“Good morning Mommy slept upper night,” Owen said. He went through his list of who was going to be at school, therapy, and what everyone was wearing. He then quickly moved on to “mushroom pizza we get a mushroom pizza from Gino’s.” He then asked about his Spider-Man tablet and told me the trash truck took it away. I told him that it hadn’t yet but that it was definitely broken. He didn’t scream but took his other tablet and told me he was going to take it into the bathroom because it was funny. I asked him if that was funny and he said no bathroom for the tablet. All of this and sleeping almost to six has made for a great morning. He scarfed down two waffles and said, “Do it again.” Hungry boy. Sleeping and me didn’t mix last night but I’m sure thankful he did.

He was ready to get out to that bus almost as soon as he woke up. He was so excited to get to school and be with his people. He started listing everyone he wanted to see and what he was going to do at school. We got ready and went to wait for the bus. He was so excited when it turned the corner. He asked his last few questions and then he was off.

When I picked him up from school I told his teacher about a few of the behaviors he has been going through. I know when he is at school he behaves differently than at home but I can tell it has been an interesting couple of weeks for him at school as well. He mentions that when some of his friends are not there and that is hard for him.

He did well at music and he was happy his friend was there. I think he pretty much only wants to sing about farm animals but I’m thankful that he is in a group setting and has to work through taking turns and being patient when it is someone else’s turn.

I asked his teacher when I picked him up if any of them said “have a good one” and she told me the autism mentor does sometimes so that mystery is solved. Then when we left music he went through this whole other scenario. He said, “Thank you so much you are welcome have a good day you as well” and waved as he ended it. Listening to others helps him learn about conversation and how to act in different situations.

On today’s edition of how he wanted his pizza, he asked for half mushrooms and half black olives. He also told me he wanted pepperoni but no green peppers. I had asked him if he wanted to try something new and that was his reply. He told me that when we went to his vision therapy I would order it before we went in and he said, “I would like to order a pizza for a later time.” Oh, how this dude does not forget a thing.

I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed some more that today would go smoothly for him when we went to his vision therapy. In the car, he went through all the exercises he needed to do and said, “Point to the arrows.” He asked many times if he would see everyone and I told him that I wouldn’t know until we got there.

He did great. He was able to do all the exercises. She had him draw arrows on the board with her assisting him but he did them all correctly. He said he was “very disappointed” because her assistant wasn’t there today but the doctor said she would be back next week. He was happy about that. We got our half mushroom and black olive pizza and headed home.

He has been doing so good at carrying it inside until today. He decided it was “funny turn upside down shake.” He turned it on its side and shook it all up. It still tasted good even though the cheese, mushrooms, and black olives were not attached to the crust. He was very happy with himself about shaking it. I gave him a piece that had no toppings and I explained they were all stuck to the box. He looked at it and said, “No mushrooms.” I said that is what happens when you shake the box. He said, “it funny.” I said is it funny and he said, “No, mushrooms please.” I got some off the box and put it on his pizza. He was happy then.

I dream and pray of the best days ever for my sweet baby O. He is learning so much and making huge connections. I want him to find a way to let those expectations he has put on the world aside but I know that is asking a lot from him and we still have to take it one day at a time. I’m thankful for a good day even with the few hiccups. Let your smile shine and it will change the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Sleep, glorious sleep. Thank you Lord for a beautiful morning. Owen then wanted to spread his button pushing wings but we worked through that. He now has learned to scream and cry on his demand but he doesn’t like that I won’t respond to it because as real as they sound I can tell the difference. I tell him that I like his fake laugh better. I have to remember to be cool in the screaming moments and redirect him but redirecting my little brainiac is extremely hard.

He was pretty calm but focused on church and hoping that he could go see his grandma. I told him that I didn’t know what her plans were so we would have to wait and see. I told him he couldn’t ask me again until 7:15 and talked to him more about how to read the clock. He would come every few minutes to look at the clock. He was at first saying the numbers one at a time and then he started reading them together. He is getting it.

I am trying to give him more tasks and have him help me with the dishes. I handed him my mug and he said, “Mug letter M walrus starts with W walrus in the water” and he continued. I love how he is understanding words more and how to spell them. He is making amazing connections to his words as well and is now starting to express his emotions through them.

“Have a good one,” he said before he walked out of the room. I have to get down to the bottom of this one. I’m loving it. He did it multiple times in a row, walking completely out of the room, humming as he did it. It’s like he is acting the part out. I’m not sure who says it or where he stumbled upon it but he has mastered it.

Once he found out he was going to grandma’s house his next mission was to get to church without listening to anything mommy had to say. What seemed like school motion but we somehow made it out the door on time. The whole way there he was talking about his friends and who he wanted to invite to church. I love his enthusiasm for going to church and always inviting others.

I sat in church feeling defeated in so many ways but listening to the words of the songs flowing over me calmed me down. I focus too much on the woulda, coulda, shoulda beens, even though I know that God has been walking on this journey with me even when I feel like I can’t walk one more step he lifts me up and takes that step with me.

When we left church he was talking about who was gone from his life and processing where everyone was. He has a hard time grasping what it all means when he wants to see the people he wants to see. He also started talking about his therapies tomorrow and what everyone would be wearing. He even through his grandma into the mix with her clothing. He said, “Everyone gets to wear what they want to wear.” I try to explain to him that some people have to wear specific things and others like him would rather wear what they want to wear. It is so much for him to process and comprehend.

I dropped him off at his grandma’s house and then came back to pick him up in a couple of hours. He wanted his grandma to drive him home but I didn’t want him to get to the point where he only expected that. He did pretty good on the way home. He tells me all the time to “pay attention” when I am driving especially when he yells it at stoplights but today I told him that he knows I am paying attention and he should say “mommy paid attention at the light” or “good job mommy.” He changed towards the end and is now saying that I paid attention. I’ll take it. He was much calmer by the time we got home.

And now for his next act, he is back to taking his tablet into the bathroom and it was pretty much in the toilet. It was his oldest one and his favorite. We are going backwards on the toilet part of our lives right now. I went to change my clothes and when I went towards the bathroom he came out with it soaking wet. The teenage boy years are upon us. It worked for a little while longer and then completely stopped. I explained it to him but I don’t think he completely grasps that it will no longer charge. And my eye twitching continues.

The rollercoastery moments of life keep happening. When I think I’m ahead I’m still behind but I keep saying my new mantra “worry less and God more.” I pray and pray and pray. I am thankful for the beautiful connections Owen is making but those moments like when I sat crying, trying to explain to him that he had to be careful. I took my glasses off as I cried harder and he wanted me to put them back on my face. I closed them once again to rub them with a tissue and I opened them to see my glasses stretched out in his hands almost ready to snap. I put them on my tear-stained face and didn’t say a word. A few minutes later I told him I loved him and I asked him if he wanted to paint with me. I have to keep moving forward and not dwell in the moments of sadness.

I pray he sleeps again tonight and has an incredible day tomorrow. I want him to be able to go through his entire day and enjoy each moment. He is already talking about his mushroom pizza and I’m glad he has so many things to look forward to. I remind myself to focus on the good stuff. Let yesterday go and remember that tomorrow is a brand new beautiful day. Believe in yourself and the rest will follow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

It was what one might call the perfect night to scream and it didn’t stop for most of the morning. I’m not sure what time he woke up but I know it was before three. He was in a mood and it was interesting. The teenage years are upon us. I know he is trying to process everything but he is not handling it well. He was beyond tired and laughing or screaming at everything. Then he said, “Haha” to anything I would say. I know there have been a lot of things out of routine this week and I’m sure that has a lot to do with it.

“Have a good one mommy,” he said to me with his hand in the air, not waving it but like a gesture of bye as he waited to walk out the room until I said, “Have a good one Owen.” I am not quite sure where this expression came from or the actions associated with it but it was the first calm moment since he woke up in the middle of the night screaming. It was repeated throughout the day and hysterical laughter came after it as the day wore on. Exhaustion was at the top of the list for both of us.

He was supposed to go to his grandma’s house today since she was feeling better but there was no way he was going to be able to go. Between the exhaustion, screaming, and attitude we were staying home. He started talking about his therapist being on “eternity” leave. It must feel like an eternity to him when everyone is not in his routine moments that he needs.

He said, “Figaro on Monday.” It took me a minute and then I realized what he was saying as he moved through the words again. He continued, “Figure it out on Monday.” He went on to say he wanted me to tell his teacher so she would say “Come here for a minute.” The boy has it all figured out how he wants the world to be. Figaro is our cat and I know sometimes words and expressions are interchanged when he is trying to work through new phrases. I think about how far he has come with his words and in expressing himself. He amazes me and I am so thankful for his words.

He was exhausted and sat under a blanket on the couch and then would occasionally get up and run around the house. I am pretty sure this was to keep himself awake. We might have to go back to cups with lids. He found it amusing to shake his cup or run through the house with it. Luckily both times there was only a sip left.

He took an extremely long bath but it helped relax him and there was no screaming for the whole time he was in it. After his bath, he was much calmer. He was very interested in talking about pouring milk all over the world and never sleeping again but otherwise it was better than the morning. He asked if he could go to his grandma’s tomorrow after church and I told him that I hoped all that could happen. He started naming people who could drive us to church.

We are for sure going back to cups with lids. In tonight’s edition of thinking it’s funny to pretend like he is going to pour milk on his head, he spilled some all over his tablet. This of course brought out immediate screams for me to get the hairdryer even though I’ve never once used a hairdryer to ever dry any of his tablets. We got past the screaming and exhausted hysterical belly gut laughs erupted from there calm prevailed once again. We then ate our pimento cheese sandwiches and dreamt of our perfect days ahead.

Some days redirecting him is hard. Exhausted didn’t quite cover how we were both feeling by the end of the day. I pray for sleep tonight. I truly wish I had answers but I always have more questions. I pray every day for more connections and less screaming. It breaks my heart and his screams never leave my soul. I try so hard to keep his world routine but there is nothing routine about life. All I can do is worry less and God more. Remember you are amazing and never forget all the steps you took to get to where you are today. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Focused! Very, very focused on what his future is all about! Four o’clock in the morning is our new go-to hour and Owen was ready to party. He was very excited about all the things that would happen over the next thirty years. I’m not quite sure when adulthood became a priority for him but it is good to see him planning his future. Hyper was the word of the day and we got that covered. Well, one of us did and the other was a little more focused on where and when the sleep train would arrive again.

To say Owen talked a lot this morning and wanted to go outside to wait for the bus was an understatement. He had one thing on his mind and that was to get to school. OK, so he had a lot more on his mind but explaining to him that the bus was not going to be here for several hours was not something he wanted to hear. He was on a mission. And he wanted to know about it all. He was off and he was ready. I put the new silicone ring on his finger and the stick on his other finger. I’m surprised he walked out the door with them and I will be surprised if he gets to school with them. I’m not sure why he was so anxious today but he is ready for his day. He told me several people were out so that might have been on his mind and he wanted them back. He was asking about his friends all night. When his ducks are not in a row they are not where they are supposed to be and they better come back. Hopefully today the ducks are there.

In no time it seemed like he was home again and on today’s focus, we discussed who he kicked and who he sat by. I think one is what he actually did and the other I think he likes to get a reaction from me. He was wound up but also calm. It was an interesting mix for sure. He wanted his snack and to sit. The talking started not much after that and once again continued all night long.

I didn’t confirm with him about tomorrow. He wanted to know if he would be going to his grandma’s house. I tried to explain to him that she was feeling better but we had to wait until morning to make sure he could go. Plus I told him he had to sleep and no screaming in the middle of the night. The screaming has been in full swing again so I told him that we wouldn’t know until morning.

He started discussing the years ahead again. I want him to focus on today but I’m glad he is seeing all the possibilities and I am very proud of him. Each step forward is a big step forward. I pray for sleep for both of us tonight. It has been a long week. I love hearing his laughter. It’s the best part of my day. Let laughter fill your heart and be the melody of your life. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Woke up early, check. Buttons pushed, check. Ready to be a teenager, check. We had all the behaviors covered by five o’clock in the morning. Owen woke about four and was ready to rock n’roll. Today was his physical therapist’s last day before “eternity leave” so I think a lot of those behaviors were because of the unknown of how his routine would go and what he would do while she was gone to have her baby. But a lot of it could also be because he is thirteen and wants to show off his incredibly screaming range at all hours of the night.

He was excited about going to school. He told me yesterday when he came home that his teacher and support staff deserved cupcakes and bananas to make them happy. Who was going to argue with that reasoning? I added them to my grocery list. When he decides he wants to do something if it is in reason I try to implement it or do it because I like to show him that if he wants to do something he can do it.

He was quite talkative this morning and was asking the same questions over and over about his day. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to miss his therapist and he was ready to get on the bus to see who was going to be there today. He has become my social butterfly. He was ready to get out on the porch and since the bus app wasn’t working and it was trash day we got out there early. The “sit down lay down” thing was happening and he didn’t care one bit that it was wet out. It wasn’t long and he was off to school.

When I went to pick him up I took the requested bananas and cupcakes. I also took some of the sensory tools to see if they would help him with the chewing of his fingers. He was quite the happy little camper when I picked him up. He was in a great mood. Very, very repetitive but happy. He talked the entire way there about his teacher, therapists, food, and school tomorrow. He wanted to “lay down” on the steps at his therapy place but decided to “sit down” instead.

We went to get the requested Chick-fil-A after his therapy and then headed home and nothing quite went according to his plan on the way home even though I tried to do everything he wanted me to do. He however did well with all three of his sessions even though he was asking about his therapist leaving the whole time. A few screams, a lot of pay attentions, and be carefuls but we got home.

We ate our dinner and he told me that he wants a parade through the school for his birthday and he wanted to know what he is doing in 2055. He wanted to still be in school then. I told him that if he still wanted to be in school in 2055 he would need to be a teacher or something like that. He asked where and I told him I didn’t know but it sounds like he is very much thinking about his future.

Talking didn’t stop all night. Constantly talking in fact. There is so much going on in that brain of his. Thankfully he was tired though after a very busy day and after our prayers of hoping grandma would feel better and that we would sleep tonight he was out quickly. I pray he sleeps all night and has an amazing day tomorrow. Let each day be a fresh start and with the journey getting brighter each day. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Thankfully Owen slept all night and was mighty proud of it. I fell asleep when he did again and woke up for a few hours but was able to go back to sleep. He was a bit hyper but did well. We worked on breathing techniques hopefully it will help calm him throughout the day. He was ready for school and couldn’t wait to get on that bus.

“Shorts I wear shorts tomorrow Owen wear shorts in October,” he said. He went on to talk about the months ahead. I try to redirect him to focusing on the present time because he will still be so far ahead with his schedule. It is so hard for him to focus on each day. He was doing better about it but has gotten more and more anxious as winter is approaching. I pushed the envelope with wearing pants but I let him pick them out. He talked a lot about them and asked what I would be wearing when he got home. I told him I would be wearing the same thing. He told me he wanted me to change immediately when I got home. I told him I would. I don’t want to get to the point where I am letting him pick out my clothing but since he has been having such a hard time I let him decide between three pairs of pants.

“Lay down lay down” and “sit down sit down” were in full effect as we waited for the bus. I feel like it literally grounds him. He doesn’t like to do a lot of outdoor activities unless of course, he wants to do outdoor activities. I try to take him to the park but he doesn’t always want to go. He was much calmer waiting for the bus than he had been in days. I prayed that it would continue for him throughout the day and he wouldn’t bite his fingers as much. The bus rounded the corner and he was off.

When the dude came home he was full of information about his future and his past. He pulled up the calendar on his tablet and we went through the next few years of when he would be in middle school, high school, and “college school.” He showed me the years he would be in all the schools. He told me how his grandma picked him up from pre-K in pedal pushers and he couldn’t believe she wore them because he said he wanted her in blue pants. He told me he went to the Capitol when he was three and then started talking about all the people he knows from all the places he knows them.

Throughout the night he talked about school. I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. His first response was “Owen” and then he went on to tell me he wanted to be a “musical toad.” I told him he could be a “musical Owen” but I didn’t think he could be a toad. He told me that his teacher now would be his “college school teacher” and he would be with the same group of support staff. He then told me that he was going to be a “grown up teacher” and I said that he would be an amazing teacher. I told him he would be an excellent music teacher or language teacher. And I believe he will be amazing at anything he decides to do.

The rest of the night was a mix of calm and pushing buttons. I could tell with the little gleam in his eyes that it was going to be an interesting night. He wanted to make a scribble monster and he called it “Purple.” I’m thankful for all the amazing conversations and the excitement he had for his years ahead. He’s got his life planned out until 2048 and I know that he is going to do great things in all the years ahead. Be the change you want to see in the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Owen slept all night. I fell asleep when he did last night but then woke up for a while in the middle of the night. He was still processing what happened yesterday but he was working through it. Today we met with our new advisor for our program but I didn’t tell him until this morning. I didn’t want a repeat of last time when he was so upset and up all night that we had to change it to FaceTime so he could see her first. He wanted to make sure he still got to ride the bus home and I told him we would get to meet her after the bus.

He was pretty calm about everything but wanted to be “bump loud” and talk about spitting and hitting. I redirected him to pizza talk and thankfully he was all about it but he derailed my train and went right back to his. We talked about everyone’s clothes. I think he understands but still doesn’t like that he can’t see everyone in what he wants them to be. I think it is hard for him to process how his world looks with every change. He was wondering about his next pizza. I wonder what he will want to try next. My mom suggested a pizza buffet. We got ready and went out to wait for the bus we went. It wasn’t long and he was off to school.

Before he got home the school nurse called me to talk about his fingers. The autism mentor had called her down to the room because Owen was chewing on his hands and had made them bleed. I talked to her for about ten minutes. I wish I knew how to stop him from chewing on his hands. It’s so hard to get him to stop. I have tried so many different items and processes to help redirect him but I know between the stress of clothes, meltdowns, and being out of routine it has been a lot for him and I know he has been chewing them more. I ordered some new sensory products and I pray they help him.

Our new advisor came before Owen got home and it was great for him to meet her. She came out with me to see him come off the bus. This made him very happy. She didn’t stay long after he got home because she didn’t want to cause him any extra stress. It was helpful that she did not wear blue and he commented on her clothes but didn’t get mad about it or have a meltdown. It also helped that I didn’t tell him until this morning but I probably shouldn’t have told him until after school or had his teacher tell him and maybe that would have helped his day. Now that he has met her it will be better for next time I think.

When she left he stood at the window and was so excited. He said, “Tell her bye bye thanks for coming and thanks for going.” He then asked me when she was coming back. I told him I didn’t know because it worked out better that he didn’t know. He asked about her several times but was very calm about it.

He was calm for the rest of the night but he wanted to discuss blood. He loved talking about it and the attention he got at school. That makes it even harder because he is happy about it. I looked at some new products to try for sensory input. I found some chewy rings and different things that might work. I’ve tried so many varieties over the years but nothing seems to work for him. He doesn’t like to hold or leave anything on so it is hard but we will keep trying until we find something that helps him.

Nighttime came and he started talking about when he would go back to school next year. He knew he would be on summer break in June 2026 and back to school in August 2026. He has had a rough couple of weeks emotionally but he has also made incredible progress. It makes me sad but I am trying to take that energy and convert it to answers. He grew, I grew, the world grew, but it was all exhausting. One day at a time and make each day count. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Today wore me out. But there was so much progress. Owen slept all night and I fell asleep when he did. I woke in the middle of the night for a few hours but then we both slept until six. He may have slept later if he hadn’t heard me. He asked about his mushroom and olive pizza and we talked about clothes. He didn’t want to miss his appointments for the day. He said, “People going to wear what they want to wear mommy wear a dress she wear what she want to wear.” And oh how loud those words ring.

He told me that we had to paint a church. Then he told me he wanted to “cut the paper with scissors,” paint a birdie house, and make a scribble monster. I was excited about all of these. We haven’t painted another scribble monster in a week or more so I am glad he is thinking about them. He was sitting on the couch strumming his ukulele while watching videos and moving through them when he wanted to. It’s amazing how he does it.

We got ready for the bus. I tried to keep him as calm and on schedule as possible so we would get to do all his things today. We went out to wait for the bus and he talked again about going to his therapies and what his expectations were for what everyone was wearing. This is hard to stay ahead of when he expects certain things.

I picked him up from school and his teacher said he had a good day. We headed to his music therapy. His therapist said he did good. His friend was there for their session and they had a good time. Lots of singing and she said they worked well together. On the way home he was very calm. He talked about things I don’t like but he said he knows I don’t like it when he talks about being mean to people. He said Sorry Mommy. I know he wants attention by talking about spitting and licking but he is also trying to work through behaviors.

He was so excited about going today since we didn’t go last week because of the meltdown he had over my clothes. He has been working through it all week and knew what the doctor would be wearing but he thought her assistant would be wearing a dress. She was wearing black pants and a flowered top. He walked back with her but I could tell he was immediately upset when he saw her. The tears started. He screamed a little, pulled on her pants, and hit her. She handled it beautifully and so did his doctor. She went out of the room. He was able to do a couple of things and then started talking about her being too upset. He wanted to see her. He was able to go with the doctor and talk with her. He told her what he wanted her to wear and that he was upset. They came back to the room. He cried a little bit off and on but was able to do more of the exercises. He talked about it again and then when it was time to go he asked her to walk out to the car with him.

I am so thankful for people who understand and are so compassionate with him and me. He talked to them and was at least relatively calm. He cried several times on the way home but was excited about his pizza. He ate both the mushroom and green olives. I thought I would try green olives since they taste a little salty on pizza and would mask the taste more even though he asked for it. He ate it all.

He kept talking to me about being upset and how many languages he can be mean in but I told him that he wasn’t mean he just wasn’t able to handle when things don’t live up to his expectations. I told him I’m sure there is more to it but mommy didn’t know what he was feeling. He then said it was mean to hit her. Big emotions, big time hard, but big time growth.

They could see how big a deal it was and handled it beautifully. I was crying when we left and he said, “Mommy sad.” I told him that I was proud of him and that I knew it was a lot for him to process but he was able to express his emotions. I talked to him on the way home about how I understood he was upset but people get to choose what they want to wear like he chose his shorts this morning. I also reminded him that there are so many people who don’t get to choose what they can wear. It’s all so much for him to process and for me to process. Plus how to help him through it. The way he holds onto words also makes every word crucial but I don’t always get it right. One day at a time and lots of prayers got us here.

I prayed for calm as he went to sleep and that he would sleep all night. I was thankful for his growth and everything he worked through today. And I thanked God for putting people in our lives who help us grow and are so incredibly compassionate. Thank you God for a good, good day, thank you God in every way. Through hard days we can have our biggest growth. Let today be your guide for an amazing tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Owen woke around two and that was that. I slept when he wasn’t having his moments. It was interesting. In the middle of the night yes seems to mean no to him and no means scream louder but he was calmer as the morning went on and very ready for an incredible day. I’m trying to stay focused on the good stuff.

He asked me at two o’clock in the morning if we were going to church. Yes was my reply. There was a scream with it. I told him to go back to bed. Tablet, bed, church, scream, seemed to be the order but I think he mixed it up a little with asking if our friend was going with us. The answer was yes but the screams kept coming. I told him that he could go back to bed at any point with his tablet and let me go back to sleep so he could go to church. This also got a scream. I was cranky and more than tired by the time the sun rose but we had big plans and we’re heading to church.

He was excited for his day and I tried to keep it moving forward. He had a lot on his mind. He played his ukulele a lot this morning and was singing all on his own. That makes my heart sing. He used to only do it when I was in the room so to hear him pick up his ukulele and play whatever he wants is wonderful.

We got ready and we picked up our friend for church. He was so excited to have her with us and to go to our church. He loves inviting people and that makes my heart full. We went to Cracker Barrel afterwards and he did great. He ate almost all of his blueberry pancakes and ate all three strips of bacon. He told the waitress, “I want chocolate milk please.” I also had him tell her he wanted blueberry pancakes. When she asked about bacon he said yes. He did a great job at lunch and when he was getting loud or hyper our friend sang the ABC song quietly right to him and he stopped what he was doing to listen. She is so incredible with him. We took her home and they were “sitting in the trees” as he calls it before we left.

We came home and I could tell he was exhausted. He was mostly calm for the rest of the evening and only had a few moments that didn’t go according to plan. He is extremely excited for his week ahead and I am thankful. I pray he sleeps tonight and has a great week ahead. Let the sunshine remind you of the greatness of the day. Never give up on the hope for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Owen slept all night and I only woke up once. He was having a pretty good morning with just a side of pushing my buttons. He was laughing a lot but at this point, he was listening to me and wanted to talk about his days ahead. I told him last night he was not going to see his grandma today and I was thankful that he handled it well.

The recurring theme for the day was his talking about things like hitting, kicking, spitting, and licking. He told me he could say them in four languages. I told him we do not need to talk about those things in any language. This is when I ask the question is it Owen, age, or autism? And then I ask does he want to talk about these things because he likes to watch how I respond or are there other reasons? He hardly does any of the actions but he likes to talk about them constantly.

He wanted me to play one of his video games. Every time I would get close to winning he would push something. I try to explain to him that sometimes I look at the board because I have to “figure it out” so I can win the board. Later in the day he kept saying “Figaro to win.” At first, I didn’t realize what he was trying to say and then I realized he thought I was talking about our cat Figaro and he was winning the board.

A little screaming turned into a lot of random screaming. Some were happy screams, some were because everything was way too much, and some were directed right at me. And he wanted to sit two feet from me most of the day. It was a lot of emotions for both of us.

He could tell I was upset with his screaming. He told me that “he was funny Owen.” I said not when you are screaming at me. He said, “When he answers incorrectly” he is funny. I said, Are you funny when you say things incorrectly? He said, “boing” replying with the noise he likes to hear from one of his learning apps when he answers incorrectly. I told him that he is very funny but not when he screams or answers incorrectly on purpose. I also told him that it sounded like he knew the difference. I think he does he just doesn’t know how to transition through it to be joking about something and to explain it.

He kept telling me that I was frowning. I asked him if he knew why I was frowning and he said, “No screaming happy mommy.” He knew I was upset and he started talking about one of his favorite games and asking me to tell him which one I liked. He likes to talk about the animals with me and it felt like he was trying to redirect himself and make me happy.

Our friend is going to church with us tomorrow so he is very excited about that. He can’t wait to pick her up and to go out to lunch after church. Food has become an important topic of conversation for him so we talked about where he wants to go tomorrow and that he wants mushroom or olive or both on his pizza for Monday. He will probably want to go to “cracker burial” again tomorrow but we will see.

He went to bed excited about church. He prayed that we would sleep tonight and go to the bathroom tomorrow. I never know what our prayers will be about but I know that God understands it all. It was a very long emotional day but I’m thankful that I got to witness the growth in both of us. Let the long days go and remember there are still many great days ahead. Smiles to all and donut daze!