I woke up early and I kept waiting for him to come around the corner screaming. I fell back asleep and he came in very calmly. I’m not sure why the screaming happened later but I don’t think he likes me telling him no on anything so the screams come even if he knows it is something that isn’t going to get a yes.
I gave him his summer backpack and his new game. He was very excited about both. He wanted me to order some more games he saw. I told him I couldn’t order everything but if he was kind and not screaming he would get them for more rewards. We played his new game many times throughout the day.
He decided he wanted to get Chinese food. “Chicken and duckling soup” was not his favorite, but he enjoyed eating the eggroll, fried rice, and sweet and sour chicken. He preferred it without the sauce, but he ate many pieces. When I gave him the soup he said, “No thank you.”
He has an appointment with his counselor in the morning and he has been counting the days until he gets to see him again. This will be the last time he sees him because he is moving and Owen will get a new counselor. I hope that he’s able to sleep tonight without getting too excited about his appointment tomorrow. After we are done, we are going to lunch with our friends and I haven’t told him yet because I’m also hoping this will keep him from waking up early but I know he will be very excited about it.
I had to make a phone call and we’ve gone through different timeframes where phone calls are very difficult for Owen. Today was one of those days that it was extremely hard on him and it wasn’t a call that I could put off. He stood next to me, yelling out everybody he thought it could be even though it was none of the people that he was listing. The screams continued, but I finally convinced him to go into the other room while I finished and then he was very calm.
There were so many good moments today, but there were more emotional times when I just cried from how hard the day can be. It’s those moments where you think something’s going to go quick and easy and everything is so hard. The hardest thing some days is knowing That no matter how much I try, he’s still going to get upset for something that I don’t even realize is a problem until it happens. He’s back to having issues with doors and drawers. He has meltdowns if I ever leave them the wrong way. Sitting becomes easier than trying to do something because when I sit, he knows nothing is going to change.
I try so hard to figure out these moments and to stay strong when he needs me most, but it’s hard when he doesn’t listen and continues to do the same actions that he knows I don’t like to get a reaction from me. Once I become sad, he then starts yelling at me because I’m sad and says “Mommy be happy tomorrow.” I tried to explain to him that I was happy today until he screamed at me or did other actions that he knows are not nice like licking my head. He has come so far and I know he will continue to grow but summers are hard when all his routine is disturbed and he’s just trying to find a calm in the storms.
Bedtime did not go according to plan and he stood by my bed repeating over and over and over that he was going to see his counselor tomorrow and he wanted to make sure I was going to take him. He knew this was going to happen, but yet he couldn’t settle And listen to my words. He finally fell asleep and my heart rejoiced back to the moments of his laughter with his new game. I have to hold onto the good stuff and let the other wash away. I pray for sleep tonight and a great day tomorrow. Always remember that tomorrow we get to start anew and what was hard today will be part of your past. You will learn from those moments and grow with success. Smiles to all and donut daze!
RSS Feed