to “wake up”. He does this through subtle screaming or sometimes licking my face, occasionally pulling my hair or pulling all the covers off of me, laughing hysterically as he does it. Last night was of the subtly screaming in my face variety. When we did finally get up I told him that he could not have his tablet or watch tv before we got ready for school. I, however, did not say he couldn’t talk to Alexa. As soon as he got out of the bathroom he ran to Alexa and started talking to her in a language I didn’t recognize. When I told him to get his shoes he went to his keyboard instead. He immediately started playing it. I reminded him to get his shoes. We got dressed and off to school he went. There was not one indicator that he missed out on any sleep during the night. We got to the bus stop and he was full of energy, he practically ran up the steps to the bus. When he got home from school there was still no indication he was as exhausted as I was. He said to me multiple times “we do not pull hair” as he put his hands in my hair. I tried to explain to him about actions and reactions but he giggled. Behaviors can be hard for him and something can take him ten, twenty, or one hundred times before he processes it. At some point, he lost the remote control. This did not cause him to spiral until I asked him to help me look for the remote control. Luckily I have learned to keep a backup on hand but I still have him help me search for it to teach him to look for things. We never did find it. The second backup has been ordered and generally, I find them the day the new one comes in the mail. He did not want to listen tonight but once we started the bedtime process he was out quickly. I talked to him again about how he is a big boy now and he has to work with mommy because we are a team. He sang with Alexa in multiple languages and he loves hearing her talk in “whale noises”. He also asks her for cats and moose. He asked to go bowling tomorrow so I pray when he wakes up tomorrow he is having a great day so we can go. Never give up on the hope for tomorrow. Some days may feel overwhelming but look for the rays of sunshine ahead. Smiles to all and donut daze!
One of these days one of us will sleep. And I have to guess it won’t be me. Owen woke and got into bed with me maybe around two. I think we were both so tired I didn’t pay attention. Luckily he fell back asleep quickly and so did I. When we woke again the morning started pretty much the same way as every morning now. He said, “two more minutes” as I was attempting to get out of bed without waking him. He ran past me to get to the bathroom but quickly stopped to get his tablet. I told him to go potty first and then he would have a couple of minutes before we had to go. And then I told him to get his shoes while I finished getting ready. He wants to go but he also wants “two more minutes” constantly. I reminded him to get his shoes as I passed him again or I would get them. If I get them I get a different pair. I have a couple of different pairs of shoes for him so that he can decide which ones he wants to wear. He always picks the “blue tennis shoes” but talks about all the other ones. I got his other pair exactly like his blue ones but in a different color. He only wants to wear the blue ones though. I get it. Partly it’s a texture and sensory thing for him, partly it’s because they are blue, and maybe he just likes them and they feel better than the other ones. I want him to understand he has choices but he also has to do things when mommy asks him to do them. He is getting more independent but he is also getting more set on not listening to my instructions. I put his other tennis shoes in front of the couch where I help him put them on and when I came back a few minutes later he had gotten his blue ones and replaced them. I thought clearly one of us was getting the message and maybe he was telling me a thing or two as well by getting them. He knew today “mommy gonna pick you up mommy going to pick me up for therapy”. He is working on understanding how to express his words and the language structure so he will say something and then change it by working on wording. When we walked to the bus stop he once again talked to the street sign and then wanted to run down the street. I told him if he ran from me he would have to start wearing the armbands to keep him with me. We got to the bus stop and he wanted to ask Siri how to say numerous things in other languages before the bus got there. His face lit up when he saw the bus turn the corner. When I picked him up from school he knew exactly where he was going and he was almost giddy with excitement. We got to his therapy place and we waited for his therapist to come to get him. It’s such a joy to me that he is ready to go learn. He thrives with learning. When he came out he immediately said, “chicken nuggets” and his therapist said, “what do you say first”. He said, “hi mommy chicken nuggets”. She told me they were working on that before they came out. I love how all his therapists try to teach him life skills along with the other aspects of what they are teaching him. As we were driving to get his chicken nuggets I said to him “I was in circles” and he started singing “here we go loopty loo”. I had to laugh and think that pretty much describes me. We had our moments again where he wasn’t listening to me but we also worked through those moments and I think he is starting to understand what it means to have those behavioral consequences but those boundaries are still being pushed. He fell asleep quickly talking about getting to see his teacher on Friday. I’m thankful for his growth and learning. Find your joy, share your story, and the rest will follow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
The new old routine is starting to sink in I think. Owen slept pretty much like he does every night but woke extremely happy to be going to school. There are days that he has a difficult time following instructions. I have to gauge whether it is him being a nine year old, not comprehending what I’m asking him to do, or not being able to focus on the task. Each one presents itself a little differently but the reactionary behaviors are about the same. I asked him to give me his tablet. He did not want to go to bed so he fought the process. He quickly started another game instead of handing his tablet to me. I walk towards him to get it and he immediately starts kicking and hitting into the air. I wasn’t close to him but he knew he didn’t want to give it up. I counted to three, holding out my hand, and he still didn’t give it to me. I sat down next to him, he calmed some. I continued counting to ten. He stood up and he half gave the tablet to me and I half took it. These behaviors are all kind of mixed together. He’s a little kid, why would he want to go to bed, but he also can not kick and hit people in response to a request. I talked to him about our actions and that we have to respect one another. He said, “sorry mommy” and put his forehead near me to kiss it. After school, we painted together and we worked on one of his painting projects. He didn’t eat much for dinner but magically got hungry right when it was bedtime. After he ate his second dinner I got him ready for his bath. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep tonight but he did talk a lot as he was falling asleep. “Movie is blue pants”, he said. He references blue pants all the time but I’m not sure what he was trying to say at that point. He fell asleep saying giraffe in Russian and laughing as he drifted off. I’m glad he was in a good mood. He knows tomorrow is therapy day and he is ready for school. That makes this momma happy. Always remember you are a lot stronger than you think you are. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I hear the rain outside and all I can think about is Owen saying, “I love puddles”. He doesn’t always make the connection to what’s around him but he loves puddles and he loves the water. I keep thinking what a day this has been. How many eggs can you stress eat, I wonder. I wish they were Cadbury eggs but I gave up sugar, again. Every night I go to bed praying Owen will sleep through the night. And every night he wakes up, gets into bed with me, and generally, we have a discussion about animals, languages, or the fact that it’s still nighttime. Throw in noises that the earth makes and we have ourselves a full night. When he woke this morning he wanted “two minutes” to stay in bed but I told him we needed to get going so he could make it to the bus. He jumped out of bed and ran past me. He made a beeline to Alexa and started talking to her before he went to the bathroom. We finished getting ready and we were off to the bus stop. On the way there he likes to talk to the stop sign. He asks it questions, tells me it’s making noise, and then we can keep walking. When we were waiting for the bus he asks Siri how to say different phrases in other languages. Today he asked for “I want to ride on the school bus in Russian” and he asks her questions about bananas, how to say buffalo in numerous languages, and ask her questions about his school day. When he got home from school he was mostly calm. I asked him what he wanted for dinner listing several options and he said, “waffles”. I thought sure since he specifically asked for them. I put them on his plate and as soon as I did he ran. I was like dude you asked for them. He came back in a little bit and ate them. I said to him “you know what” and he said, “I love you”. This makes me happier than anything else in the world. No matter how my day is going when he says, “I love you” that’s all I need. He sang his heart out in Portuguese and answered several questions about a Disney show he was watching in Russian. I love how he is answering me more and more when I ask him questions about random things. He fell asleep quickly tonight and for that I’m thankful. I tell him all the time he can soar to any place he wants to if he believes in himself and I know he will do great things. Believe in yourself and the rest will follow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Owen knew what today was and he was happy. He couldn’t wait to get up and get to that bus this morning. He woke around four, told me a whole bunch of facts about the whales again, and proceeded to fall back asleep in my arms. I did not want to get out of bed this morning but we had to get going. I’m trying to have him put on his clothes and work with him to get his shoes and socks on. I have to remind him what direction his clothes face and that seams go on the inside. He doesn’t understand the concept. All I keep thinking is to make sure I never buy him clothing that has any of the seams on the outside. It would be too confusing for him. I got socks for him that have pulls on the sides where he can stick his fingers in them and pull them up over his foot. This helps and frustrates him all at the same time. It’s all so much. It’s easier for me to put them on him but that does not help him grow. I want to cry and scream right along with him. It’s all so much. He struggles with these steps. He still can only pull his socks up part of the way and unless his shoes are already unvelcroed he can’t figure out how to push his foot in there. But he is learning and he is growing. When he came home from school we were supposed to go to the park but it was raining. He asked for his friend a couple of times but he then told me “momma change” which means he knows we are staying home. I got him a snack and put it on the table. He said, “no baby scissors today mommy here”. And with that, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. He has struggled with the routine for years with summers always being different for him and going to daycare or with babysitters so I’m glad I was right there in that moment with him. We had a great night. He really didn’t want to eat much but it might also be that he ate a huge snack when he came home. He looked like he had grown again. He sang a lot for me tonight and even let me sing for him. I like to make up songs and sometimes that’s easier because he isn’t expecting me to get the words right or be on key. He fell asleep in my arms, asking me to go to my bed. It’s always the struggle of what to do but I would get no sleep if I let him sleep with me all night long. Currently, I’m staring at the pillows that are supposed to be at the head of my bed under the covers and at the footboard. Tonight’s noises were walrus, “not the moose”, and elephants that he said in Spanish. He is back in full force with all the languages and now learning to make all the animal noises too. He puts the song in my heart. Find what makes your heart sing and rejoice in those moments. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Owen came to my bed around what seems to be his new go-to time of four o’clock in the morning. I guess that’s better than him waking up several times through the night. After a little discussion of earth noises, he fell back asleep for about an hour. When he woke the second time he was telling me about the whale and everything it can do. Then he started making the whale noises like he has asked Alexa so many times. I wonder if he thinks all animals can communicate with each other. He recites so many of the conversations that the Disney characters will have with each other and he will also have the complete conversations that a character like Goofy will have with the monkeys, even making the monkey sounds. When we got out of bed he was ready for “church church church”. I told him it wasn’t time to go yet and he said, “in a little bit” using my words that I’ve said so many times. Today felt like he was a lot more connected. I still felt some anxiousness from him but not like yesterday. He did well on the way to church, during church, and mostly on the way home. We had stopped for his requested chicken nuggets and that took a little longer than he was hoping for. He didn’t eat as much of his lunch but he ate a huge dinner. He started playing with his tablet and then asked Alexa for “the pizza choir”. I really don’t know why but he went on to say “this is the whale song” and made the whale noises again. I try to have conversations with him to promote interactions and I asked him to name four foods. He said, “carrots pizza popcorn apples”, two of those being foods he is not a huge fan of. We painted together and then I told him it was time to get ready for bed. Trying to get him to bed is like opening a can of worms. I finally got him in the bath and then he fell asleep pretty quickly. The new supplement seems to be working. I was thankful for a better day. We had our moments but I felt the connections with him today and he was happier. Never give up on the miracle yet to come. Smiles to all and donut daze!
“Church tomorrow”, Owen belted out almost singing it. The emotional rollercoaster was in full force today. He woke early but when he woke he was happy and very talkative. This was the second time we were awake and he was awake for the day. I quickly figured out he was on edge though. He needed everything to be exactly as he wanted it. Saturdays are for going to grandma’s house, bowling, and the coffee shop, but before we could even walk out the door Owen was telling me “no bowling today”. I thought he will change his mind as the day goes on. He then told me “no park today”. Sometimes he goes to the park with his grandma. I told him we were going to get ready and leave in a few minutes. And there it came “no grandma’s today”. He went on “wanna stay home”. I told him if he wanted to stay home we could. He then started repeating “grandma”. This is where it is all hard. I know he loves spending time with his grandma but sometimes getting there is half the process. It’s the fine line of do I listen to his words or do I go ahead with the plan. I told him we could stay home and I sat down. He came to me, asking for grandma again, almost pleading to go. We got ready and we started driving there. The closer we got the more directions he gave. I try to explain to him that he doesn’t need to worry about the stoplights that we will get there. He wanted me to go straight at a light we normally turn at. I went straight. The closer we got to the next light the more he started getting anxious. He was talking about a door and buildings. I wasn’t sure what he was referring to but he gets directions in his mind and he wants to go specific ways. He wanted me to turn but he also wanted me to go to the light. When I turned he immediately started screaming. “Turn around”, he yelled and started crying. This is what’s so hard. He’s going to his grandma’s, he’s going the direction he requested, and he’s struggling with seeing everything he needs to see in its right place. “Wanna go home”, he yelled. I told him I would take him home. He then started crying for grandma. I told him he could still go to see her. The closer we got to her house the more he cried out directions. He wanted me to “turn right at the fire hydrant”. There was no fire hydrant around. He kept giving me directions and I kept driving. When we got there he told me again “no bowling today” and “wanna go home”. I told him we could go home. I gave him a big hug and then he went to stand beside his grandma. He stayed. I wasn’t sure how long he would stay but after a little bit, he was fine. When I came to pick him up he went back and forth on bowling. I decided to come home. I didn’t want him to struggle with us going bowling. Driving home was not as hard on him as it was earlier but he still had very specific directions in his mind. He calmed down once again when we got home. He was watching Disney Junior in Spanish. I asked him what they were saying and he told me it was about a dog. Later on, he started reading his English written book in Spanish. The day ended emotionally for him, crying and giving directions in bed. My heart hurts knowing he had such a hard day. He mentioned church again and then finally fell asleep. I pray he gets rest tonight. I hope tomorrow is a better day for him. Find your strength, push forward, and know that tomorrow is a brand new. Smiles to all and donut daze!
“Two minutes”, Owen yelled out to me. This is his standard reply when he doesn’t want to do something yet or if he wants to do something longer. He also mixes it up by telling me shorter or longer times than he really understands. “Ten more fifteen minutes”, he says wanting to extend the time as long as possible. He slept until about four before he came to my bed. Once he got there he was full of information and he wanted to turn the earth off again. He heard the birds outside and he opened the curtain. I tried to explain to him that it was still nighttime but it’s all one big day to him. He was happy and that’s what mattered. There were lots of noises but I guess they weren’t bothering him as much since he was in a better mood. Somehow he fell back asleep for a few minutes before we had to get ready for school. When we were getting ready the “two minutes” statement was used numerous times. Even when it is something like school that he loves the process can still be long to get there. He has to go through his routine. Luckily the bus understands and we were almost at the stop when I saw it around the corner. Owen practically ran up the steps to get on the bus. I’m so thankful for how much he loves school. When he got home it was raining. The bus driver was able to pull near us so I could keep Owen out of the puddles. He says, “I love puddles” and boy does he. As soon as we got inside he told me that he sees his teacher on Monday and went through the rest of his schedule for the weekend. I made him shrimp and veggies for dinner and he ate almost all of it. I heard “two more minutes” when he knew it was bedtime. He fell asleep quickly tonight and asking about his adventures for tomorrow. I’m thankful he was in a great mood today. Look for the positive side of life and know that tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
The rollercoaster ride seems to keep on turning, spinning, and going upside down when I least expect it but I guess that’s what’s called life. Owen came to me in the middle of the night but fell right back asleep. Me, not so much. He was all over the bed but mostly he always seems to end up with his head or elbow in my back. He has to be touching me. When we woke to get ready for school I think he was hungry. He asked for breakfast, lunch, and dinner it seemed. I gave him some cereal and milk to drink and before I could even put the food away he was asking for more. I think he is growing once again. He got his tablet and he started asking Siri numerous words in different languages. I told him we needed to get ready and he ran off in the opposite direction. Sometimes it takes a few minutes for him to process what is happening and he had more words he wanted to talk to Siri about. I asked him to get his shoes. I have several that he can pick from. He always runs through them all but still picks the same ones. We got ready and headed to the bus. There was nothing fast about our walk to the bus stop. I’m not exactly fast, to begin with, but then he wanted to “stop at the stop sign” and proceeded to tell me directions. I told him if we didn’t hurry he would miss the bus. That got him going. The bus would wait for us and they would be able to see us walking but I always hate to make them wait. As soon as Owen saw the bus he was ready. He ran up those steps and off they went, knowing “mommy gonna pick me up”. Today was therapy day and he knows his schedule. When I picked him up he went through each of his therapists and what they would be doing. Even though his therapist changes the activities on him and has him work on different exercises he still likes the routine and tries to tell them what they are doing. They told me he had a really great day and I’m so glad that he is learning new skills. We are working on some of the same skills at the same time. He has a hard time associating what he can do at different places. Like he will only eat certain foods at my mom’s and other foods for me. And the rules change but he is overcoming this and starting to branch out. He had a great night. He sang a lot of songs with Siri and listened well to directions, mostly. He’s ready for his school adventure tomorrow and I’m thankful for how much he is growing. Find your inspiration and watch your world grow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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AuthorI'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart. Archives
March 2024
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