I slept until about four but thankfully I fell back asleep and slept until a little after five. It wasn’t long until Owen came around the corner and started talking to me about his day. I love mornings when he wants to talk about everything before he even asks for his tablet. He was very calm as he went through all his questions.

We had a good morning full of conversations and only a few moments where he was upset or pushing buttons. He always asks me to buy coins, outfits, or accessories for games he is playing on his tablet but I tell him he has to play to win. Plus, when he is playing a game he doesn’t always finish it and sometimes closes out the game right in the middle or just to close all the lives. He thinks it’s funny but I try to get him to understand that is why I will never spend money on it.

He was off to school and handled it all beautifully. He has adjusted to wearing jeans and pants even though he still asks if he can wear shorts every day. When I picked him up from school his teacher said he had a good day after a few minor moments. His screaming is becoming more of a way for him to voice his opinion about everything and it is something that we work on constantly.

I tell him all the time we have to be nice to people and yelling at them is not something we should do. The teenage years are fast approaching and I don’t want this to be a constant as he gets older so I want him to focus on how to handle his emotions.

We were off to therapy. We talked on the way there about enjoying himself and not concentrating on what they were wearing. I told him that if he screamed at them or tried to hit them he would not be able to come back next week. I reminded him that he was amazing and he needed to focus his energy on the fun they were going to have. I want him to understand that I know it is hard for him when he is expecting them to wear certain things but he still can’t let that affect the fun they should be having and what he is learning.

Thankfully he did great today. There were a couple of things but he moved on. His one therapist talked to him about what she would be wearing next week so he would be prepared it wasn’t what he wanted. We will work on that over the next week so he remembers. I told him I was proud of him.

On the way home he yelled at me. I reminded him we have to be kind to each other. A few minutes later he said, “I’m sorry Mommy no yelling.” I keep reminding him that he is amazing and he can do anything if he sets his mind to it.

He was very calm all night long. I see incredible growth in him and I pray that he will continue to focus more on having fun than being concerned about blue pants. I love hearing him laugh and that brings joy to my heart. The story of tomorrow has not been written. It can be the most beautiful story you have ever been a part of. Make tomorrow matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I woke a little after four but had slept all night until that point. I wish I could have fallen back asleep but it wasn’t something that happened. I had to start making noise close to seven to wake up Owen. I was glad he slept late because he needed the sleep.

We had a little bit of time before we had to get ready. I wanted to let him settle into his day before we had to go wait for the bus. He came to sit with me and he laughed about his tablet. His laugh gets me every time. I told him we had to start getting dressed and he asked for five more minutes. I couldn’t resist the cuddles.

We went out to wait for the bus and he told me “Walk in the street.” I asked him what he had to do first and he said, “Look for cars.” It’s still not a process he can do on his own or will even understand to watch for them but he is getting it.

Owen was upset as soon as he got off the bus and almost started crying because there was a car parked in front of our house. It’s a public street so there is nothing wrong with someone parking there but for him this is hard. There isn’t supposed to be a car there. He halfheartedly ran down the street to watch the bus drive away but he quickly turned back to me before he got to his usual spot. I was able to get him inside and thankfully the car drove away when he looked out the window and before he had a huge meltdown. Something like this can throw his entire night off.

He was able to calm down and move forward. He spent the evening talking about his tablet, playing his harmonica, and making sure about his schedule ahead. He is hoping that he will get to see his friend again soon. I’m hoping he has another great night of sleep and I do too. I’m thankful for how much he loves music because it goes straight to my heart. Focus on the good stuff and let everything else wash away. Smiles to all and donut daze!

We’ve been up since around three-ish. Some really loud noises woke us up. I’m assuming that’s what woke Owen too. He was happy the minute he woke up and was very talkative.

He kept coming to me and showing me his tablet. He wanted me to see different videos he was watching and then he wanted me to play his games with him. He was describing the cartoon animals on the screen in great detail. It always makes me happy to hear his words. I still wait for the day he can explain to me more about his emotions, hopes, and dreams.

I had put his headphones on the table for him but he didn’t put them on right away. We were getting ready for the bus and I told him to go grab his headphones. He couldn’t find them but we had to get out to the bus. I thought maybe he moved them somewhere else and we didn’t have time to look for them. When I came back in they were on the tablet but he didn’t see them because he put his toy over them and it all blended together.

He has a hard time seeing things when they are right in front of him if it is not completely obvious and still sometimes that is hard for him. Giving him directions is something that is still a work in progress but he has come so far. If I say to him “Go to the living room and look on the shelf” he may run to his bedroom or sit on the couch. It is too much for him to process. It can also upset him or send him into a meltdown when he does not understand the steps.

He was very calm and talkative all night. He was talking about his days ahead still but handling everything calmly. I’m trying to make him answer in more complete sentences or at least more words than saying one thing repetitively and expecting me to answer each time. He is getting better with being more descriptive and I can tell they are working with him at school on this.

It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep. He was practically falling asleep during his bath. I pray for a better night's sleep for both of us. His laughter was contagious today and his smile was even brighter. Enjoy the little things and know they will make your heart the happiest. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I think I slept all night. I may have woken up once but from after ten to almost five I slept. I felt so much better and my stomach wasn’t a rocket ship ready for launch. Owen woke up at five too and he was mostly calm. It was a great start to our day.

He was very focused on his day and excited that his grandma was picking him up. He asked me if he could have another Halloween. I told him he has a party at school on Friday but he didn’t want to hear about that. He gets overwhelmed by information especially when it is not something he can focus on even though he wants another Halloween. We went out to meet the bus and off he went to school.

My mom told me he did well at music therapy. He was with another child in their session. I know that it will help with his social skills and taking turns. She brought him to me for his vision therapy. To say he was a little amped up at his vision therapy may be an understatement. He was ok but he was focused on chewing gum so he couldn’t focus on all the exercises. He wants her to be constantly chewing gum and he wants to talk about the color. He randomly asks people that he sees for gum and if they are chewing it.

When we came home he was very focused on the day’s events, the week ahead’s schedule, and to make sure he would see his teacher in August. I informed him that we were still in October but he still wanted to know about August. He calmed down after a while and sleep came quickly after a few false starts.

I had my follow-up appointment with my surgeon and I will have my surgery sometime in December. I am ready for the next steps and I know God is walking with me every step of the way. I told Owen about my appointment and he said the medicine in my “medicine box” would make me better. And I believe it will. His smile is my best medicine. Today is made to be a stepping stone for tomorrow. Learn from yesterday, grow today, and shine tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I slept much better last night even though I woke up a couple of times. Owen heard me and once again declared he “slept all night.” I had tried to be quiet but it was well after five so I figured he would be up soon.

He was in a great mood. He wanted to talk about his days ahead. He was super excited about trunk or treat today and he kept asking for his grandma to take him to music therapy tomorrow. The boy was on a mission. I told him yesterday that we wouldn’t see his friend when we went to the event. They weren’t going to be able to come until later in the day. By then the crowd would be too hard for Owen so hopefully, we will be able to go to the park with them soon.

They had given me the full chemo infusion during my last treatment. In general, I’m feeling pretty good but my stomach is randomly rebelling when I least expect it. Owen has been talking about my hair and how I look like a baby. He will rub my head and tell me that I need my medicine to get better. He reminds me to take it in my “medicine box” and has been very calm about all of it. He said again that my hair will grow back in February. I’m not sure how he decided that month but I’m holding it close to my heart. God’s hands are wrapped around us and I see it every day in our lives.

We left for church and Owen talked about his friend all the way there. He is hoping he can come one day so he can ride on the elevator with him to his class. As we walked through the lobby he started trying to recruit people to ride down on the elevator with him. He got a couple of people to go with us and off to his class we went. After church, we came home to eat lunch before we went back for the trunk or treat.

He listened so well as we got ready to go to the event. We got there very early because I like to give him time to process it all. We walked down by the fire pit and that was very calming for him. He immediately went to “lay down lay down” on the top of the table. We sat there for a few minutes and then the two teenagers that were going to walk Owen around came to meet with us.

I told them several things that he liked to do but he may be too overwhelmed to do them and want to just look. He doesn’t eat very many sweets so going to all the cars was not something that would interest him. They headed back to the inflatables and I told them he would be ready to leave within about 45 minutes. If he stays too much longer it becomes harder for him to cope and it’s all too much. They brought him back when he asked for me. They were great with him and even walked us to our car.

He was so happy when we got home and he was extremely calm all night. I’m thankful for a good day and the people that love my son. Accept each other for being an amazing, different, unique individual, and love with all your heart. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Owen slept until after five and then proudly said he “slept all night” changing his words once again. The progress with his words is exciting to me. He couldn’t wait to see his grandma and talked about his days ahead. He mentioned his best friend numerous times and then off he ran to play on his tablet, yelling over his shoulder for some “chocolate milk cereal sausage dogs please.” And that’s how quickly he is becoming a teenager.

Three o’clock in the morning needs to stop being so early. I slept better than the night before but I was still up way too early. I felt better than the night before but tired was still the name of the game. My stomach felt calmer than the last two days though so I was happy about that.

He painted a pumpkin for his grandma and he was excited to do it. He isn’t always excited about crafts but he has been working on them more at school and when I asked him to do it he did it without hesitation. I only had to help him a little with the placement of everything. He quickly painted the word “boo” and a ghost.

After second breakfast we were off to his grandma’s house. When we were driving there he got upset at a light. I told him to sing Old MacDonald. He started singing it in Spanish. He amazes me with how much he has stored in his brain. He had a great time with his grandma and then went on a little adventure. He is already planning his week ahead and when he wants to see her.

He told me that his therapists, teacher, and friends would be happy if he was kind to them. He is thinking all of this through and I can see how he is processing it all. He said, “Kind means no hitting.” My heart rejoiced for the connection. I know it is a lot for him to handle while he is in these moments but for him to be aware that hitting is wrong is a big step for him and I’m glad he is continuing to talk about it.

He was very calm for the rest of the night. He repeated a few things but I could redirect him. He even asked me to cut his toenail before he went to bed. I’m always thankful when he can tell me a need that he has. The littlest of things lead to the hugest of victories. Celebrate each and every one of your victories no matter how big or small they actually are. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Today felt like a rollercoaster ride. The morning started off great, then Owen had a rocky ride to school, and came home happy. My day was the same. My heart always aches when my sweet baby O is hurting.

He slept until five, claiming once again he had “slept upper night” and then started talking about his expectations for the day before he even got his tablet. He was calm and happy. Sunday was a big topic for discussion and he sure hopes his best friend comes to the trunk or treat. He moved on to school and seeing his grandma tomorrow. I was up by two and couldn’t go back to sleep but I was feeling ok once I got up.

We went out to wait for the bus and once again he wanted to “lay down lay down” on the ground before the bus got here. He was in such a good mood. He had to ask a couple of times about his friend before he got on the bus but he was ready to get to school.

The bus aide let me know that Owen was upset because they got stuck in traffic. He cannot handle the traffic especially when it is at a complete stop. Tears flow as I think about all his emotions and it’s hard for me to even write. He couldn’t process it all and was kicking and screaming amongst other things. I can’t even process it all because my heart aches for my sweet baby O. I’m thankful for an aide who handled it all so well. She wasn’t upset with him and tried to help calm him. She just wanted me to know what had happened. When my son goes off to school I am always thankful for the people who give their all to care for him and treat him with respect and understanding.

When he came home and got off the bus he raced to wait in his spot for the bus to honk at him. He then came running back to me. I told him I was sorry he had a rough morning on the bus and that he was upset. He gave me a big, long hug and then put his forehead down for me to kiss it. He let go and did it two more times before we walked inside. I was once again moved by all the emotions he was showing and how he processed it all.

He was calm the rest of the night. He would occasionally talk about his days ahead but he did scream about them. I know today was emotional but I can see incredible progress. He is ready to get this weekend going and I pray he sleeps through the night. Cherish the smiles from those you hold close to your heart and let those smiles be your guide for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I thought I knew what our first conversation would be when Owen woke up and he did not disappoint. He was once again so excited about the possibility that his best friend would be at our church’s trunk or treat that he barely made it until five in the morning before he came to discuss it with me. He grabbed his tablet and he surprisingly went back to bed before I said anything else and I took advantage of a little more sleep for me.

Once I got up he told me to go back to the “white bed.” I told him that I had to go to the bathroom and get him some milk and cereal before I went back to sit down. I think about all the unwritten rules I follow every day to keep our day flowing without as many meltdowns. Some days nothing seems to bother him but other days my turning on a light will have him screaming for hours. He can’t handle sudden changes or the differences that come with the changes he quickly sees. I can only imagine what goes on in his body to influence these changes and how screaming for hours can affect him.

We went outside to wait for the bus in plenty of time but he had to “lay down lay down” before we made it across the street. He quickly plopped himself down on the sidewalk and laid all the way down. He loves doing this to feel the earth under him. He will stay for a few moments and then get up, sometimes only moving a few inches and doing it again. He always gets up much calmer and focused. It helps to calm him in those sensory overload moments. Thankfully the bus pulled up right after he got up and he got on the bus relatively quickly and off they went to school.

I picked him up from school for his therapy sessions. I talked to his teacher for a few minutes before we left and she suggested a new strategy to help with Owen’s repetitive words. I’m beyond thankful for a teacher and support staff that give their all to my son and all the other kids.

On the way to therapy, we discussed many things but he told me that he had to be nice to his therapists and to tell them he was sorry when he was mean or screamed at them. There are so many connections he is making and it is a huge step for him to be able to express these words and emotions. I remind him that we need to always show kindness and grace and this is truly the next step to achieving it.

When we were waiting for his therapist he told me “Mommy grow hair real soon.” He then said that I had to finish getting “medicine in my medicine box.”I showed it to him and he told me I would grow my hair back in February. I loved how he thought through it all and it showed another great step of progress.

Thankfully he had two good sessions. Both therapists said that he talked a lot about what he needed to talk about but they were able to get through all the exercises. This in itself was another huge step forward especially when he had his best friend on his mind.

He was calm for most of the night until bedtime came and then it was once again up and down until he finally stayed in bed. The conversation went on between his teacher and his best friend. I can say it is a lot for me to process but boy, oh boy does my sweet baby O love his people with all his heart and he doesn’t want to miss a thing.

I love seeing the progress Owen has made and I know he is going to keep climbing every mountain in front of him. Some days the road never feels like it will stop turning and twisting but the sun that shines on the curves of life dries the rain and gives us our brand new day. Treasure the days that felt the hardest because they allow us to embrace the newness of tomorrow. Have hope in the change. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Anyone can probably guess what the big discussion of the morning was. Owen proudly came to me and said he “slept upper night.” He immediately started talking about seeing his friend at the park and church. He truly hopes they can come.

The morning flew by with his pure delight still shining from seeing his friend on Monday. He talked about his teacher and wanted to tell her that his friend was going to trunk or treat with him. I tried to explain that we asked them to come but won’t know it until the event. That’s hard to explain to him though. We got ready and went out to wait for the bus. He got on the bus only after mentioning that he wanted his friend with him on Sunday about ten times.

I felt much better than I did yesterday even though I was still tired. Food has been different for me this time but I have been able to eat and drink. I rested again throughout the day because I knew we were going to be going out with our friends for dinner so Owen could see them.

When he came home and got off the bus I told him that our friends were picking us up and we were going out to dinner. I could barely get Owen inside. I knew not to tell him this morning because he would have not been able to concentrate especially since he already had his other friend on his mind but I didn’t think about waiting until he actually got inside the house to tell him. We had about an hour until they came and he used every bit of it to let me know we were going to see our friends.

I am always so thankful to see the pure love that he shares with his people. It’s hard for him to express it but I can sure see it. When we were at dinner he once again could barely handle it he was so happy. He gets overwhelmed by all the emotions and can’t remain calm or even look at someone that he is truly wanting to be with. It is complete sensory overload for him and his body has to calm down enough to even process it all. He kept repeating the same words about going to trunk or treat at our church, once again reiterating that he hoped Miles would be there. My emotions get me because I want him to be in the moment and enjoy who he is with but this is another part of how he processes it all.

He was yelling again on the car ride home. We were with people who love us dearly and have been there for us through so much but it’s still hard for my mind to settle because I once again want him to be able to concentrate. He’s come so far, he’s made incredible strides, and I know that he will do and has already done amazing things.

When we got home he asked over and over when he would see them again. Before we left for the restaurant he wanted to make sure he knew all the steps of what we were doing and when we would get home. This is progress and both of these moments make me know how precious life is. We have to believe in the hope of tomorrow.

Our night by no means was quiet. He quickly went back and forth between school, therapy, trunk or treat, and our dinner tonight. He got out of bed more times than I can count, with the sleepiest of eyes, asking one more time if he would see his friends again soon. Life can be chaotic but oh how beautiful it is when you love the world so. Do not let the words from others be your defeat before you even begin. Believe in yourself and the rest will follow. You are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Owen slept all night and came to me wanting to talk about his best friend. He got his tablet and I got up to get him some milk and cereal. He started talking about being kind to people so he could see them. He can’t wait to see his friend again and he wants to go to the park real soon.

He was so excited to talk about his friend. All morning long he would come to sit with me talking about everywhere he wanted to go together. I love how happy he is. We got ready and went to the bus. His calmness remained even though he could hardly contain himself about seeing his best friend yesterday.

I didn’t sleep as great last night and woke up with a headache. The change in the weather had my head pounding most of the day. Thankfully I was able to eat and drink even though nothing sounded good. I didn’t push myself at all today since yesterday was so busy for us.

His teacher let me know that he had talked about his friend at school today. I figured he would. When he got home we talked about his friend hopefully being with him at school next year. He kept telling me he hoped it would be next week. His teacher will have her work cut out for her because he will be looking for his best friend to come soon.

He was so incredibly calm all night. He said, “We don’t get upset with people because of their clothes” and then he leaned forward to let me kiss the top of his head. He had a hard time with the word “upset” but he repeated this so many times and then got the right word. He added that we have to be nice to people and we don’t be mean. Seeing his friend last night truly made his day and is already helping him with many connections.

The night went quickly and there wasn’t a lot of time that we didn’t discuss his best friend. True friendship is something to hold close to your heart. Each day is a gift and my sweet baby O is a pure treasure. I’m thankful for all the connections and how much he has grown. Let today be your guide for a beautiful tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!