There are some moments in time we have to let go of. And sometimes that can be the hardest thing in the world to do. I dream of days that it is calmer for Owen. Or maybe calmer for me. I’m always on edge, waiting for the next meltdown to happen. His shoes are of great concern for him. This means they are of greater concern to me. And then my baby starts singing “dis ol man he played one” and I think about how far we’ve come. My emotions are strong today, but when Owen started singing it made me realize how thankful I am. He has been interacting with me more and responding to my questions with more frequency. I’ve been trying to get him to spell words with me, especially when we are in the car. I always start with the word “ball”, hoping that the routine of it will help. As soon as I say, “how do you spell ball”, he quickly answers with, “no”. I keep going by starting to spell the word. He doesn’t quite understand so he says, “b is for ball”. I spell the word and move on to the next one. We usually get through four or five words before he starts screaming again about the stoplights. I truly think if I could stay home all the time I would be fine with that, but I know it’s not possible and I know that really isn’t good for us. Walking out our door takes all my strength some days. His anxiety is my anxiety. Those moments are when I have to look at our progress and know that today is one moment in time. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. And I know that through his eyes I’ve learned what love means like I never understood before. Today and always remember through rain the sun will still shine. Follow your heart and make your dreams come true. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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