Stomping, running, and now pounding has been added into the mix. Owen hits his fist down on the table and says, “one two free” opening his hand. It’s like some type of game he has learned. He starts it again and then laughs hysterically. The laughter, it’s what gets me through my days. He does not forget a thing and he can reference something that happened a minute before or years ago expecting me to understand. He gets frustrated with me when I don’t know what he wants me to say or help him find. He has to go through the same motions and emotions before he can move forward. Sometimes it takes hours or days before he will stop asking the same question or needing the same response and then he could cycle back around to it even years later. I get stuck on what do I answer, what do I ignore, encourage, or stop. If I don’t help him it can spiral quickly into a meltdown. If I answer too much the reference happens every day. And if I stop him he will only start again when I let him run the mile. I remember when he was much younger I didn’t understand that he had to work through all of the steps. He had been repeating the same few seconds of a video for what seemed like hours to me because of his crying and screaming I took the tablet away from him. I played games with him and we did other activities. As soon as I gave him back his tablet he went to the same video and had the exact same reaction for at least another twenty minutes. I could not stop the moving train even though I tried to derail it. There’s a lot of rules for me to remember. I remind him that it’s fine to have emotions and that we have to learn to work through them. I want him to know I love him even if I don’t always understand what he needs from me. Growing Owen is what we do and I know that I’m growing right next to him. Find your strength, share your story, and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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