Focus on the good stuff. That’s what I reminded myself of at two o’clock in the morning. I wasn’t feeling my greatest but thankfully I’m still feeling better this round than the previous two infusions. Owen was excited to start his day because around four o’clock he came to tell me he was taking his tablet and going back to bed because he was “upper night.” And so our day began.
Some of his phrases I want them to stick around even though I know he is learning to say them correctly. “Upper night,” is probably one of my favorites right now and I can’t quite try to direct him away from it. I often reflect how far he has come though and it is amazing. He would call something that seemed like a completely random name but I’m sure it meant something to him. He called his toes “birthday candle.” I wondered if it was because they looked like candles to him or for some completely other reason. He used to say “Turn right at the kangaroo.” I have never been able to figure out what that meant and now the intersection has been completely changed by construction.
The morning went quickly. He was focused once again on whether his teacher was going to be his summer school teacher but now he is saying that he has to ask her. It’s progress. He ate a first and second breakfast before he even walked out the door for school and was requesting more but his bus was coming. The dude is growing.
I picked him up for therapy today and his teacher said he had a really good day. This is music to my ears. It makes me so happy to know he is thriving. On the way to his therapy, he told me that he used a glue stick, books, papers, and his black tablet. The conversation about his day is something I have been waiting for.
We got to his therapy and “blue pants” strikes again. He wanted one of his therapists in the outfit he wanted to see her in and he couldn’t get past it. My heart aches for him. I know it is so incredibly hard for him to process. There are certain people he can’t let go of this. I have been able to wear other clothes for a while now without him having meltdowns every day but he still has days where I need to dress how he is thinking. My lack of hair has become more of the focus than my clothes but thankfully most days he just tells me to grow it back.
He was upset when he came out of therapy. His therapist and I stood talking about strategies and trying to work through ways to help him with this. It has been years now and he cycles through times when it is harder for him. This is one of those times. On the way home he cried and talked about someone he doesn’t see anymore. It’s so hard to explain that people are out of his life for many reasons. I’m thankful that he has so many of the kids in his class who had moved ahead of him so that at least he sees them now.
My heart ached for the tears he cried today. I cried those same tears. Even when he headed off to bed he was talking about telling his therapist to wear blue pants and he was sorry. I pray for the new strategies to work. I pray for calm through all the storms. And I pray for love, compassion, and understanding for all.
Today was a hard day. The rollercoaster ride for how I was feeling was right up there with the emotional moments for my sweet baby O. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. Today I wanted to hug my baby tight and pray for a great day tomorrow. I’m still focusing on the good stuff and I know he had a great day at school. Be thankful for the rays of sunshine and the songs that the birds sing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Some of his phrases I want them to stick around even though I know he is learning to say them correctly. “Upper night,” is probably one of my favorites right now and I can’t quite try to direct him away from it. I often reflect how far he has come though and it is amazing. He would call something that seemed like a completely random name but I’m sure it meant something to him. He called his toes “birthday candle.” I wondered if it was because they looked like candles to him or for some completely other reason. He used to say “Turn right at the kangaroo.” I have never been able to figure out what that meant and now the intersection has been completely changed by construction.
The morning went quickly. He was focused once again on whether his teacher was going to be his summer school teacher but now he is saying that he has to ask her. It’s progress. He ate a first and second breakfast before he even walked out the door for school and was requesting more but his bus was coming. The dude is growing.
I picked him up for therapy today and his teacher said he had a really good day. This is music to my ears. It makes me so happy to know he is thriving. On the way to his therapy, he told me that he used a glue stick, books, papers, and his black tablet. The conversation about his day is something I have been waiting for.
We got to his therapy and “blue pants” strikes again. He wanted one of his therapists in the outfit he wanted to see her in and he couldn’t get past it. My heart aches for him. I know it is so incredibly hard for him to process. There are certain people he can’t let go of this. I have been able to wear other clothes for a while now without him having meltdowns every day but he still has days where I need to dress how he is thinking. My lack of hair has become more of the focus than my clothes but thankfully most days he just tells me to grow it back.
He was upset when he came out of therapy. His therapist and I stood talking about strategies and trying to work through ways to help him with this. It has been years now and he cycles through times when it is harder for him. This is one of those times. On the way home he cried and talked about someone he doesn’t see anymore. It’s so hard to explain that people are out of his life for many reasons. I’m thankful that he has so many of the kids in his class who had moved ahead of him so that at least he sees them now.
My heart ached for the tears he cried today. I cried those same tears. Even when he headed off to bed he was talking about telling his therapist to wear blue pants and he was sorry. I pray for the new strategies to work. I pray for calm through all the storms. And I pray for love, compassion, and understanding for all.
Today was a hard day. The rollercoaster ride for how I was feeling was right up there with the emotional moments for my sweet baby O. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. Today I wanted to hug my baby tight and pray for a great day tomorrow. I’m still focusing on the good stuff and I know he had a great day at school. Be thankful for the rays of sunshine and the songs that the birds sing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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