I’ve invested in toothpicks for my eyelids. I have said this before, I will say this again, and I will cry a River about it. Breaks from his routine are extremely hard for Owen, any type of break for any reason. And then when the break is done and the schedule resumes, that’s hard too. Can you imagine going to someplace you love and want to be and then you are quickly pulled from it and have no clue when you will ever go back. So I think this part is happening to most of us right now and as much as we don’t like it we can at least somewhat understand it. No matter how I try at this stage Owen’s comprehension level is not there to be able to understand why he can’t always do the things he wants to do. I dread every single break for him. I didn’t want spring break or summer break or Christmas break. I didn’t even want the weekends until we started making those routine as well. Now here we are after weeks of him not going to school and now that he’s back into a routine he needs to make sure is going to happen every day. I’m trying not to cry. Probably the pure exhaustion also does not help. He woke up at two and started immediately yelling at me for school. He doesn’t want to miss it or lose it again. How do you guarantee anything when you don’t know what’s going to happen. All I can do is pray. From two o’clock until he finally fell asleep for about thirty minutes around six he yelled at me. He wanted school. He wanted to be awake. And he absolutely wanted his teacher. Me, I want to cry. He’s thriving in school. Tonight he screamed at me for over an hour. I held him and then he finally decided he would go to sleep so he could go to school. The only part of this journey that gets easier to explain is the love. I told him tonight that “I would love him forever and ever” like I always do and he said, “amen”. You are important. You are amazing. And you matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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