The morning went by quickly. He was in a pretty good mood but highly elevated about Friday being still summer break. “Friday summer break” he would start saying before he even got to me. Over and over again he repeated it. No calming techniques or sense of reassurance will change how the next two weeks go. It’s the final countdown to when school begins and my heart aches for him every day. Routine is everything and right now it is so incredibly hard.
He was excited that he was going to his music and vision therapies. He wanted to ask them all to buy coins for his favorite game on his tablet since he knew that Grandma and I would not do it. He loves playing the hat game but he wants the coins so he can lose first and then use the coins to keep playing instead of trying to win the coins. He plays the game brilliantly so he can win constantly but likes watching the bear’s expression when he loses.
My mom was going to take him to his therapies today so I could rest. I dropped him off with her and then I got food. I was able to eat a lot more and the foods that sounded horrible yesterday sounded great today. Some worked some didn’t but I ate what seemed like tons even though I didn’t finish any of it. I was feeling a lot stronger as the day wore on.
I went to pick Owen up after his therapies and my mom told me he did great at both of his therapies until the very end of his vision therapy and he was done. The next two weeks until he goes back to school will be rough for him. With all the changes he has truly done well this summer but I know that each day he will be focusing on the road ahead. I tried many techniques with him today but everything elevated him instead of helping him.
He wants to go on a ride with his grandma tomorrow to see his favorite statue but I told him that we would decide in the morning if he behaved. He listened when it was bedtime and off to bed he went. Each day I pray for more connections and understanding for both of us. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it.
Today was probably one of the most rollercoastery days I’ve had in quite some time. Good news came, different news came, things changed, and life continued forward. The emotions for all the moments came intertwining together quickly for me and my heart exploded in joy and broke into pieces but I’m stronger and tomorrow will all work out.
Owen hugged me as he got ready for bed and I kissed the top of his forehead. He walked away and I said, “I love you.” He turned around making a full circle, said, “I wuv ewe,” and off to bed he ran. He doesn’t often repeat it or say it to me first but these moments are what life is all about. Love hard, cherish moments, and pray deep. Smiles to all and donut daze!