Calm is calm until it’s not and then calm is calm again. I would classify last night as one of those random sleepers. I was up and down all night and then Owen woke a little after four. He took his tablet back to his bed after requesting milk he didn’t drink until much later. And so the day began.
Calm was the name of the game all morning. He ate his breakfast well after the time he woke up but then ate a lot throughout the morning. He was focused on what was going to happen in the days ahead. I feel like he is connecting more and more to explanations and talking through moments. He skips to Tuesdays often and I feel like this has to do with his therapy and bus routines. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier and less questions if he rode the bus all five days. I overthink this but know it is good for him to have the changes because nothing in life is routine.
We got ready to go to grandma’s house and he listened to all the directions I gave him. When we got in the car he wanted to tell me which way to go. I told him it was my turn and we would be going the way I wanted. There was an event close by us and I knew the traffic would be bad so the way he likes to go would not be possible. He was calm the entire way and was talking to me about numerous people he was excited to see in the upcoming days.
A few hours later I went back to pick him up and spent some time there before we came home. He wanted me to play on the “black computer” with him. He wanted me to share the chair with him and watch him. This was a first and this was huge. He usually wants me to sit in the other room talking to my mom after I have said hi to him. We stayed for a while longer and then we headed home.
The way home was supposed to be his turn. Well, his turn did not go according to his plan or mine. His calm day turned into a screaming meltdown at all the wrong turns even though he was telling me where to turn kind of plan. The screams got louder and louder and I tried to calm him down which led to the louder screams and kicking the seat and pulling the door handle. My heart aches in these moments. I know it is anxiety for him and not being in control or a thousand other reasons but sometimes these trips go fine when it is his turn and sometimes every single turn turns and twists into a meltdown. I breathe. We got home and we talked about kindness and grace. I remind him of this. I want him to understand that we have to respect each other’s feelings.
Later, we talked more about being kind to people and he told me “Sorry Mommy.” I knew he meant from when we were in the car. He then mentioned his therapist and said sorry to her too. He is still learning how saying sorry works but I love that he is grasping that we have to apologize to people. I was trying to walk him through why it is important to let people wear what they want to wear so I explained to him that if he wants everyone to be in the outfits he wants them to be in I will only put him in the clothes I want him to be in. I told him that means you can’t wear shorts anymore. He said, “Blue pants jeans.” I told him no. He said, “Joggers.” I said, “Maybe but it won’t be shorts.” I told him that his grandma and other people want to wear the clothes they like too. He told me they could wear shorts. It was a start and hopefully, if we keep talking about it then he will be able to process it. I don’t know but I’m going to see if Curious George has a pant solution like he did for the rain and sleeping.
Calm had returned and the night flew by. I was more than ready for bed and I prayed for a good night for both of us. Hopefully in the next few days, my stomach will calm down again and it will be better so I can build my strength for the next infusion day. I pray for the right words to continue to help Owen make those amazing connections he is making. His laughter and the moments when he wanted me to be right there with him in his mischief were the highlights of my day. Find the beauty in the rays of sunshine that fall and make room for the moon to shine bright with delight. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Calm was the name of the game all morning. He ate his breakfast well after the time he woke up but then ate a lot throughout the morning. He was focused on what was going to happen in the days ahead. I feel like he is connecting more and more to explanations and talking through moments. He skips to Tuesdays often and I feel like this has to do with his therapy and bus routines. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier and less questions if he rode the bus all five days. I overthink this but know it is good for him to have the changes because nothing in life is routine.
We got ready to go to grandma’s house and he listened to all the directions I gave him. When we got in the car he wanted to tell me which way to go. I told him it was my turn and we would be going the way I wanted. There was an event close by us and I knew the traffic would be bad so the way he likes to go would not be possible. He was calm the entire way and was talking to me about numerous people he was excited to see in the upcoming days.
A few hours later I went back to pick him up and spent some time there before we came home. He wanted me to play on the “black computer” with him. He wanted me to share the chair with him and watch him. This was a first and this was huge. He usually wants me to sit in the other room talking to my mom after I have said hi to him. We stayed for a while longer and then we headed home.
The way home was supposed to be his turn. Well, his turn did not go according to his plan or mine. His calm day turned into a screaming meltdown at all the wrong turns even though he was telling me where to turn kind of plan. The screams got louder and louder and I tried to calm him down which led to the louder screams and kicking the seat and pulling the door handle. My heart aches in these moments. I know it is anxiety for him and not being in control or a thousand other reasons but sometimes these trips go fine when it is his turn and sometimes every single turn turns and twists into a meltdown. I breathe. We got home and we talked about kindness and grace. I remind him of this. I want him to understand that we have to respect each other’s feelings.
Later, we talked more about being kind to people and he told me “Sorry Mommy.” I knew he meant from when we were in the car. He then mentioned his therapist and said sorry to her too. He is still learning how saying sorry works but I love that he is grasping that we have to apologize to people. I was trying to walk him through why it is important to let people wear what they want to wear so I explained to him that if he wants everyone to be in the outfits he wants them to be in I will only put him in the clothes I want him to be in. I told him that means you can’t wear shorts anymore. He said, “Blue pants jeans.” I told him no. He said, “Joggers.” I said, “Maybe but it won’t be shorts.” I told him that his grandma and other people want to wear the clothes they like too. He told me they could wear shorts. It was a start and hopefully, if we keep talking about it then he will be able to process it. I don’t know but I’m going to see if Curious George has a pant solution like he did for the rain and sleeping.
Calm had returned and the night flew by. I was more than ready for bed and I prayed for a good night for both of us. Hopefully in the next few days, my stomach will calm down again and it will be better so I can build my strength for the next infusion day. I pray for the right words to continue to help Owen make those amazing connections he is making. His laughter and the moments when he wanted me to be right there with him in his mischief were the highlights of my day. Find the beauty in the rays of sunshine that fall and make room for the moon to shine bright with delight. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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