Most of the night is better than only part of the night. Owen woke sometime after four and came looking for his tablet. He knew he was seeing his grandma and after he got his tablet he told me he slept all night so he wouldn’t get to see her.
I was trying to keep redirecting his questions instead of answering them. I want him to think through the process and know that he has the answers. My words matter to him as much as his repetitive words and actions mean to the whole process. The word “ignore” is so hard for me to even use with this because nothing I’m doing is truly ignoring his words or actions but that’s what it has to feel like or be for him to move forward with what he is doing. If he thinks I’m not upset or focusing on his actions and reactions he moves through this all faster. My heart aches for how hard it all is to process for both of us.
We got ready to go and he was pretty calm but saying his words over and over. At least he was calm though and followed my instructions for getting ready. We got in the car and off we went. He was extremely excited his favorite pizza place was getting their sign fixed. I asked him if he wanted to stop to watch but he wanted to get to his grandma’s house.
He stayed with her for a couple of hours and then I went to pick him up. He always wants me to drop him off and not come inside but when I pick him up he wants me to stay a while before we leave. He used to have huge meltdowns anytime I would come inside to stay for any amount of time. Everyone had a place and seeing someone in a different location would cause him to be so upset. I’m thankful for his progress with this even though it still can be very emotional for both of us. When he wanted me to take him to his moving up ceremony at school it was a huge deal for so many reasons. And one of them was because he was fine with me being at his school for more than a couple minutes.
He did everything he could to try to get in trouble on the way home. I would not respond to any of it. This made him upset but he stayed calmer. He pulled my hair in the car when we got to our house and then again as soon as we got out of the car but I still said nothing. We got in the house and I still said nothing. It was the calm victory that he didn’t want but I was not about to give into it. That was the hardest fifteen minutes for me not to react but it worked out and it made for a much calmer evening.
Each day I pray harder for answers and understanding. I tell Owen that we both deserve kindness and grace from each other. I can tell he is learning to process emotions more each day and I see his progress. I always want him to understand that we are a team and learning about this thing called life together.
Bedtime came and he was excited to be going to see all his people tomorrow. He asked me if we could go bowling after school. I told him that we could and it will be interesting if he decides he wants to go when he gets home.
He went through all of his behaviors that he did when we came home. He listed them off one by one and it made me even more aware of how much he remembers his actions but not always what the consequences are from those behaviors. It is the excitement and reactions he wants and makes me rethink everything. There is still more to this because of the other reactions he seeks but once he was done acknowledging them I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to tell me. He said, “Sorry Mommy I love you.” He then hugged me and off to bed, he went.
I’m thankful for his progress and mine. I have to remember to be kind to my own heart. Each day reminds me to never give up on the hope for tomorrow. Learn from yesterday, grow today, and shine tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I was trying to keep redirecting his questions instead of answering them. I want him to think through the process and know that he has the answers. My words matter to him as much as his repetitive words and actions mean to the whole process. The word “ignore” is so hard for me to even use with this because nothing I’m doing is truly ignoring his words or actions but that’s what it has to feel like or be for him to move forward with what he is doing. If he thinks I’m not upset or focusing on his actions and reactions he moves through this all faster. My heart aches for how hard it all is to process for both of us.
We got ready to go and he was pretty calm but saying his words over and over. At least he was calm though and followed my instructions for getting ready. We got in the car and off we went. He was extremely excited his favorite pizza place was getting their sign fixed. I asked him if he wanted to stop to watch but he wanted to get to his grandma’s house.
He stayed with her for a couple of hours and then I went to pick him up. He always wants me to drop him off and not come inside but when I pick him up he wants me to stay a while before we leave. He used to have huge meltdowns anytime I would come inside to stay for any amount of time. Everyone had a place and seeing someone in a different location would cause him to be so upset. I’m thankful for his progress with this even though it still can be very emotional for both of us. When he wanted me to take him to his moving up ceremony at school it was a huge deal for so many reasons. And one of them was because he was fine with me being at his school for more than a couple minutes.
He did everything he could to try to get in trouble on the way home. I would not respond to any of it. This made him upset but he stayed calmer. He pulled my hair in the car when we got to our house and then again as soon as we got out of the car but I still said nothing. We got in the house and I still said nothing. It was the calm victory that he didn’t want but I was not about to give into it. That was the hardest fifteen minutes for me not to react but it worked out and it made for a much calmer evening.
Each day I pray harder for answers and understanding. I tell Owen that we both deserve kindness and grace from each other. I can tell he is learning to process emotions more each day and I see his progress. I always want him to understand that we are a team and learning about this thing called life together.
Bedtime came and he was excited to be going to see all his people tomorrow. He asked me if we could go bowling after school. I told him that we could and it will be interesting if he decides he wants to go when he gets home.
He went through all of his behaviors that he did when we came home. He listed them off one by one and it made me even more aware of how much he remembers his actions but not always what the consequences are from those behaviors. It is the excitement and reactions he wants and makes me rethink everything. There is still more to this because of the other reactions he seeks but once he was done acknowledging them I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to tell me. He said, “Sorry Mommy I love you.” He then hugged me and off to bed, he went.
I’m thankful for his progress and mine. I have to remember to be kind to my own heart. Each day reminds me to never give up on the hope for tomorrow. Learn from yesterday, grow today, and shine tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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