I’m praying that tomorrow I will feel better. The last couple of days have been rough with food. I truly love eating and I think this is probably the hardest part for me. I look back and think how the surgery for my port installation felt like a piece of cake compared to the days of food not tasting great. But I’m thankful for how far I’ve come with all of this and in less than a month I will have my next surgery. I’m in it to win it and I know it will be alright.
The morning went quickly. Owen was much calmer about getting dressed than yesterday. I’m trying to figure out the right way to let him decide what to wear and telling him he can’t wear certain clothes. It’s like a cycle we go through every single day. I want him to be independent but I also want him to connect to how he sees clothes and understand our actions when others aren’t wearing what we think they should be wearing.
He was so happy to wait for the bus and go to school. He checked multiple times with me to make sure which school he was going to and then he was off. He came home much happier today and his bus aide wore shorts for him just to make sure he would have a better day. I am so thankful for the people in his life who care so much about him and work with him on so many levels.
Right when we got inside his doctor called to talk about his last appointment and how everything was going. Owen is back to not handling phone calls well and immediately started screaming. My heart breaks that hearing someone through the phone makes him so upset he can’t handle it. Thankfully it was his doctor and he completely understood. He quickly talked through everything with me and we hung up. I asked Owen if he could tell me why it upset him so much hoping that I could help him connect to his feelings. He doesn’t know how to explain it but I keep hoping that those connections will be formed by the questions I ask.
He sat with me for a while before dinner while I was working on my laptop. I showed him his picture and I asked him who it was. He said, “Baby Owen” and started smiling, tilting his head back and forth as he looked at himself from different angles. Looking at pictures of himself and others he knows is also something that he has a difficult time with. Sometimes it’s no problem and then other times he screams and runs away.
The rest of the night was quiet but full of lots of laughter. Those are my favorite moments when I hear his joyous laugh. I think of these calm moments as my gifts. I know that he is happy and that fills my heart with joy. Focus on the good stuff and let the rest wash away. Today is your day to be happy. Smiles to all and donut daze!