He wanted me to get him chocolate milk and I knew what was going to happen because even when he is feeling well he does the same thing. He does not want to drink it he just wants it on the table. If I put a glass in the refrigerator that is not what he wants. He will take it out every time and put it on the table. It’s like a two-step process. If I move the cup back to the refrigerator at any point he gets it back out and puts it on the table.
He told me yesterday he was not going to school today. When he woke up, he sounded much better than he did yesterday, but I knew he still needed a lot more rest. We spent the morning sitting and he was using Google Earth to drive past the house his babysitter had when he was very young. He told me he played on the piano and watched channel 87. He did this with many more places he hadn’t been in years.
He wants me to help him find everything in Spanish and other languages on his tablet. I tried to explain to him that I can’t always read what the titles are on YouTube videos. He wants to find all of the videos that are similar to the one he’s watching instead of finding similar ones that the person posted this requires me to try to type in everything that he wants in all of these languages. The screaming is what gets you. I try not to respond to his screams, but it’s hard when he’s yelling 2 inches from my face, or so loud that I can’t even think, or so long that it all runs together. I also tried to explain to him that he shouldn’t be yelling right now when he’s coughing so much but that just makes him scream more.
I took Owen to my radiation appointment with me and we met our friend who waited in the car with him. All morning long Owen had said he wanted to order Bob Evans and I told him we would have it delivered. I had a feeling he still wouldn’t eat much but I wanted to order it anyway and hopefully have him eat some. The order came and it was just like the chocolate milk. He wanted it on the table, but he ate very little.
Afternoon went into evening and there were lots more screaming, but he was definitely feeling better. He was still very clingy, but he kept talking about going to school tomorrow. He wanted to take his bath so we got ready, but the screaming persisted over me not wearing my bunny ears. I tried to explain to him that my head was hot, but he still couldn’t handle The look of my hair and could deal better with the bunny ears. The screaming continued.
He was fine about bedtime and then after he lay there for a couple of minutes, he started screaming about seeing his teacher tomorrow. The screaming didn’t stop. I tried to explain to him that he could decide tomorrow if he still wasn’t feeling well and needed to stay home. I told him otherwise he was going to get to see his teacher tomorrow. It took another thirty minutes for him to calm down enough to go back to bed.
I was thankful for more smiles than sadness from him, but it was hard seeing him so upset during bedtime. He knew he had screamed a lot at me today and I tried to explain to him about kindness and grace one more time. I said we both weren’t feeling well which meant we should love each other harder and not yell at each other. As the night went on, he told me he was sorry and he loved me. I’m thankful for the connections. He is beginning to make. Dream big, love harder, and make the world a better place. Smiles to all and donut daze!