The good news Owen fell asleep quickly last night. He didn’t sleep as late as he did yesterday, but when he woke, he got in bed with me and slept for another hour. He seems calmer the last couple days, but yet still anxious. We have gone over his schedule multiple times each day. For that matter, multiple times each hour. He hasn’t stopped asking for his teacher since the school year ended. He will have her one more year until he transitions to another school. I am already trying to prepare him for the change. In some ways, it seems like he flows with different transitions and in other ways, he wants what he wants and will ask for it over and over and over again until he can process the answer. I’ve always been an over-explainer and I find myself in that boat often. I try to distract him, but I seem to circle back around to explaining anyways. I am trying to find ways to get him to understand the process better. Most red lights cause anxiety in Owen now. When we have to stop I prepare for the scream or the explosion of words wanting the light to turn green. He doesn’t want us to stop for any reason. He wants to get to the destination quickly. I struggle with which direction to go, trying to think through all the stops ahead. I find myself anxious to drive places, wanting to sit in the comfort of our home, but that too has rules and routines we have to follow, so we keep pushing forward. His communication skills are improving every day. I marvel at the things he can do now, following instructions, and helping with self-care more; still in his way and his terms, but he is learning. Every single day I give thanks for his words. The waiting and the wondering if they would ever come still weighs heavy on my heart when I think of other families waiting for words. I had every emotion waiting and I still have them hearing his words today. Life is not always easy to explain, but know that you are important, your story is important. We all got something and you are not alone in this journey. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.