I should have waited to tell Owen he was going to grandma’s house today. But he kept asking all week. So I told him. The anticipation was so much. He was up around one and ready for his day. I was not. Me trying to convince him that he can stay awake if he stays in his room is like trying to convince him to stay in his room. It lasts about five minutes and then it’s like a parade and the only instruments they are using are the tubas and the entire section is wanting chocolate milk while performing. I’m exhausted. He gets so excited and rightly so I just wish it was a little more tailored to sleep first party later. We had a fun nighttime though. I kept reminding him it was nighttime and he kept telling me he was going to grandma’s house. I told him he wasn’t wrong but he was about eight hours too early for her house. I made the fake snoring sound more times than I could count. He loves it though. Between that and the roaring, we were loud. My eyes feel like heavy wallpaper waiting for the glue to keep them open but they keep rolling down to the ground with nothing to keep them up. He on the other hand was quite active all day. He had a great day with grandma. When I got there he wanted to go swing outside. He also went down the slide and said, “that was fun.” What was not fun was him stepping in the present a dog left in the yard. He had it all over his shoes which got it all over the slide which got it all over his hands and he doesn’t understand at all. He’s a sensory seeker so this was all good to him. And the more we reacted the more he wanted to go step in it again. Then he got into the large swing and didn’t want to get out. The thing was rain was coming. My blue pants could not get wet. His blue pants could not get wet. Grandma’s blue pants could not get wet. Thankfully he finally got out and we didn’t get wet. There are so many rules and wet pants are one we have got to find a way to get through. We went back inside for a little bit and he was happy. The rain was starting again when we were getting ready to leave. I kept praying it would not be bad when we got home. Before I got out of the car I told him over and over and over that it was raining and I was going to get wet. He said, “no.” I told him that we couldn’t go inside if we didn’t get out of the car. I explained that he was going to get wet too but it would be fine. How on earth did rain become our new thing? I want to cry for my baby. I want to cry for me. I don’t have all the answers, I don’t even have some of the answers sometimes. All I do is pray. We got wet. He was calmly anxious if that’s a thing. He told me when we got inside we would dry. He didn’t run to get the towel but we needed to immediately change. Thankfully his mood changed and mine did too. He was watching tv and he started squealing. He kept thinking the internet went out because of the video he was watching but the tv wasn’t going out so I knew the internet wasn’t the problem. I saw the connections running through his mind and he went into review mode. “Ask your mom or dad for help,” he said. He plays a game that has to be connected to the internet and when he is in the car his tablet won’t connect so it always says that. I was thankful that he is finding the words to express his needs. Today was a day filled with growth, encouragement, and sadness. He mentioned “uncle wichard” numerous times and my heart rejoices and cries at the same time. He was exhausted from no sleep last night so he fell asleep basically walking to his bed. He’s excited about church tomorrow and I pray for our week ahead. We learn, we love, we grow. Always remember you are not alone. Weep when you need to and then rejoice for becoming stronger every day. The tears let go of the pain. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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