I was going to make sure I was a little bit louder about thirty minutes before we needed to get ready so he wouldn’t have some time to settle and wake up but about that time he came around the corner. He first asked about school and then his tablet. One day off throws him completely out of routine.
He wanted to make sure he was seeing his teacher today. I wanted to confirm it for him but I also wanted him to understand he already knew it. I pray the older he gets the connection will finally form. It breaks my heart watching him go through this over and over and not finding peace.
He wanted to wear shorts again and I wore blue pants in favor of him struggling or it being hard for him when he came home. It’s always a guess but the screams are hard for me and on Fridays, I try to keep him calm because the tends to be one of the nights he doesn’t always sleep well.
We went out to wait for the bus and he stood in his spot. I told him that the bus would come around the other corner. He is used to the bus immediately turning the corner for him during the regular school year but for summer it goes around the long way to pick up other kids first. I showed him where to look and he started jumping up and down as soon as he saw it. Off they went and I know he was happy.
When he came home from school he looked to see if I was still wearing my blue pants and then he immediately got off the bus. He started running down the sidewalk to his spot to watch the bus leave. He came back to me. He told me we were going swimming next Friday and immediately walked into the house.
The night was mostly quiet. He asked about soccer and I said do you want to go? He answered with a “no just grandma’s.” I then told him it was canceled tomorrow because of the excessive heat and he said, “No soccer.” He also told me he wanted no dinner but once I made it he ate all of it and more.
Bedtime was not his idea of what he wanted so he told Alexa thirty more minutes. I told him we had this conversation yesterday so he said five minutes. I’m trying to get him to understand boundaries and rules but he keeps breaking them so I think he knows them better than he wants me to think.
I’m thankful for his singing and his laughter. I go in July for my consultation about my chemotherapy. I am ready for the hurry up and wait part to be done but I keep praying and moving forward. It is teaching me to live for the now, let yesterday go, and be brave in the moment. Each day is a gift. Follow your heart and make tomorrow bright. Smiles to all and donut daze!