“Little blue jeans,” Owen said once again an inch from my nose. I said, “Good morning to you too.” He immediately said, “Good morning sunshine how are you today I’m fine little blue jeans grandma’s house sandals it’s cold sandals.” Today is the day to get organized. Clutter and chaos to calm and crafty I keep telling myself. I need to find more craft projects for us to work on together to keep his mind focused.
He was ready to go to grandma’s house, see our friends tomorrow at church, go to a friend’s house soon, couldn’t wait for Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, spring break, and camp at his therapy place because he was hoping to see his friend again. I know there were about twenty other things I couldn’t keep up with. His mind never stops and when I don’t answer, respond, justify, flinch, or react in the way he wants it gets louder and louder and louder. And his message becomes clearer and clearer because he moves on to the next thing quicker than I can respond or think about the first one.
“Big boy,” he yelled from the other room. This wasn’t the first time we went through it this morning and it wasn’t going to be the last. Waking up at five and waiting until around ten to go to Grandma’s house was a very long time for him. Slow, meandering Saturdays are not to his liking. The interesting thing when he gets places he is generally ready to come home after a few hours unless he’s not. Routine is routine is the routine.
Learning to be in the moment is something I am trying to work on with him. He wants all his days ahead to be today but then he is ready for the next thing to happen while he is still doing the first activity. My heart still jumps for joy when I think that he stayed at our church’s trunk or treat for three hours. That was an amazing accomplishment and a beautiful experience for him. He has taught me so much about myself and trying to live in the moment as well. And cancer taught me not to be afraid of tomorrow.
“The giraffe ABCs is gone took it away ask her,” he kept saying over and over. “Ask grandma,” he continued. It was a toy he had a long time ago at his grandma’s house. He told me he used to sit on it. The memories he has are incredible. The more he can express his feelings and emotions the more he continues to tell me about his past.
All morning he wanted to know when the Christmas lights would be up downtown. He was so excited about it and couldn’t wait to see them. He also wants to go see “Night Santa” and “Fish Santa.” And like on cue he said it while I was typing it. He wants presents. He wants a candy cane and a big box. He wants a “reindeer ears hat.” My heart is so full. I waited years for him to talk about the holidays and even be fine with seeing decorations.
When we got ready for me to take him to his grandma’s house I put his Children’s Therapy Clinic shirt on from their 5K event where he gets to see “night Santa.” He read the shirt and saw the running lights on it. He got so excited. The connections he is now making are amazing. I cry thinking about how I prayed for these days.
He put on his sandals because he asked me and I told him it was cold but if he wanted to wear them he could. As we were getting ready to leave his new shoes came. I brought them in from the porch and he couldn’t wait to take his sandals off and put them on. I think about the years I spent trying to find even one pair of shoes he would wear and now he is requesting shoes. He still has his opinions and won’t wear some but at least he is choosing shoes and finding his style. And that is what matters.
We finally walked out the door and he was relatively calm the whole way to see his grandma. He told me that he knew his best friend would like our church friends. I love his heart. He had a great time with my mom. She said they played games and he kept looking at his shoes in the mirror. He told her all about them. I think he may be trying to dress like his best friend. He wanted my mom to bring him home so he could go by the “blue church” three times.
He was in such a good mood. He wouldn’t take his shoes off but I also couldn’t convince him to go anywhere. I told him earlier in the morning that I loved it when he was happy and laughed. When he came home he was running back from the spot he stood in to watch his grandma leave and he said, “See I’m happy.” Later in the night he told me again he was happy. I love that he is telling me and that he understands how much it means to me.
Yesterday’s news is just that, yesterday’s news. Don’t let it stop you from being exactly who you are supposed to be today. The doctors told me Owen might not talk. I told him every single day I knew he could. Not only does he talk but he can tell me he’s “mad in four languages” as he says. Let the world hear your story and sing it loud and proud. Smiles to all and donut daze!
He was ready to go to grandma’s house, see our friends tomorrow at church, go to a friend’s house soon, couldn’t wait for Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, spring break, and camp at his therapy place because he was hoping to see his friend again. I know there were about twenty other things I couldn’t keep up with. His mind never stops and when I don’t answer, respond, justify, flinch, or react in the way he wants it gets louder and louder and louder. And his message becomes clearer and clearer because he moves on to the next thing quicker than I can respond or think about the first one.
“Big boy,” he yelled from the other room. This wasn’t the first time we went through it this morning and it wasn’t going to be the last. Waking up at five and waiting until around ten to go to Grandma’s house was a very long time for him. Slow, meandering Saturdays are not to his liking. The interesting thing when he gets places he is generally ready to come home after a few hours unless he’s not. Routine is routine is the routine.
Learning to be in the moment is something I am trying to work on with him. He wants all his days ahead to be today but then he is ready for the next thing to happen while he is still doing the first activity. My heart still jumps for joy when I think that he stayed at our church’s trunk or treat for three hours. That was an amazing accomplishment and a beautiful experience for him. He has taught me so much about myself and trying to live in the moment as well. And cancer taught me not to be afraid of tomorrow.
“The giraffe ABCs is gone took it away ask her,” he kept saying over and over. “Ask grandma,” he continued. It was a toy he had a long time ago at his grandma’s house. He told me he used to sit on it. The memories he has are incredible. The more he can express his feelings and emotions the more he continues to tell me about his past.
All morning he wanted to know when the Christmas lights would be up downtown. He was so excited about it and couldn’t wait to see them. He also wants to go see “Night Santa” and “Fish Santa.” And like on cue he said it while I was typing it. He wants presents. He wants a candy cane and a big box. He wants a “reindeer ears hat.” My heart is so full. I waited years for him to talk about the holidays and even be fine with seeing decorations.
When we got ready for me to take him to his grandma’s house I put his Children’s Therapy Clinic shirt on from their 5K event where he gets to see “night Santa.” He read the shirt and saw the running lights on it. He got so excited. The connections he is now making are amazing. I cry thinking about how I prayed for these days.
He put on his sandals because he asked me and I told him it was cold but if he wanted to wear them he could. As we were getting ready to leave his new shoes came. I brought them in from the porch and he couldn’t wait to take his sandals off and put them on. I think about the years I spent trying to find even one pair of shoes he would wear and now he is requesting shoes. He still has his opinions and won’t wear some but at least he is choosing shoes and finding his style. And that is what matters.
We finally walked out the door and he was relatively calm the whole way to see his grandma. He told me that he knew his best friend would like our church friends. I love his heart. He had a great time with my mom. She said they played games and he kept looking at his shoes in the mirror. He told her all about them. I think he may be trying to dress like his best friend. He wanted my mom to bring him home so he could go by the “blue church” three times.
He was in such a good mood. He wouldn’t take his shoes off but I also couldn’t convince him to go anywhere. I told him earlier in the morning that I loved it when he was happy and laughed. When he came home he was running back from the spot he stood in to watch his grandma leave and he said, “See I’m happy.” Later in the night he told me again he was happy. I love that he is telling me and that he understands how much it means to me.
Yesterday’s news is just that, yesterday’s news. Don’t let it stop you from being exactly who you are supposed to be today. The doctors told me Owen might not talk. I told him every single day I knew he could. Not only does he talk but he can tell me he’s “mad in four languages” as he says. Let the world hear your story and sing it loud and proud. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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