Owen’s twelve. I have seen so many changes over the last few months since he turned twelve. He feels calmer and like he is making more connections to how the world reacts to him and he reacts to the world. I see it as those life skills moments that are so very important.
He woke up a little after four but I didn’t even attempt to tell him to go back to bed. I did ask him if he went to the bathroom and he replied with his words combined with mine. “Yes, are you sure,” and off he ran to go to the bathroom. He came back moments later to get his tablet.
He went back to his room and I got up to start the day. I knew I wouldn’t fall back asleep so I went ahead and got my coffee going. A pot of coffee gone by six in the morning is pretty much the standard now. He heard me get up and he immediately started yelling “white bed” wanting me to not disturb his fun with his tablet and turn any lights on even though his light is always on in his bedroom.
Eventually, he came to sit with me. His words felt beautiful to me because they weren’t quite as repetitive as most mornings. He was under the blanket on my bed playing on his tablet but occasionally he would pop his head out to talk to me. In the distance, he heard a fire truck and he told me all about it. I sat with tears floating in my eyes and once again they were there as I wrote the words. Years of waiting for him to tell me about his surroundings lead to these moments when he comes up with words to describe exactly what he wants to.
He started talking about my hair and watching videos. He said, “buzz cut” and continued on about getting his haircut. I told him we could get our hair cut together. He said, “No Mommy get a buzz cut.” I asked him if he wanted one and he said no but immediately followed it up with “going to the barber.” I’m going to keep talking to him about it and see if he wants one too. I used to give them to him when he was little.
I told him that his grandma was going to pick him up since I was going to a consultation about my chemotherapy. He was very excited about that. He couldn’t wait to see her. He said, “Mommy has appointment she come get me from grandma.” More connections and more thanks for these moments.
I had my consultation today. It was a lot of information and I know that it will be a long process. I’m not scared. I’m not afraid. I’m not fearful. I know that I will beat this. I have to go through some more tests and then they will place a port for the chemotherapy. The treatments will be every three weeks for at least six sessions. I meet with a care team next week to go over more information. One step in front of the other. Live stronger. Love harder. And grow more.
Owen spent time with his grandma and I know he absolutely loved it. It is good to have him experience new things even if the situation is hard and out of his routine. I’m thankful for all the support and love we get.
Bedtime was met with talk of school and going to the pool on Friday. Plus there was a little bit of him screaming about me knowing the answer but truly I didn’t know which question we were on. I told him I did though and so did he. He has come so far and I know that together we will get through all the challenges we face and it will lead to the greatest of our victories. Never give up on the hope for tomorrow. Each day is a gift. Let the victories of today be the promise for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
He woke up a little after four but I didn’t even attempt to tell him to go back to bed. I did ask him if he went to the bathroom and he replied with his words combined with mine. “Yes, are you sure,” and off he ran to go to the bathroom. He came back moments later to get his tablet.
He went back to his room and I got up to start the day. I knew I wouldn’t fall back asleep so I went ahead and got my coffee going. A pot of coffee gone by six in the morning is pretty much the standard now. He heard me get up and he immediately started yelling “white bed” wanting me to not disturb his fun with his tablet and turn any lights on even though his light is always on in his bedroom.
Eventually, he came to sit with me. His words felt beautiful to me because they weren’t quite as repetitive as most mornings. He was under the blanket on my bed playing on his tablet but occasionally he would pop his head out to talk to me. In the distance, he heard a fire truck and he told me all about it. I sat with tears floating in my eyes and once again they were there as I wrote the words. Years of waiting for him to tell me about his surroundings lead to these moments when he comes up with words to describe exactly what he wants to.
He started talking about my hair and watching videos. He said, “buzz cut” and continued on about getting his haircut. I told him we could get our hair cut together. He said, “No Mommy get a buzz cut.” I asked him if he wanted one and he said no but immediately followed it up with “going to the barber.” I’m going to keep talking to him about it and see if he wants one too. I used to give them to him when he was little.
I told him that his grandma was going to pick him up since I was going to a consultation about my chemotherapy. He was very excited about that. He couldn’t wait to see her. He said, “Mommy has appointment she come get me from grandma.” More connections and more thanks for these moments.
I had my consultation today. It was a lot of information and I know that it will be a long process. I’m not scared. I’m not afraid. I’m not fearful. I know that I will beat this. I have to go through some more tests and then they will place a port for the chemotherapy. The treatments will be every three weeks for at least six sessions. I meet with a care team next week to go over more information. One step in front of the other. Live stronger. Love harder. And grow more.
Owen spent time with his grandma and I know he absolutely loved it. It is good to have him experience new things even if the situation is hard and out of his routine. I’m thankful for all the support and love we get.
Bedtime was met with talk of school and going to the pool on Friday. Plus there was a little bit of him screaming about me knowing the answer but truly I didn’t know which question we were on. I told him I did though and so did he. He has come so far and I know that together we will get through all the challenges we face and it will lead to the greatest of our victories. Never give up on the hope for tomorrow. Each day is a gift. Let the victories of today be the promise for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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