I might be the crankier one tonight. Owen had his moments today but he woke in a good mood and even though he wanted me to sit he was also calm about it. He was not excited about getting dressed for school but he was very excited about going to school. When it was time to walk out that door he wanted to head straight to the bus stop. He wanted me to walk a little faster. We stood at the bus stop and he kept himself busy by asking Alexa everything he could think of in numerous languages. Plus, he wanted her to make all kinds of animal noises. He said, “Alexa gorilla noises” almost throwing himself to the ground with his laughter. A lot of times he’ll lean over on me as he laughs. He saw the bus round the corner and he couldn’t wait to get on it. When he came home from school he had one thing on his mind and that was getting back on that bus to go to school tomorrow. He wanted me to change, eat dinner, take a bath, and get up so he could “ride a bus”. He did not stop asking for his teacher and his friends all night. He fell asleep talking about going to see his teacher tomorrow. I talk to him about not having to repeat everything constantly. I get that he wants to know his routine but he will go over the same steps for hours. The problem is the anxiety it brings to him. I remind him to breathe and count. If he states that he is going to see his teacher tomorrow and I don’t immediately respond he gets very upset and if I still don’t respond it can turn into a meltdown almost instantly. And tonight if he wasn’t asking for food he was asking for his teacher or his friends. I know it is so hard for him to understand time or these repetitive behaviors but I still have to try to work through it with him. I want him to understand I support him but I don’t want him upset when I do not respond every single time he says his teacher’s name. I’m thankful he likes school though. Through it all he remained calmer than most nights, only getting frustrated at me and the tv a few times. I call that success. Every day I tell him that we have to work together and he is doing amazing things. I want him to understand that hard work and determination will help him achieve any of his goals. Believe in yourself and the rest will follow. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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Calm, with a side of moodiness, but calm is how I would describe the last few days for Owen. He seems to be maturing with some aspects the last few days. And generally, this means throwing other random skills out the window. We actually slept a little later. Albeit after we woke several times to discuss that we were sleeping later but nonetheless, we slept. He’s getting much better about conversation in the morning. He talks about the steps he needs to take, like going to the bathroom, but he also talks to me. He asked me for a hug before he got out of bed. Then he told me he was “going potty first”. He did not but hey it was on his mind. His bladder doesn’t control his world yet as mine does. When we got ready for church he listened pretty well. He got a little anxious about the color of our pants but he moved on from it. He hardly told me many directions in the car but he was ready to get there. He walked with me to his classroom and off I went to the service. When I picked him up they said he was very calm and almost sleepy. He asked for chicken nuggets and off we went. He was calm for me while we waited in the drive-thru. And no yelling all the way home. It felt like a victory. He ate all of his lunch when we got home and then he sat with me on the couch playing on his tablet. He was showing me different videos and he said, “you’re eating grass”. I didn’t know where this came from. I told him I wasn’t eating grass or anything right at the moment. “Eat the grass”, he continued, “but don’t eat the ladybugs”. I have to guess maybe this is from a book or video about nature he has watched. He spent a long time having conversations with Alexa today, asking her to say everything he could think of in Arabic, the go-to language right now, and animal sounds. When he finished his dinner I had him help me sweep. This did not go over well but I’m trying to work on those life skills. When it was time for his bath he wanted me to set the timer. He said, “bath in two minutes and forty-five seconds”. I set the timer since he was so specific and it was shorter than the ten minutes I was going to give him, which ended up being fifteen anyways. He fell asleep quickly and I was thankful for a pretty calm day. He was ready for riding the bus and seeing his teacher tomorrow. Rejoice in your victories no matter what the size because they truly matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
When you have plans that don’t go according to plan you don’t push the plans. Today was supposed to be bowling day but going out of order is still an adjustment for Owen. I had plans for the morning so he went to visit grandma before what would have been our bowling adventure but once I came to pick him up all he kept saying was “wanna go home no bowling today”. Yesterday all he did was talk about going bowling, this morning before we left he said, “no bowling today”. He was calm all morning, except for the yelling part, until we got in the car to go to grandma’s house. His anxiousness starts and mine doesn’t stop. I know what’s coming as soon as we leave the house. I’m trying to learn to breathe and move forward. Every time we have to stop for a light or a car pulls in front of us Owen screams or makes a comment. I try to distract him but that isn’t always easy. We got to the area that he tells me it’s raining and he said, “it’s raining”. I said it’s not raining. He said, “the sky kept all the rain”. I thought that was pretty brilliant. He was pretty calm for most of the drive until we got really close and then his emotions starting running like a waterfall. He said, “wanna go home let’s go home” but I knew he wanted to go. He did fine once we got there but his mind races with all the words and scenarios we’ve been through. We never made it to the bowling alley but he had a great time with grandma. I think he ate from the minute we got home until it was time to get ready for bed. I’m trying to teach him to look for things he is asking for. He wanted his tablet but he couldn’t see it because there was a book on top of it. I explained to him that he sometimes has to move something to find what he is looking for. He was getting very frustrated and we had to count to ten a couple of times but then he found it. It’s hard to push him or give him instructions when I know he will have a meltdown if I push too much but I also have to work with him on life skills. He dropped one of his games on the floor from the basket it was in but instead of picking it up, he started stepping on it. I’m not sure how he thought this would help but we then went through the process of picking up the pieces. It seemed kind of fitting for the day. Sometimes the pieces of life seem hard or daunting but we have to pick them up and move forward. Never give up because tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Owen woke in a good mood, a concerned mood, but good mood nonetheless. He wanted to make sure he was going to school but he also wanted to make sure I was going to sit. He woke early so we had plenty of time to sit. He got ready with a gusto but again the concerned moments were there. I had him wear green pants today instead of his jeans but his first concern with pants was mine. He insisted mine were black even though I had blue jeans on. From there he did fine. He helped put his clothes on and off we went to the bus stop. He practically ran to it. His excitement when the bus turns the corner is pure gold. He loves going to school and the routine it provides. He may voice his opinion about a thing or two but he loves being there. When he came home the concerned mood continued even though he was still happy. He also wanted to speak very loudly. I’m trying not to think of it as screaming anymore even though, oh yes, he was screaming. I tell him all the time, “dude we don’t need the screaming” to which he promptly replies with more screaming. It’s not as bad until the foot gets to pounding the ground and then the screaming turns into a squealing scream because it generally means a meltdown isn’t far off. We are working through these emotions though and luckily he is learning to calm himself down. I truly think he is right on the edge of a growth spurt because he is eating nonstop it seems. He has also become fascinated with the scale. It is a talking scale so he will stand on it, bend way over to look at the numbers, and then says, “hello”, about the same time it tells him his weight. Most of the time he runs off at that point but occasionally he jumps back on it. I do understand that move. I let him stay up a little later, hoping he may sleep through the night but he fell asleep making “gorilla noises” and I pray for rest for him. His smile and laughter make my heart sing. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
How early is too early to go to bed or maybe how late is too early to wake up I wonder. Maybe I’m still sleeping. Owen woke up at some point and didn’t want to sleep in his “blue bed” until he thought about possibly getting his tablet and then going back to bed. He decided instead we would just be awake. As soon as I got out of bed he told me to sit. Some mornings he needs me to sit on the couch and hold him and sometimes he wants me to sit on the couch but he needs to run from one room to the next expelling his energy as he goes. He was ready for school, eager to get to the bus, but he didn’t want to get dressed. “Sit”, he told me again. I told him if I sat that he couldn’t go see his teacher and his friends. This started him moving to get ready. I put his pants and socks on the couch and went to get dressed. I came back to him putting on his pants on himself, I hadn’t even asked him to try. He had them pulled up and was spinning round and round trying to pull them the rest of the way. I wanted to do the happy dance but I had to help him. He, unfortunately, put them on backward but I was still thrilled beyond words. I truly wish I could have let him wear them backward only because I wanted him to know how huge the victory was and sometimes when I have to redo his clothing it causes him to have a meltdown. I told him how excited and proud I was that he did this all on his own. I helped him turn them around and I explained which direction goes in front. He is getting it. He helped with both his socks and shoes and away we went to the bus stop. He knew today was “therapy day therapy day” and he made sure “mommy going to pick you up me up”. He always says my words and his words. When I picked him up his teacher told me he had a great day and they are working on helping to transition him to winter clothes. He has a hard time with long sleeves or jackets instead of short sleeves. I can also hear a difference in him saying the correct words to describe an outfit. We got to his therapy and he had several great sessions but they said he was a little tired. Sounds about right when he got up before five in the morning. On our way home he was getting anxious. I've tried numerous ways to get him to find peace while we are driving someplace. One of the strategies I’ve worked with him on is to count cars as they pass us. Almost in the exact same place I originally suggested it he said, “let's count cars” and he started counting each one. He did it almost the whole way home. I can tell you I wanted to rejoice right then. I was celebrating that victory and all the other ones from our day. I’m very thankful for his growth today and every day. I tell him that he is moving mountains and can accomplish anything he sets his mind to. Never give up on the miracle yet to happen. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Well, a little more sleep is better than no sleep again so I guess we slept better. Owen was very excited about going to the dentist but he was also upset he was not going to ride the bus to school. I told him he could ride the bus to school tomorrow and that seemed to make him happy. It is very hard to change routines on him but he also really liked going to the dentist. He gets very excited when he goes. He likes talking to the people in the waiting room. He usually goes to adults quicker than he does other kids. I was happy when he walked up to one of the other parents and told him that his shirt was black and it actually was. I explained that was one of the things we were working on, to get him to answer correctly. When we went back to the room Owen knew immediately what he was supposed to do. He sat in the chair and we talked to the assistant. He told her that he had to look in the mirror and he wanted to watch Mickey Mouse. They have TVs on the ceilings for the kids to watch. The doctor came in and he immediately started talking to her. He gets very excited about her counting his teeth. I explained that we were there because he kept telling me he wanted to pull his teeth out and picking at the one area in his mouth. She looked at all of his teeth and said they looked good. She explained that over the next few years he would lose numerous baby teeth and he may be starting to feel them shifting. I felt better having her confirm that he hadn’t knocked any of them loose again by chewing on things like his tablet. We left there and I took him to school. He wanted to make sure “mommy goes bye bye”. He loves school and that is his way of confirming that I will drop him off. He says this to me when I take him to visit his grandparents too. He wants that one on one time with them. When I signed him into school someone took him to his class. He stood there watching me to make sure I was going. It makes my heart happy to know he loves being at school. When he got home from school he was very calm. He wanted to make sure “mommy change” so that he knew we were staying home. I have to change to home clothes instead of jeans. He ate a big dinner, listened well until it was bedtime and then he didn’t want to go to sleep but this is pretty standard now. It seems like he wants to drag his feet every night but is ready for his bath as soon as he hears the water going. He fell asleep quickly in my arms wanting a “big hug” and I was thankful for a good day. Knowing that he is thriving at school makes me very happy. He loves going and he has a great connection with his teacher. Be inspired by the world around you. Know that you can make a difference. Smiles to all and donut daze!
When sleep doesn’t matter you get up at three o’clock in the morning. Owen woke extremely early, got into bed with me, and then decided it was time to get up. This meant the party was on. I suppose when I was his age it was fun to wake up or stay up all night. Now, not so much. He didn’t slow down at all. I told him he could stay up if he went to his bed. He said, “the blue bed” and I told him yes that he had to stay in there hoping he would fall asleep, knowing he wouldn’t. To quote Owen, I think I may have gotten “two more three minute twenty second minute” nap in after that. However, those minutes were interrupted with him talking to me about the games he was playing on his tablet. He likes to lose but he also gets mad because he has lost and has no more lives left. He will even quit some of his lives so he can lose quicker. This goes back to his reaction to liking when something is wrong or expressing the wrong answers. He thrives in those wrong answers and trying to make him realize that if he wins he would be able to play the game longer is a hard concept for him to comprehend. He couldn’t wait to go to school this morning and his early morning didn’t slow him down at all. When he came home from school he was still going strong. He started talking about what his next couple of days held. I had told him that he would be going to the dentist tomorrow and he was confirming it with me as soon as he stepped off the bus. I made him an appointment, even though he had one a couple of months ago. He has been picking at his teeth and then saying, “pull a tooth”. We do not want that again. None of his teeth are loose but they are more crowded as his adult teeth come in. Even though I don’t see a particular reason for him to go to the dentist I still want him to understand he has control of his health care needs and it is good for him to go through these motions. I always make sure he understands that doctors are our friends and they are there to help us. I asked him what his dentist would have him do. He went to the mirror and stood there opening and closing his mouth. He said, “she count teff” and he then counted to ten. He opened his mouth really wide again and said, “Spider-Man teeth”. For some reason that is what he calls his teeth. We’ve talked about his mouth and that he might have to get braces and he has found teeth videos on YouTube. I’m always torn about him watching these videos because this might be where he has gotten the idea about pulling his teeth but it is also good for him to see what the dentist would do for him. He had a great night and for the most part, was calm. He fell asleep quickly and I hope that tonight is the night we make up for some sleep. Happiness comes from seeing my boy smile. Find your joy, share your story, and know that you matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
His laughter, that’s what I hold on to. And him letting me sing with him. That doesn’t always happen. I’m trying to get Owen to understand that his words matter. He will say the opposite about something so he can see the reaction of the person he is talking to or because that is how he has to process it but he doesn’t understand how his words might matter to someone else. He will tell someone they are wearing purple when they are wearing orange. He also likes to call things by different names like “lamp” or “lamb” and screams it until you correct him or he moves on. Some of this is because he is working through different letters and how they sound and some of it is emotions and processing. His newest discussion is about the weather and it always seems to be at the same place when we are in the car. I prepare myself for his words before he has time to even react. He yells out, “it’s raining”. I brace myself for what’s coming next. I try to distract him before we even get to the intersection. If I can’t distract him he goes on, “it’s a it’s a it’s a it’s a”. He wants me to tell him it’s not raining. I do not know what has triggered this new response to this particular intersection but here we are. I try not to cry thinking about it. The screams echo through my mind and I think how hard all of this can be on him. This same intersection has caused hours and hours of meltdowns over being stopped at the light. Those meltdowns aren’t as frequent and I pray we have been able to work through those emotions. When he got home from school today we went to the park with our friends. He couldn’t wait to go but he also had a hard time processing that we were going. “Two more five more minutes”, he said. He had fun once we got there and that’s what matters. I love seeing him actually climbing on the playground equipment. I also get very anxious when he does it because he has no fear or safety concerns but he has come so far and seems like he is climbing everything like a superstar. When we came home he ate a huge dinner and then he sat next to me under a blanket. He needed the comfort and input. He was calm the rest of the evening and I suppose I was too. I said, “you know what” and he said, “I love you”. We have to make every single day count, even if it is just being kind to ourselves. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Calm is nice. It felt like one of those good days. Owen got in my bed at some point but he actually slept a little later than normal and a lot quieter or maybe I was just exhausted. When it was time to get up he said, “gotta go potty let’s try” and off he ran, knowing full well that he said it because he was ready to get up but hey, it works. He had one major thing on his mind and that was “church church church”. Calm keeps running through my mind. He was mostly calm on the way to church, mostly calm on the way home from church, and mostly calm all afternoon. He even listened when I said it was bath time and within a few minutes he started the bedtime routine. When we left church he kept asking for ice cream. The dude likes to order lots of foods that he doesn’t like but I thought let’s try it again. Besides chocolate milk, he likes very few sweet foods and will only eat a bite or two generally. He must have heard them talking about ice cream at church. We got his food and came home. The no screaming thing was amazing. He’s always on edge when he is in the car but at least he was talking with me and not screaming. He ate some of his lunch and then asked for the ice cream. I already knew how it would go but I always like to try foods over and over with him because he may grow to like something and he specifically asked for it. I got him a hot fudge sundae. I first tried only the vanilla ice cream and he would hardly open his lips to even take a bite. I added the hot fudge and he opened his mouth a little further. He had maybe three bites of the tiniest amount he could take off the spoon and ran to play. About thirty minutes later he finished more of his lunch and asked for “more ice cream please”. Shocked, but I was like OK. He had even less than the first time but again he was asking for it and eating it even if it was a smidge. The afternoon flew by and he was still doing great. We played and he sat with me asking lots of questions about words, languages, and songs. I try to quiz him without it sounding like I’m quizzing him. He was ready for school tomorrow and the park with his friend as soon as church was over. He told me he goes to school on Monday to see his friends. That makes this momma very happy. I love that he is including more of his friends in his conversations with me and naming them. I felt a sense of maturity in him today that I hadn’t seen in a while and it felt good. It was one of those good days. Dream big, smile for the world to see it, and share your story and share mine because someone needs to hear it. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Owen woke early early. He had come to my bed at some point but I was too tired to even think about it. I told him it was still nighttime and that we needed to go back to sleep. He was not having it. Every few minutes he was talking to me and if I didn’t respond he was screaming. At this point, I told him that he could stay up but he had to go to his bed and he could take his tablet. This helped but he kept coming to me asking questions. At least he wasn’t screaming though. When I got up he started talking about going to the coffee shop and bowling. This hadn’t been a focus for him in weeks so it made me very happy. He wasn’t going to see his grandparents today because they had other plans but I kept distracting him when he would ask about it. I didn’t want to derail the bowling train. After we ate lunch we got ready to go. He had started the “coffee shop coffee shop” chant. After the last few weeks being hard on him for our weekends, this was a great sound coming from him. We got to the coffee shop and he wanted “ice coffee”. They make a special drink just for him. It was great to see him happy but I also had to remind him not to roll around all over the floor. I try to make him understand that we have to respect the businesses that we visit. When we left there his words went back and forth about going bowling and not going bowling but I could tell this was more to push buttons and express his emotions. He knows how to pull on my heartstrings and also what to say so that he can see me react. The hard thing is keeping myself aware of this. I want him to be able to make choices but I also have to make him understand that we can’t go back and forth constantly on our decisions. He will say one thing but really wants something else. He has a hard time with saying the correct answers to questions because he likes the negative feedback he will get for the response. This started on apps that would give special effects when he would lose a game. He will say the wrong color of the shirt someone is wearing so they will say the right color and that the color he said was wrong. His teacher and therapists are all working on ways with me to help him overcome this. We got to the bowling alley and he was excited to bowl but he was also stuck on talking about not going to the babysitter that he hasn’t been to in years. He is so worried that he is going to a babysitter again. He likes his routine and he wants to know what it is at all times. I was thankful he wanted to bowl. He helped me roll every ball down the lane and he was good about listening to instructions except that he wants to constantly put his fingers in his mouth and I can’t convince him otherwise. We got home and he started talking about “church church church” tomorrow and that he goes to school on Monday. Listening to instructions today was hit or miss but I was very thankful he wanted to go bowling and the coffee shop. He stayed happy all day. Here’s to a pretty great Saturday. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Yesterday is written in stone but tomorrow is full of endless possibilities. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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AuthorI'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart. Archives
April 2024
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