He talked to me all morning about missing his rides with his grandma. The depot is one of those places he loves to go. We don’t know exactly what part he likes. He always asks to go to the depot, “take me by the depot” he will say, but he doesn’t want to look at the train depot building. I think it is the silver shed that houses the mechanism for the train crossings but it’s a guess. He wants to go around the whole area as many times as we will drive him around. Now he drives himself on Google Maps but still wants to go to the area.
If he wasn’t talking about going by the depot he was talking about his therapist’s clothes. At this point, I’m at a loss with how to move him forward on clothes. It is heartbreaking how much time it consumes him and how upsetting it can be to him yet there are times when it doesn’t and people can wear anything they want.
The bus was running late this morning and he was getting anxious that he was going to miss it. I told him that it was coming and we went out to wait. When the bus pulled up he started asking about when he would ride it again and wouldn’t get on the bus. I try to get him to live in the moment but he is always so far ahead. I finally got him on the bus and off they went.
When I picked him up from school he was excited about going to therapy. He had worked it out with his therapist that this week would be a surprise as to what she would wear. She is truly giving her all to try to help him work through this like so many others as well. He got in the car and the entire way there he said all the right things for it to be a successful session. “Let people make choices they can wear what they want,” and on and on he went but the minute he saw her before his session he started crying. His other therapist came to get him and he at least went with her and was doing OK.
I had hoped he would recover by the time he got to his next session. He was able to stay with her and did some exercises but she said he was weepy the whole time. I asked him if he wanted to stop seeing her for a while and he said, “No see her next week.”
I have concluded that maybe he wants to cry and he needs to work through those emotions. It’s so incredibly hard to know why he is struggling with it and how I can help him. I couldn’t take him to the depot because he was crying the whole time so we came home. When we got home he ran through everything with her again. He said what she was wearing next time and that he wouldn’t cry. I have a feeling that he is processing all of it and at some point, he will move forward. I pray for his understanding.
He was showing me something on his tablet and I had my bunny ears off. He leaned over and licked my head. He told me I was “healthy” now. I tell him that the medicine is making me healthy and I am getting better. He told me that I would be able to use a hairdryer soon.
He said, “You know the answer” and then said it again waiting for me to reply. I didn’t say anything so he said, “You know the answer I love you.” I told him I loved him too. Whenever he says “You know the answer” I reply “I love you” and now he says it.
He keeps asking me if I will take him to the depot on Saturday before I drop him off in the driveway at his grandma’s house. He also told me I was taking him to meet her at Bob Evans tomorrow. I said did you forget you have school tomorrow. He said not on Monday. I’m not sure what he is planning with all of that but he is thinking it all through. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep and I pray he sleeps all night. He has Monday and Tuesday off next week but he is prepared for it. I’m thankful for his growth and I pray for more connection for him. Be inspired by the world around you and know that you can make a difference. Smiles to all and donut daze!