He came back to my room and got under his blanket on my bed. He had his tablet and he was watching videos fully covered under the blanket. He asked every few minutes about seeing his teacher and if he was riding the bus home even though he knew it. We got ready and we walked out to wait for the bus. I love his love for school. The bus came and whisked him away.
When he came home from school he was in a good mood but he said, “Stay home” as soon as we headed towards the house. When the bus pulled away he ran down the sidewalk and stopped at the light pole that I told him he couldn’t go past. He waited for the bus to turn and then he came back to me.
The night went quickly and there was plenty of snacks, dinner, and fun. I pray for sleep tonight but I’m thankful for the calmer days and the excitement that continues for school. He is beyond ready for tomorrow and I’m thankful he had a good day.
The hardest part is the hardest part. How do you explain something to others when you can’t even explain it to yourself? How do you talk about something you never want to think about? When do you even start talking about it or not talking about it? The word is simple the definition is hard.
My amazing son sees me and wants me to be the picture he can process. That picture is most likely about to change. He has come so far so I hope the days ahead will not be hard for him. This momma’s heart prays for each step we take and together we will get through the challenges that will lead to our victories. For this, I pray.
I’m trying to embrace this journey with humor because crying seems too real. It’s not that the tears haven’t come, but the laughter seems to be the only way I can handle it with the tears floating in my eyes. The jokes are easier to deal with than the reality of one more life change.
Writing the words might even be harder than saying the words but this is the journey I am on. I have breast cancer. I told Owen, knowing he wouldn’t understand, and he said, “Good night mommy I love you tablet tomorrow to therapy.” Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Let yesterday go and make tomorrow the most amazing day ever. Smiles to all and donut daze!
So far I know I will have surgery, chemo, and radiation but do not know the order and I keep praying for… so I would love your prayers too.