Four o’clock in the morning seems to be the new wake-up time. Owen came to me asking about when he was going to his grandma’s house. He wanted to make sure he was not going to miss it. I let him know that he didn’t sleep all night and he should go back to bed. He asked for his tablet. At this point, I knew there was no going back to sleep but I thought I would try.

He kept asking me when he was going to go to grandma’s house. I took this opportunity to go over the clock with him. I am trying to get him to read the clock and I’m hoping the more connections he can make to the clock maybe it will help him with his routine. He started reading the time and then I would ask him how much longer until we left. He was completely able to process how much time was left but I kept telling him the hours.

We got ready to go and he started telling me which way I was going. I reminded him that it was my turn and that it would be my turn several more times because he yelled at me the last time we went. He handled it like a champ.

He had a great time with his grandma. I picked up a late lunch and I spent several hours there. He was fine with this because I didn’t stay when I first dropped him off. My mom and I worked on a puzzle that we started on Thanksgiving. Owen got stuck on several phrases he couldn’t get past but he was communicating with us and telling us numerous things he wanted us to know.

When we got home he was showing me a video of a building near us that he likes. He saw a shadow across the front from a light post near the building and he said he thought it was broken. I told him it was a shadow and I showed him where it came from. I love his thought process for this. He then kept watching the video and he said, “Watch where I go for a ride.” He showed me where it was going and he told me that he wanted grandma to take him next week.

He was pretty calm the rest of the night. We talked about church and that he wants to go. I explained to him that we should be going if he sleeps all night. He has been waking up so early that I told him we would stay home if he got up early. I also told him it depended on the weather. We may get snow or ice so when he got ready for bed he told me that he needed to sleep and we couldn’t go if it was icy. This felt like huge progress.

He sat with me in the white bed watching a movie on his tablet before bed. I love these moments where he is calm and wants to share this time with me. He is looking forward to getting back to school. I’m thankful and even though it has been emotional for him he has made a lot of connections during this time off. Be bold, be beautiful, be you. You are amazing and you can change the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

“Upper night not upper night slept upper night,” Owen said when he came to get his tablet before it was even four o’clock in the morning. I didn’t even try to convince him to go back to bed without his tablet. I told him that it was still nighttime and he started going back and forth if he was up all night or not. I liked that he was getting closer to saying the words correctly though.

Food was not a priority today but rather a slow buffet all day it seemed. He ate cereal for breakfast and didn’t want anything else until he decided “chicken and honey mustard” would be great around ten. I offered numerous other things but he stuck with his choice and really if you’ve been up since before four then ten in the morning is truly more like lunchtime. He ate all of his chicken and then we moved on to snacks.

Very early in the morning, he asked about going to the park. It was cold and light snow fell off and on all day. I decided that today was a good day to stay home since we have been going every day since his break. After he asked the first time he didn’t ask again. He was very calm except for the repetitive questions so I wasn’t going to rock the boat.

We played lots of games today and he was happy to show me his new Shark Bite game but I’m still not allowed to play it. He wants me to reset it but he doesn’t want me to pull any of the fish out. He technically doesn’t like to get bit by it either. He wants to hold the mouth open by finding which one is going to make it close. I think it is pretty clever how he is doing it.

He kept asking me if his best friend would be with him at school in August. He probably easily asked me one hundred times. I redirected him as much as possible but he will still ask until he gets an answer he wants. I told him I hope so. He also asked when he was going to see his elementary school teacher and I told him he was in middle school now. He then told me he would see his teacher on Monday. Breaks are hard for him and I’m thankful that he will get back to his “row-teen” on Monday.

Bedtime was met with more questions about when he would see his grandma and he knew he had to “sleep upper night” so he could go. I’m glad he had a calm day and was very interactive with me. Hopefully, sleep will come for both of us. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Make it the best day ever. Believe in change, believe in yourself, and know that you can make a difference in the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I’m not sure what time Owen woke up but it was definitely before three. The first time he woke before midnight and wanted to check about his day ahead. Then the next time he was very quiet, got his tablet, and sat on the couch. I got a little more sleep and then Thanksgiving began.

When I got up the breakfast request came in. It’s funny he generally requests foods he doesn’t want or we don’t have and then he gets to the lists of things he does want. Cereal was his first request after the list of things he didn’t want and then he decided he wanted pancakes.

He told me he wasn’t going to his grandma’s house today because he was going Saturday. I know that is why he was up so early. He was anxious about me being there at the same time as him. I reminded him this was a special occasion and that he would be going on Saturday to spend time with her. I asked him again if he wanted to go to grandma’s and he said yes.

We got ready and headed out the door. I could tell he was still anxious but he was handling it much better. He got in the car and started screaming about it being his turn. I reminded him that it was my turn and he kept screaming. I pulled over and told him we would go home if he didn’t stop screaming at me. He said grandma’s house and there was not one more scream from him.

We got to grandma’s house and he immediately started talking about “Mommy go bye-bye.” I reminded him it was a holiday and I would be staying the whole time. He talked to his grandma about it as well and then that was that. He would occasionally mention it but he did incredibly well. He was happy to be playing on his grandma’s tablet and computer. He even ate several of the foods my mom prepared and he ate at least one bite of everything. I always make him try new things or revisit foods he didn’t like before to see if he likes them now and because of this he ate potatoes that he doesn’t normally like.

When we were ready to go he said, “Set the timer” because he wanted to stay longer. I let him know that I was very proud of him for being able to be there with me the whole time. He had a few little behavioral issues like licking my head and the table but we reminded him that he had to be kind and this wasn’t something we did. He stopped and told me “Sorry Mommy.”

We got home and he reminded me that he was going to grandma’s house on Saturday without me. I told him that he was right. And then he asked for shrimp for dinner. I fixed his shrimp and he devoured it all. He was calm for the rest of the night.

I’m thankful for a good day and time to spend with my family. Owen handled it like a champ and hopefully, each time we do this it will get easier for him. He laughed a lot today and that is exactly what this momma needed to hear. Celebrate all your victories. The littlest of victories can lead to the hugest of successes. Smiles to all and donut daze!

We slept all night. I only woke up once which felt like a victory. Owen was very calm and happy again. He started laughing as soon as he woke up. I love it when he is in a good mood.

The breakfast requests started.
He said he wanted to go to the park but I knew we would have to see what he had to say as the morning went on. I asked if her friends wanted to meet us to see Santa and go to the park if he decided to go. They agreed to see Santa in the afternoon.

We had a great morning with him laughing, and we played lots of games. He asked a lot about what we were doing tomorrow and if we were going to grandma’s house. I knew he would be questioning me being there with him instead of dropping him off. He requested shrimp for his lunch. He ate it all and wanted more.

We got ready and we went to meet our friends to see Santa. When we got to the store, we went inside to wait for our friends and we saw some people we knew from church. Owen was extremely excited to be seeing them and told them happy Thanksgiving.

Our friends got there and we went to see Santa. We didn’t have to wait and we were able to see Santa right away. Owen was fascinated by the fake snow and kept wanting to touch it. When we got done with Santa, Owen wanted to go back to see the fish. The boys stood there watching the fish for a little while and then Owen announced he did not want to go to the park. He said he wanted to go straight home. We said our goodbyes and headed home. We got about halfway home and Owen said he wanted to go to the park. I told him that we could go tomorrow or Friday, but we were going home since that’s what he had requested. He handled it like a champ and we went straight home.

The rest of the night went quickly, and he was still very calm about everything. He started saying that he didn’t want to go to grandma's tomorrow because he wanted to go on Saturday. I told him that he could go on both days. Mommy would just be there with him tomorrow. I think this is what is hard for him to understand. He’s done it before, but it’s still hard for him.

We got ready for bed and I thought he was sound asleep, but he woke up and came to me right before midnight to get his tablet. I told him it was still nighttime and he went back to bed. I pray he sleeps the rest of the night. I’m thankful for a good day. I hope that he wants to go to his grandma’s house tomorrow and that everything goes smoothly. His laughter made my day and filled my heart with love. Find what makes you smile and share it with the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Sleep happened. For that I am thankful. Owen was kind of in a cranky mood but after a few moments of screaming and me reminding him that if he wanted to go bowling that we should be happy he seemed to become calmer. He made his breakfast choice and then started playing with his tablet.

After the initial start of our day, he was so much calmer. He was excited about going bowling. We were about to get ready to go when he asked for chicken. He had just finished his second breakfast about thirty minutes before and now wanted chicken. Since he hadn’t been eating as well the last few days I was glad to see his appetite return. I made his chicken and he devoured it. After that, he was ready to go bowling.

He was so happy to go bowling. It has been a while since he wanted to go. Today was the first time I have not used the wristband with him since he ran down the lane to “tell the pins bye-bye” when we first started bowling together years ago. I talked to him about staying with me while we were bowling and he did great. He asked to go bowling thirty more times this week. I told him we might be able to go a couple more times but probably not thirty.

I tried to take him to see “Fish Santa” but he wasn’t coming until later in the day. He handled it like a champ though and was excited to see the fish. He lay down in front of the tank and stared up at the fish. He wanted to stay for quite some time and was very happy when I told him we would have to come back soon. He goes through spurts where he doesn’t want to go but I have a feeling he is going to want to go several times again.

I kept trying not to think about what day it was but it is not something that I can forget. Three years since my brother has been gone and it doesn’t get any easier. Owen talks about “Uncle Wichard” all the time. I know he doesn’t understand why he is not here. My heart still aches and I can’t even imagine it is real.

Owen had a great rest of his day. He was extremely calm and very hungry. He asked to go to the park tomorrow. I told him it might rain and he said, “Jump in the puddle” so we will see how the weather is but we might have to go jump in some puddles.

Nighttime came and the new tradition continued for him to come sit with me and I loved every minute of it. He laughed so hard with me and talked to me nonstop for almost an hour. It makes my heart full to see him have such a good day. He got out of bed once to tell me he was going back to school on Monday. He had told me earlier in the day he needed to go back to school on Monday so he could have his “row-teen.” Then he kept saying his teacher’s and row-teen like it was his new chant. I’m glad he is making the connection to his routine. I’m thankful for a great day. Make a big splash in this thing called life and enjoy every day to its fullest. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Four o’clock in the morning was the wake-up time for the day. Owen knew he was going to his grandma’s house and that was enough for his brain to tell him to get up and get going. I tried to explain to him he wasn’t going to her until later in the day but that started the “when are we going” questions and it didn’t stop.

Routine is everything and right now he is struggling with what is happening this week. He stood next to me continuously asking me when he would be going to his grandma’s house. He’d go play for a few minutes and then come right back to talk to me again about when we were leaving. At this point, we still had about four hours before we were even going to meet his grandma. I work on distracting him and trying to redirect his energy.

A car parked in front of our house and a lady walked by with a dog. Both of these events caused him to ask me when the car was leaving and when the dog was coming back. He thought the lady with the dog was the one who drove the car. He wanted the car gone and he ran between me and the window for several hours asking over and over when it was moving. I can’t get him to understand they are allowed to park there and the person who parked there has no clue how stressful it is for Owen. Once they moved he was still upset about it.

It was finally time to go meet his grandma and we had decided to meet at Dairy Queen. He did pretty well while we were there. He saw a woman that he wanted to know about her pants and tried to guess her name. He stared at her and kept pointing to her. She started talking to him and he responded to a few of her questions with prompting.

He spent several hours with his grandma and then they met me so we could go to his vision therapy. He didn’t want to get out of her car because he wanted to make sure she was going to still have grey hair on Saturday. I finally told him that if he didn’t get out of the car we were going to miss his appointment and have to go home. He got out and we went inside.

The theme of the day continued. He repeatedly asked his doctor about her shoes and gum. He was able to do most of the exercises but still continuously talked during all of them. His brain never stops. He asked her about shoes she wore a year ago. He never forgets a thing.

We came home and he was much calmer. He sat with me for about an hour before bed. He was watching a video with a guy in a pool with a palm tree behind him. He said it was a pineapple. I said is that a pineapple? He said, “No sago palm.” Today was emotional. I wish I could help him through these non-routine days and make it easier for him. I have to focus on the good stuff. Tomorrow he wants to go bowling. I’m praying it goes according to plan. His smile is the bright spot of my day. Let your happiness shine through and watch it change the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Send up the flares Owen slept all night and I mostly did. We both woke up in good moods but one of us was a lot more talkative than the other. He immediately started planning his days ahead and talking about the return of his routine.

Breakfast was filled with more interesting conversations. His connections are becoming stronger in his sentence structure. He was talking about his school. He wanted it to be fixed so he could go back to school sooner. I told him it wasn’t broken he was just on his fall break. He said, “They need to leprechaun it.” I reminded him when he would be going back to school and he started talking about his teacher and his friends.

His next big round of conversation was about what we were going to do this week. He knew what was happening today, tomorrow he is spending the day with his grandma and going to therapy, and then the list started for his other days. He wants to go bowling, to the park with his friends, and to see “Fish Santa.” We are going to be busy. He didn’t forget about Thanksgiving. He knows I’m staying with him at my parents’ house and he wants my mom and I to both wear dresses. We will see how that goes.

When we left church we headed to yoga. I wish I could say it went great for my sweet baby O but it was hard for him. He has been asking to go since the last time and loves our instructor but he was upset because she wasn’t wearing blue pants. He screamed and got very emotional. My heart aches for how hard it is for him. He walked through church earlier and I could see how he looked at people’s pants as we were going to his classroom. Walking out our door is one of the hardest things we do sometimes. I pray for people who are understanding and caring to be in our path on days like this. I pray that I can get him back to a level of calm so he can enjoy himself. And I pray for answers to help him through all of this. I’m thankful for our instruction and how she worked with us during the session. For the rest of the night, he talked about how he wanted to go back and that he was sorry he was upset. I know he is making more and more connections every day. I pray tomorrow is a better day for him.

He sat with me for a lot of the day. He went through all the things he wants to do this week and when he gets to go back to school. I know this week is extra stressful for him because his routine means everything to him. I reminded him that he is amazing and that we will get through this together. He asked me for “one more hug” when he got into bed. I told him I would give him two and that I loved him with all my heart. The greatest gift you can give someone is kindness and grace and you will see it come back to you. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Ahh, Thanksgiving break is upon us. This means routine is not routine and our schedule is not our schedule. Owen was awake by three and screaming that he was going to see his grandma a few minutes later. It’s hard to explain to him that it’s all going to be fine when he clings to every bit of consistency he can have in his life.

I tried to go back to sleep but every time I thought he stopped he would either come to me or start yelling about when he was going to see his grandma. Once I got up the food requests started coming in and they didn’t stop all day. It is certainly growing. By ten in the morning, he ate cereal, pancake sausage dogs, and two egg salad sandwiches. I suppose since he was up at three it was like breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

After third breakfast, we got ready to leave for Grandma’s house. He had been very calm after the initial night screams. He was focusing on when he would see his grandma, go to church, therapy, yoga, and return back to school but he was at least very calm as he asked about everything. When we got in the car he asked if it could be his turn on the way to grandma’s house and was calm once again about asking for the specific ways to go. He even said, “Mommy’s turn on the way home.”

My mom said he ate a lot for her as well. She got him one of the new games he requested and he actually let her play it with him. When he brought it home though he wouldn’t let me even take it out of the box yet though. We met after he spent the day there. He got out of the car and he was full of conversation about his day and the days ahead. We stood there for a minute in the parking lot and he kept hugging me and leaning in so I would kiss the top of his forehead. He wanted Chick-fil-A and then we headed home. He devoured all of his dinner and then he wanted to sit with me. I could tell he was tired and it wouldn’t take him long to fall asleep.

I was thankful for all of his conversations and interactions. It brings me joy when he initiates the conversations and they are not the subjects that cause him to repeat his words. Bedtime was quick but he was very emotional. He wanted to make sure he was going back to his same school in December and I confirmed he would. He hugged me and got in bed. He is looking forward to tomorrow and I hope he sleeps all night so he can enjoy it. Let today be a great day to learn something new and watch how quickly it will change your tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!

Once I fell asleep I slept well but it was well after midnight before I could even fall asleep. Owen slept all night and was very calm when he came to me. He was ready for his whole day which included “Night Santa” and seeing all his people at school. He listed several other things and then was off with his tablet to play.

We looked at his book that his teacher made and he went through the days until he would see her again. I could tell he was processing it all. We got ready and went out to wait for the bus. He once again asked me when he would see his teacher. I reminded him he was seeing her today.

Owen got home and he said all the steps he would go through until next Monday so he can “walk in the road” to get to the bus. To say the least, he is ready to go back to school. He told me he hoped he would see all his friends when we went to see “Night Santa.“ I tried to explain to him I was pretty sure we wouldn’t see his friends though.

We ate dinner and got ready to go. On the way there he told me I needed to get a faster car and get in the speed lane. He kept telling me “faster faster” and he wanted me to switch lanes. He got to see “Night Santa” and then once he saw him he was ready to go. He told me back to the car. He wasn’t as concerned on that way home with my speed. He wanted to go by burger boy on the way home and talked about it the whole way there.

Once we got home he started talking about when he would see his teacher. I brought out the book to show him again but this time he screamed. I am starting to think that when he can’t make his mind settle he has to repeat things like it is part of his stimming to comfort himself. Seeing something in black and white overwhelms him when he has to go through the process. Once he asked me about “December two-second” he then took his book and put it back on the table.

It is a lot for him to process and deal with. He is learning how to handle it all and he has come so far. He is ready to see his grandma tomorrow and I know they will have a great time. I pray for a great week ahead and that Owen will have a fabulous fall break. Praying brings calm to me in the face of so many storms. Let your heart be joyful and be the light for someone else. Smiles to all and donut daze!

I couldn’t fall asleep last night and Owen was ready to wake up not much after I fell asleep. I convinced him to go back to his bed with his tablet but he would come to me occasionally wanting to know who would be wearing blue pants today.

He talked to me about next week and that it was fall break. We read his story that the teacher sent home and he was even more attentive to it. We got ready and before I knew we were out the door for him to get on the bus. They were very early today but Owen was beyond excited to get to school.

I picked him up for therapy and off we went. He was very talkative the entire way there. It was a lot about next week and repeating his hopes that he would be at school but also what he wanted to do next week. He wants to go bowling, the park where the “slide will shock you,” Diehl’s restaurant, Dairy Queen, IHOP for big pancakes, Dwight’s for little pancakes, and to see his friends. It sounded like a good list to me and lots of food options.

His therapists said he had a good day and he was able to do many of the exercises. He was still being repetitive with his responses but he was not upset during either session and able to handle the clothes that they were wearing. When we got home he got his backpack out of the car without me asking him. I feel like he has grown a lot over the last month and has seen many new connections.

He was calm all evening. He was a little more quiet and I felt like he was concentrating on things. I know he is processing next week and I hope that it will be a fun week for him. He’s excited he gets to go see “Night Santa” tomorrow and he also asked me when he could go see the “Fish Santa.” Each day I focus on the good stuff and today was full of a lot of the good stuff. Never give up on the hope for tomorrow. Let yesterday go and know that tomorrow can be exactly what you want it to be. Smiles to all and donut daze!