Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. I reminded myself of this as he yelled at me for doing exactly what he asked me to do but because he often says the opposite of what he means it’s hard to do exactly what he wants when it is not exactly what he wants. Our day thankfully didn’t start until almost six this morning. I was glad because I couldn’t fall asleep last night. Sure I fell asleep sitting straight up waiting for him to fall asleep but once it was really bedtime the clock moved forward fast and my emotions won. The last week has had a lot of positive moments but after being away the previous weekend it’s made it even harder on Owen. He asks me over and over what we are doing, where we are going, what people will be wearing, and screams at any mention of going anywhere besides where he wants to go. But today was church day and that makes my sweet baby O extremely happy. The only thing that made him a little sad was that one of his favorite people was not there today but he was still happy to be there. He wanted his chicken nuggets and cheeseburger so we picked them up on the way home. He was sitting at the table and got upset because the lid to the trashcan was slightly opened. Then he kept yelling because it would open on its own when he moved his hand a crossed it. I thought this would be a great idea to have an automatic trash can for him. At first, he paid no attention to it but now he is always looking at it. It’s gotten to the point that he will lift the lid up and then push it down. He then screams at it because it won’t stay down. At this point, it’s time for me to take the lid off so it doesn’t upset him anymore. It was a day full of meltdowns and wonderment. He never watches where he is going and he is constantly walking into something or knocking something over. As soon as he knocks something over he then immediately starts yelling and his feet beat against the ground. I try to calm him and let him know we can pick it up. He then starts screaming about picking it up. We then breathe. I have to remind him to breathe through all these moments. I went to the basement to get his Spider-Man outfit that he requested and that was exactly the second he needed me to help him with his tablet. He doesn’t like when I go down there, sometimes. As many screams as he had he also had accomplishments. He sang in numerous languages and he read with me. The robots filled a lot of our day but his greatest concern was that I don’t go to the bathroom, I sit so I’m not doing anything that surprises him, and I come to him immediately every time he says anything. Every time I walked to the bathroom he would stop what he was doing to tell me not to go and then come to the bathroom door to pull it shut and scream or knock on it from the outside, the door that he shut. We breathed. He wanted to watch a video that he hadn’t watched in over a year to fall asleep with but it only made him more hyper. He finally fell asleep in my arms after waking up numerous times. He made progress and he was mostly happy. For the rollercoaster ride today that was good. Care, love, and be kind. That is what I always remind Owen to do. Find your strength, keep moving forward, and know that tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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