Owen woke around six and was very calm. We went through our new morning routine and then he got his tablet. I fixed him some breakfast and he sat there playing his tablet. He did not want me to do anything besides sit. I told him if I didn’t get up he wouldn’t get to go to school. He told me to go back to the “white bed.” The rules that he sets in motion are hard to even explain. It’s not a matter of me standing, getting dressed, and then getting him dressed it’s the fact that if he doesn’t remain calm then he can’t process what any of the next steps will be and he will have a meltdown before I can even stand up to get ready.
He gets overwhelmed and overstimulated in a split second if he can’t think through the steps we have to do. Most days he can handle the process but some days something like having his clothes spread out on my bed will have him screaming and his foot tapping before I can even pick up his shirt to help him with it. He can’t handle laundry on the bed but I try to explain to him it’s not laundry it’s his outfit.
We got out the door to wait for the bus with him telling me he was going to walk in the road. Once we went over the rules again we crossed the street and the bus came around the corner. He was quicker to get on the bus without repeating that he was going to see his teacher on Friday at least ten times. I was excited about the progress.
His teacher said he had a good day at school. I was thankful for that. She told me he had been asking for me and that made my heart happy. We went to his music therapy and he was in a group session. His therapist said he had a much better day than last week and only talked about her pants a few times in between their songs.
We came home for a little bit and then went to his vision therapy. He did wonderful with the different exercises and did several he had not been able to even comprehend before. He was focused on her pants and if she would find blue gum but at least he was not upset about it like before.
The ride home however was something that broke my heart. He thinks that every time we drive somewhere he needs to be in charge of how we drive. He thought I was going to turn at a red light but I wasn’t. He pinched my arm and he was trying to open his door which always has the kid's safety lock on. He can’t even comprehend this behavior. When we got home I told him that his behavior was unacceptable and he wouldn’t have his tablet. I also told him that if he did that behavior again he would not get to go places in the car. Trying to work on a behavior can lead to one emotional behavior after another. He cried and told me he was sorry and the sorries continued all night. These emotions lead to more emotions and that leads to repetitive behaviors.
Trying to find the right way to correct a behavior is one of the hardest emotions I deal with. It leads to him repeating his words and actions. Because he knew his behavior was wrong and that it had upset me. This is progress for him to be able to process this much but it is so emotional for both of us. He kept saying, I need to use the bathroom.” I would tell him to go to the bathroom whenever he needed to and he would then say, “No bathroom” and start it all over again. It was his way of handling the emotions.
With all of this, he truly had a good day. He worked through many different scenarios and was able to do things he hadn’t done before. I’m proud of him and I know tomorrow will be another huge stepping stone of progress. Walk through your challenges with your head held high and know that tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!