I woke knowing that I could not convince my bladder to go back to sleep. I also knew it was a fifty-fifty shot it would wake Owen. And it did. Within ten minutes of me going to the bathroom, he was in my room with his tablet requesting my help. I told him it was still nighttime and he needed to go back to bed. I do not believe I had a convincing voice because he ran with his tablet and that was that. I heard the rain. I immediately started thinking about going to church. If my pants got wet Owen would go into panic mode, trying to dry them, and that would lead to a meltdown. I got a pair of my jeans and I splashed water on them. I showed him the whole process. I could see his face immediately change as I dripped the water on them. He put his hands to his eyes, covering one of them. The concern for my pants was overwhelming him and he wanted a paper towel to start drying them immediately. He grabbed at them but couldn’t rip one off. I tore one for him but I explained that it wouldn’t completely dry them. I said they would dry as they sat there. I put them on a chair so we could watch them dry. Surprisingly he left them but he would walk by them, covering one eye to look at them. He kept saying, “we don’t talk about pants.” He was still concerned as they dried but hopefully, this will help him to process when water gets on something. I know I need to continue working on this with him because yesterday when we came home I got a tiny spot of water on my jeans off the condensation from the bag of food I was carrying. He instantly noticed it. I repeated over and over and over it would be fine. I quickly moved the bag I was carrying and adjusted my purse to cover the water spot that was literally about the size of a quarter. I can only imagine how difficult the world can look to him. I notice more and more every day how one tiny thing shifted in one direction sends him into overdrive and he has to set it right. When we left for church this morning I prayed as we walked out the door for no rain but I didn’t even think about the leaves scattered randomly across the sidewalk, dotted here and there. Owen went to each one of them, picking them up and moving them back to the grass. He doesn’t understand he can’t pick everything up or that something could be dangerous to him. I ushered him quickly passed the rest of the leaves and into the car. I try to find a middle ground between helping him understand some things can’t be changed and shouldn’t be changed and the difference between having an opinion or needing order and routine in his life when he views the world. He doesn’t have to adapt to everything in our world when none of what he wants is necessarily wrong but he does have to understand that not everyone or everything can or will adapt to what he wants because people get to have choices as well. And you can’t stop leaves from falling or rain from ruining your parade. All I can do is pray and remind him to have kindness and grace towards others like we want them to give us. I think this is helping him because he mention “blue pants” a few times today but none of it was with the anxiousness of days gone by. I’m hoping we are making progress and the routine of school will help him to focus on other things. I will be happy to talk with the specialist in September to see if they can help us with our journey. He started talking about seeing his teacher tomorrow and he asked about her all day. This filled my heart with joy. He knows he’s riding the bus in the morning and I’m beyond thankful he is finally accepting it is now August and he is seeing his beloved teacher again. He’s had a good day and I’m praying that he sleeps tonight so he will be ready for his day tomorrow. His laughter filled the house today and that is the joy I needed. Be kind to your heart, dance in the rain, and let the world see you smile. I promise someone needs to see it. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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