Another successful night for Owen. Me not so much but I was thankful he did. I fell asleep when he did but then woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep for hours. When I finally did it was time to get up. He was in a great, very loud mood. He couldn’t wait to get to school and therapy.
Trash days are probably some of the hardest days for him especially when he is ready for the bus to come. I can get him occasionally to help me with a bag but that gets him very distracted and he cannot focus on the bus coming. It’s emotional for both of us because this is something he needs to know happens and he needs to know how to do it but timing truly is everything. The best time to do it is when he doesn’t want to do it but he needs to know it has to be done. In circles I go overthinking the littlest of details hoping he won’t scream about it or be into much of a sensory overload to enjoy school. Luckily I got the bags out and we could wait for the bus without interruption.
It is the little things that sometimes get me the most and it’s times like this that I know it is all so hard for him. All morning he talked about meeting our new advisor tomorrow. My heart does another little flip. He wants me to put the exact blankets on the couch and chair that we had on them last time our previous advisor was here. When the mind never forgets a detail the details are important. I am not sure which ones were on them but he will for sure let me know if I am wrong. The screaming about the details is hard. One day at a time I remind myself.
I picked him up from school for his therapy and he knew he only had one session. His therapist said he did great and was much calmer than on most days lately. He was able to concentrate and do the exercises she told me. On the way home he wanted to get Chick-fil-A. We went through the drive-thru and he told me all about it on the way home. He was afraid they didn’t put the right stuff in the bag even though I had told him I checked. I told him believe me I always check now.
The night was filled with twists and turns and more screams than I could count. It was time to go to bed and I was carrying a cup in my mouth. Sometimes this is the easiest way for me to walk. When you use canes you make do with what you can. As I was walking towards the kitchen he saw me and came to rip the cup right out of my mouth. My heart sank. I know he is struggling because my hair isn’t growing fast enough for him and something like a cup in my mouth changes my whole appearance and his whole world. It brings me right back to the days of huge meltdowns when I would pull my long hair from one side of my back across my shoulder. I pray that I can help him refocus and not continue to have meltdowns over these moments.
Bedtime came and once again he was concerned about our new advisor and how long she was going to stay. He didn’t want her to be here when he went to bed and he wanted to make sure she knew she had to leave. He wanted to know what car she would have and if she knew that she had to stay on the porch. I told him she wasn’t staying on the porch and he said yes she was. I pray he sleeps tonight and this doesn’t cause him too many emotions. I’m always torn about whether I should tell him things but letting him know helps him process it all.
After the screams about my cup settled and we said our prayers it was only a two-stomp night and off to bed he went, asking if his teacher would eat a banana and if the aide would eat a pear. I pray for sleep. I pray he can rest and have a beautiful day tomorrow. I’m thankful for his progress. Each day is a brand new day and today I rode the emotional train. Focus on the good stuff and let the rest go. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Trash days are probably some of the hardest days for him especially when he is ready for the bus to come. I can get him occasionally to help me with a bag but that gets him very distracted and he cannot focus on the bus coming. It’s emotional for both of us because this is something he needs to know happens and he needs to know how to do it but timing truly is everything. The best time to do it is when he doesn’t want to do it but he needs to know it has to be done. In circles I go overthinking the littlest of details hoping he won’t scream about it or be into much of a sensory overload to enjoy school. Luckily I got the bags out and we could wait for the bus without interruption.
It is the little things that sometimes get me the most and it’s times like this that I know it is all so hard for him. All morning he talked about meeting our new advisor tomorrow. My heart does another little flip. He wants me to put the exact blankets on the couch and chair that we had on them last time our previous advisor was here. When the mind never forgets a detail the details are important. I am not sure which ones were on them but he will for sure let me know if I am wrong. The screaming about the details is hard. One day at a time I remind myself.
I picked him up from school for his therapy and he knew he only had one session. His therapist said he did great and was much calmer than on most days lately. He was able to concentrate and do the exercises she told me. On the way home he wanted to get Chick-fil-A. We went through the drive-thru and he told me all about it on the way home. He was afraid they didn’t put the right stuff in the bag even though I had told him I checked. I told him believe me I always check now.
The night was filled with twists and turns and more screams than I could count. It was time to go to bed and I was carrying a cup in my mouth. Sometimes this is the easiest way for me to walk. When you use canes you make do with what you can. As I was walking towards the kitchen he saw me and came to rip the cup right out of my mouth. My heart sank. I know he is struggling because my hair isn’t growing fast enough for him and something like a cup in my mouth changes my whole appearance and his whole world. It brings me right back to the days of huge meltdowns when I would pull my long hair from one side of my back across my shoulder. I pray that I can help him refocus and not continue to have meltdowns over these moments.
Bedtime came and once again he was concerned about our new advisor and how long she was going to stay. He didn’t want her to be here when he went to bed and he wanted to make sure she knew she had to leave. He wanted to know what car she would have and if she knew that she had to stay on the porch. I told him she wasn’t staying on the porch and he said yes she was. I pray he sleeps tonight and this doesn’t cause him too many emotions. I’m always torn about whether I should tell him things but letting him know helps him process it all.
After the screams about my cup settled and we said our prayers it was only a two-stomp night and off to bed he went, asking if his teacher would eat a banana and if the aide would eat a pear. I pray for sleep. I pray he can rest and have a beautiful day tomorrow. I’m thankful for his progress. Each day is a brand new day and today I rode the emotional train. Focus on the good stuff and let the rest go. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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