The screams echo through my mind still. Owen woke up by one and the screamfest began. I didn’t even disagree with his plan. I let him have his tablet and I told him that if he went to his room he could have his dream day. The screaming continued all night long. My emotions were right there with it.
I’m not quite sure how it spiraled out of control but two, three, and four o’clock in the morning were all the same and too much for him. He was still in a mood at that point and I just cried. This was not how my day was supposed to go. It was Mother’s Day and it was my birthday.
He told me last night that we “celebrate Mother’s Day.” I could hear his words all week as he prepared for the day. I could tell they have been working with him at school on saying it and what it meant so I truly thought he would say those words even when he woke up at one. I even thought he might say Happy Birthday. A few weeks ago he was talking about celebrating his birthday again and I told him mine was on the eleventh. He talked about it almost every day and the closer it got to the eleventh he brought it up more. He even figured out they were on the same day.
I tried to explain to him all night long if he let me sleep we could still go to church but he came into my room every few minutes asking to go to church, not understanding or listening that I was saying we could go. All he heard was me requesting the screaming to stop so the screams became louder. I think I will petition the church to have a Saturday night midnight service. He would be overjoyed.
It’s funny he went to bed so easily last night and wanted to go to bed. I was completely exhausted all day and he was beyond exhausted. He was yelling to keep himself awake as the day wore on, walking around the house talking to his friend’s pictures, and telling him what they would be doing at school next year. He can’t even keep his eyes open when he is standing yet he wants to go to church and then grandma’s house. I reminded him that we were both too exhausted to go.
“Santa will be coming soon he will be coming soon he will bring me presents on fire truck caterpillar come early,” these fine thoughts and many more danced through his sugarplum filled head. He wants another green caterpillar with the right letter legs this time. It’s a toy that they have made for years and he wants a specific version I have to see if I can find. Then he has been watching Santa videos and expects him to come to bring him presents from the truck with Ms Claus. Oh boy that will be an adventure.
It was an interesting day. He had a lot on his mind for sure. He got his second wind numerous times throughout the day and kept asking to go to church and grandma’s. I asked him if he knew why we weren’t going and he said, “Because screaming” so he technically gets it but from there he isn’t able to process it.
Lots of prayers got me through the day. The screaming was hard last night. Screams travel. It makes me anxious. That’s hard to think about. It makes me sad that he can’t comprehend how hard it is. When he was three it was one thing and it was still never easy but at thirteen no matter how you slice it it’s hard. My son is amazing but today he not once said happy Mother’s Day or happy birthday after knowing it last night and working on it for weeks. I try not to think about it and instead concentrate on the good stuff but it’s still emotional.
It was a long day. He wanted to be with me but he was incredibly loud using his voice to keep himself awake. He fell asleep in my bed but I was able to get him into his. I pray for sleep tonight and more of an understanding for him tomorrow. He has come so far that I know he will get this too. And today we both missed our church family and being able to spend the day with my mom. The tears fell today even though I tried to make them stop. Tomorrow is a brand new day and that is what I’m trying to focus on. Look for the silver lining and turn it into gold. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I’m not quite sure how it spiraled out of control but two, three, and four o’clock in the morning were all the same and too much for him. He was still in a mood at that point and I just cried. This was not how my day was supposed to go. It was Mother’s Day and it was my birthday.
He told me last night that we “celebrate Mother’s Day.” I could hear his words all week as he prepared for the day. I could tell they have been working with him at school on saying it and what it meant so I truly thought he would say those words even when he woke up at one. I even thought he might say Happy Birthday. A few weeks ago he was talking about celebrating his birthday again and I told him mine was on the eleventh. He talked about it almost every day and the closer it got to the eleventh he brought it up more. He even figured out they were on the same day.
I tried to explain to him all night long if he let me sleep we could still go to church but he came into my room every few minutes asking to go to church, not understanding or listening that I was saying we could go. All he heard was me requesting the screaming to stop so the screams became louder. I think I will petition the church to have a Saturday night midnight service. He would be overjoyed.
It’s funny he went to bed so easily last night and wanted to go to bed. I was completely exhausted all day and he was beyond exhausted. He was yelling to keep himself awake as the day wore on, walking around the house talking to his friend’s pictures, and telling him what they would be doing at school next year. He can’t even keep his eyes open when he is standing yet he wants to go to church and then grandma’s house. I reminded him that we were both too exhausted to go.
“Santa will be coming soon he will be coming soon he will bring me presents on fire truck caterpillar come early,” these fine thoughts and many more danced through his sugarplum filled head. He wants another green caterpillar with the right letter legs this time. It’s a toy that they have made for years and he wants a specific version I have to see if I can find. Then he has been watching Santa videos and expects him to come to bring him presents from the truck with Ms Claus. Oh boy that will be an adventure.
It was an interesting day. He had a lot on his mind for sure. He got his second wind numerous times throughout the day and kept asking to go to church and grandma’s. I asked him if he knew why we weren’t going and he said, “Because screaming” so he technically gets it but from there he isn’t able to process it.
Lots of prayers got me through the day. The screaming was hard last night. Screams travel. It makes me anxious. That’s hard to think about. It makes me sad that he can’t comprehend how hard it is. When he was three it was one thing and it was still never easy but at thirteen no matter how you slice it it’s hard. My son is amazing but today he not once said happy Mother’s Day or happy birthday after knowing it last night and working on it for weeks. I try not to think about it and instead concentrate on the good stuff but it’s still emotional.
It was a long day. He wanted to be with me but he was incredibly loud using his voice to keep himself awake. He fell asleep in my bed but I was able to get him into his. I pray for sleep tonight and more of an understanding for him tomorrow. He has come so far that I know he will get this too. And today we both missed our church family and being able to spend the day with my mom. The tears fell today even though I tried to make them stop. Tomorrow is a brand new day and that is what I’m trying to focus on. Look for the silver lining and turn it into gold. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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