Owen slept. I didn’t. He slept all night, and then got into bed with me, sleeping for another hour. I thought if I bypassed the kitchen light, and turned on the living room light he might not be disturbed by it. He was. Time to invest in some nightlights, maybe he would get used to them, and I could still see around the house when he doesn’t want them on. I’m learning to adapt to rules that govern our daily lives, that can change at a hat, but usually stays the same. Owen is on spring break. A whole week of no school. He asked for his teacher this morning, and to ride the bus, but then I told him wasn’t going to school. He asked to go bowling, the coffee shop, and church. Sometimes I tell myself to breathe. I can’t even explain the rollercoaster of emotions that I go through. I cry at the drop of a hat, over everything. Every time I put Owen’s socks on, and he stretches toes, I wonder if the sock fits him fine. He can’t tell me if the seam is in the wrong place, or if it gets bunched in his shoe. He’s so sensitive to his surroundings, yet he can’t explain what he needs to change. He’s learning to express himself. I can see changes in the way he does things to get his point across, as well. I remember when Owen would get sick, I had to try to figure out what was wrong with him, way after the baby stage. Then he moved to singing “momma called de doctor and de doctor said” when he was sick; taking his cue from all those monkeys jumping on the bed. And now when he isn’t feeling well, he says, “are you sick”. These are huge steps, and yet one of the hardest things for me, because I rejoiced when my baby started singing about the doctor. It meant he could tell me how he felt, but still to this day the sadness washes over me that he couldn’t use his own words. It’s been a growing, and learning process for both of us. Today, he is jumping up, and down, happy as a lark, playing a learning video, and eating his dinner. Every step forward is a step. Find your strength, and know that today is a stepping stone for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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