And today I questioned everything. He was very upset about school and everything he was trying to do was not going according to plan. His tablet was so full and was not working properly so which added to his stress. I know he has had enough of being at home. I was able to get his tablet going again and he wanted to look at a video our friends sent him but as soon as I fixed it he looked at it and then moved on. And so our day began.
He also wanted to make sure there would be no more snow in February and March and April. Clearly, we are over this. And he was planning his adventures. He was sad about missing all this school and the thought of his weekend being messed up again was hard for me to even process. I prayed many times today that the next storm does not come this way.
We moved on to trunk or treat. I told him I don’t know when it will be and he said his my best friend and his dad will be there. He ran off screaming. He needed me to answer yes to all the things he wanted to know. And after this, I tried to remember that. It is so hard when he feels like nothing is going his way.
He told me where all of his favorite fast food restaurants live. I love the way he thinks. He listed each of them and then said the city they lived in. The only difference was that any of the ones that were out by our church lived there so there was the “Bible Center Church Chick-fil-A” and then the other one was the “South Charleston Chick-fil-A.” I think saying they “live” in these places makes total sense to me and I will forever now say where they live as well.
Owen is a people person and his people are all snowed in. All he wanted to do today was “move to the home of the purple cows.” He mentioned it so many times and I wonder if he was thinking there would be no snow there. I told him as soon as I could find some property we would move and he told me to look harder. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to pull off purple cows but maybe a blow-up like the rubber ducky we used to see at the spa store. He still talks a lot about the blow-up duck his grandma got him for Christmas even though he didn’t when it was up.
It wasn’t long and we were notified again of remote learning. He didn’t think he was going anywhere still until Wednesday so he didn’t ask me again about it but I knew all of this was hard on him. Another day at home and I still wondered about the possible temperatures if my prediction of Wednesday would be correct. Endless possibilities and like I always tell him focus on today.
The rules can be so hard some days. I was standing in the kitchen fixing our dinner. I put a fork in my mouth. He started screaming from the living room “fork in mouth fork in mouth.” It got louder and louder. I breathed deeper and deeper. The walls feel like they are crashing down on me sometimes. How can putting a fork in my mouth cause him so much anxiety? I breathed deeper again and again and again. The screams kept coming because I didn’t respond. “You’re amazing” was his next round of screams over and over since I hadn’t responded. He needed the response as much as I needed to breathe. And it was only a few seconds of me tasting our food and not being able to respond. This was how most of the day went.
I sit so much of the time, watching for the pins and needles to stop dropping like a Christmas tree losing the last of its holiday cheer. Sitting keeps him calmer and that helps the day move forward. He likes his routine. And I don’t blame him. I’m just thankful he is now going to bed so much more easily. His prayer tonight was “Dear God, thank you for Grandma, Amen.” He stays in bed but then talks to me all the way back to my room. When I get to my room every night he can tell and he always says something similar to “Dear God, thank you for amen good night mommy I love you, Amen.” He reminded me many times that I loved his laugh and did his fake laugh for me. It was exactly what I needed. Let go of the hard moments and turn your dreams into reality. Smiles to all and donut daze!
He also wanted to make sure there would be no more snow in February and March and April. Clearly, we are over this. And he was planning his adventures. He was sad about missing all this school and the thought of his weekend being messed up again was hard for me to even process. I prayed many times today that the next storm does not come this way.
We moved on to trunk or treat. I told him I don’t know when it will be and he said his my best friend and his dad will be there. He ran off screaming. He needed me to answer yes to all the things he wanted to know. And after this, I tried to remember that. It is so hard when he feels like nothing is going his way.
He told me where all of his favorite fast food restaurants live. I love the way he thinks. He listed each of them and then said the city they lived in. The only difference was that any of the ones that were out by our church lived there so there was the “Bible Center Church Chick-fil-A” and then the other one was the “South Charleston Chick-fil-A.” I think saying they “live” in these places makes total sense to me and I will forever now say where they live as well.
Owen is a people person and his people are all snowed in. All he wanted to do today was “move to the home of the purple cows.” He mentioned it so many times and I wonder if he was thinking there would be no snow there. I told him as soon as I could find some property we would move and he told me to look harder. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to pull off purple cows but maybe a blow-up like the rubber ducky we used to see at the spa store. He still talks a lot about the blow-up duck his grandma got him for Christmas even though he didn’t when it was up.
It wasn’t long and we were notified again of remote learning. He didn’t think he was going anywhere still until Wednesday so he didn’t ask me again about it but I knew all of this was hard on him. Another day at home and I still wondered about the possible temperatures if my prediction of Wednesday would be correct. Endless possibilities and like I always tell him focus on today.
The rules can be so hard some days. I was standing in the kitchen fixing our dinner. I put a fork in my mouth. He started screaming from the living room “fork in mouth fork in mouth.” It got louder and louder. I breathed deeper and deeper. The walls feel like they are crashing down on me sometimes. How can putting a fork in my mouth cause him so much anxiety? I breathed deeper again and again and again. The screams kept coming because I didn’t respond. “You’re amazing” was his next round of screams over and over since I hadn’t responded. He needed the response as much as I needed to breathe. And it was only a few seconds of me tasting our food and not being able to respond. This was how most of the day went.
I sit so much of the time, watching for the pins and needles to stop dropping like a Christmas tree losing the last of its holiday cheer. Sitting keeps him calmer and that helps the day move forward. He likes his routine. And I don’t blame him. I’m just thankful he is now going to bed so much more easily. His prayer tonight was “Dear God, thank you for Grandma, Amen.” He stays in bed but then talks to me all the way back to my room. When I get to my room every night he can tell and he always says something similar to “Dear God, thank you for amen good night mommy I love you, Amen.” He reminded me many times that I loved his laugh and did his fake laugh for me. It was exactly what I needed. Let go of the hard moments and turn your dreams into reality. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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