Hanging on the edge of my bed with all the blankets gone is the best way to describe my day. Every emotion hit me like a ton of bricks raining on me as we walked into church. Owen had gotten into bed with me but at least he fell back asleep. He then wrapped himself up in a burrito, taking over the entire bed, and all the covers so I was right on the edge of the bed. I got up but he was mad at me. He needed me in the bed but I had to go to the bathroom. The morning tumbled away from us. Everything, every single thing was up for question but yet he was so incredibly calm and then anxious all at the same time. I sat in the back of the church after I dropped Owen in his classroom. We must have stopped ten times on the way to his classroom because the entire world was not in blue pants. God give me strength, I cry out more than I can even imagine. I sat listening to the songs that made my soul reminisce for a day gone by. My nerves were on edge just sitting there. I put my glasses on the top of my head and then I thought about how Owen would come rushing to me and put them down on my face if he wasn’t in his classroom. I breathed. He cries out to strangers and says “blue pants on next time”. They don’t understand and I don’t always have words to explain. How do you socialize a child and also keep them in their comfort zone at the same time. And it isn’t as emotional every day for him. Some days it seems as though he can handle it more. I think it’s harder because he is bigger and emotions reflect more outward now with his words. I tried to keep us calm. The storm happened when we got home. I was getting one of his rocket ships out of a box. He didn’t know what it was so it was an instant meltdown. He started screaming and stuff went everywhere. He knocked over the trash can as he walked by. My heart just aches for my baby. I tried to keep him calm after that. He was watching a video and the character was squishing and then opening an orange. I didn’t have an orange but I had a lemon. I showed it to him. First he said no and then I told him to touch it. He did. I cut it in half for him. I then showed him how we could squeeze the juice from it. He was only half interested in it but at least he was engaged in it and not upset by it. It was a day of rollercoaster rides and emotions for both of us. He seemed like he ate all day. He asked for more chicken after eating the ten nuggets and most of the cheeseburger that we got on the way home. Since the meltdown I was afraid because I didn’t have the chicken sticks he likes he wouldn’t be happy with the ones I was going to give him. He eats all kinds of chicken but he has his preferences. I gave him a tiny one that I had let cool and he ate it fast. Then he said, “hurry up and cool now chicken real quick” do the new chicken maybe a favorite now. The kazoo is quickly becoming one of his new favorite instruments and played it well into bedtime. I’m praying for a good night’s sleep and he should be happy because he will see his teacher tomorrow. We learn, we love, we grow. Find your motivation and make your dreams come true. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.