I feel like I’m on the elevator of life. One minute you’re up, the next minute you’re down, and you really need to be in between. To say Owen is doing amazing is an understatement. The incredible progress he is making is a joy to watch. And then there is this overwhelming sense of being overwhelmed that hits you out of nowhere. Okay, so it comes from the screaming and life, but some moments feel very in control and other times all I want to do is cry. We went to church and on the way there he talked about it raining. One night we saw deer in a pasture near the church and now he asks about them. When we got to the spot he said, “it’s raining deer”. He went on yelling “rain deer rain deer”. Now I wanted to know if he understood the significance of “rain deer” and “reindeer”. I wondered if he thought they were the same thing and which one he was really saying. He fascinates me with his thinking process and his words. We went to the mall to ride the elevators. When we got on them he started reciting the words from different reviews he watched about elevators. Most of his words were indistinguishable but I could tell by his tones and the repeated gestures what he was talking about. He didn’t want to leave. We could ride elevators all day and I think he would love it. In the car riding home, his screams came crashing over me and I started to cry. He couldn’t explain everything he wanted to say to me so he screamed some more. He threw his tablet down, yelling, “why ya mad”. My heart exploded. I know it’s hard on him when he can’t express his feelings and it’s emotional for me. Today I focus on how far he’s come, learning to let go of my own emotional cement that keeps me rooted in the past, and knowing that tomorrow is a brand new day. Don’t let yesterday keep you from going after your dreams. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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