I supposed we kinda slept last night but Owen sure woke knowing exactly what he wanted to do. “Church church church”, he sang out. I told him it would be a few hours especially since it was barely six at that point. He struggled with screaming at me today. Or maybe I struggled with him screaming at me today. He was in a good mood but he still managed to get himself in numerous tizzies all day. They weren’t exactly meltdowns, they weren’t exactly tantrums, they were tizzies. He was worked up about his days ahead. The uncertainty of everything causes him to have bigger emotions than he can handle sometimes. He walked around touching everything saying, “that’s a”, wanting me to explain to him what everything was even though he knew what everything was. If I didn’t answer he came to me and was an inch from my nose asking me “that’s a”. This went on for about fifteen minutes before he moved on. Then next up it was screaming about his blanket. He likes to sit on the couch with his blanket entirely covering him but then he sits there while it’s entirely covering him screaming about wanting me to put it on him. “Blanket please”, he yells and before I can say anything he continues screaming, “it’s on you”. He kept screaming it. I don’t know how to stop the train. I take the blanket and work with him to move him on to something else but if I don’t let him have his emotions he will come back to it like he did today when he went to bed. He immediately pulled the covers over his head and started saying the same things. “Blanket please blanket I want the blanket blanket please”, and on and on it went until he fell asleep. All I can do is hold him and pray for comfort. Earlier I was eating watermelon with a spoon and I thought back to my childhood when I hated watermelon. When I think back to that time it was more the fact that I hated the watermelon juice coming down my arm when I would eat it from the rind than me actually not liking watermelon. That was how come I didn’t like a lot of foods. Barbecue was too messy for me because I didn’t want to touch it but instead I said I didn’t like it because I didn’t know how to explain that. I thought about how Owen eats his food after I swept up another huge pile of food that had fallen to the ground as he was eating. He breaks his food in his hand and crumbles it making food go everywhere. Like me when I was little I didn’t know how to eat certain foods without touching them and he will scream if he has to smell, look at, or touch certain foods. I’m learning to adapt what foods I give him and that way he tries more variety. I’m thankful he gets to see his beloved teacher and classmates tomorrow and from here we keep moving forward. I keep telling myself you can continue to be or grow and do. Find your strength and keep moving forward. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.