I knew it was going to be a long night before it was even a long night. Owen was ready to go party with his grandma before he even went to sleep. It didn’t take long before he woke up the first time. After that, he came to ask me quite often when we were leaving to see her.
He also asked me to take him to every pool that he found on Google Earth and in pictures. It’s quite interesting how he can find things and it was quite interesting how important this was to him at two o’clock in the morning. I wish I could make all his dreams come true. He was telling me all about the pool and what he wanted to do. I keep hoping that he will figure out how to hold his breath completely underwater so he can go on the diving board. I need him to be safe though.
His scream pulsated through my body one more time when I didn’t answer him. When he is tired it gets harder. When I am tired it gets harder. My heart aches for calm and for him to be able to understand that screaming is not an option. That’s the only thing he can process sometimes. And that is the only thing I can’t process sometimes.
One of the hardest parts is never feeling like I am in my own brain when he is constantly talking to me. I’m thankful for his words and I know how hard he has worked to have those words but my brain is tired and he doesn’t understand that I can’t constantly keep up with him especially when he is talking to me in other languages and expects me to know what he is saying.
What sounded like a transformer blew near us and our power went off for a split second but it caused the internet to go out. It took the internet a few minutes to get connected back on. When it came on he went around talking in other languages to Siri and Alexa asking them to translate more things. Then he told me we had to make waffles in Arabic and milk too. I’m thankful it came on quickly and he was able to handle it.
We got ready and I took him to his grandma’s house. He stayed there several hours while I rested. Before I meet them to pick him up he got to drive around with his grandma to see all his favorite places. I’m thankful she is feeling slightly better and able to do more things now that she is on the medicine for Lyme disease. I pray that it continues to help her.
The night was a mix of hyper, calm, and pushing buttons but I feel like some of my words finally sank in with him because I could tell he wasn’t laughing at me as much and not as much screaming. I explained to him that if he continued to scream at me we would be staying home until he learned to be kind to me. I told him I understand he has a lot of emotions but screaming gets us nowhere and we will stay home to work on it. I pray he continues to make these connections with this. I always want him to know his emotions are valid but mine are too and we can’t hurt others over our emotions. It’s a lot for him to process but I have to explain it all to him.
Easiest night in a long time -so far for him to go straight to bed. He didn’t want extra time he wanted instead to “cut the paper with scissors.” We then said our prayers. He said, “Dear God thank you for Owen grandma our friends and church amen.” He started going back and forth about going to church. I said one more time if he slept tonight we would. He wanted me to say it again and I stopped him. Thankfully he listened to what I said and he walked right to his room. I pray for sleep. I pray for understanding and patience for both of us. And I pray for a great day tomorrow. Let the tomorrows ahead always be the new beginnings you dream of. Smiles to all and donut daze!
He also asked me to take him to every pool that he found on Google Earth and in pictures. It’s quite interesting how he can find things and it was quite interesting how important this was to him at two o’clock in the morning. I wish I could make all his dreams come true. He was telling me all about the pool and what he wanted to do. I keep hoping that he will figure out how to hold his breath completely underwater so he can go on the diving board. I need him to be safe though.
His scream pulsated through my body one more time when I didn’t answer him. When he is tired it gets harder. When I am tired it gets harder. My heart aches for calm and for him to be able to understand that screaming is not an option. That’s the only thing he can process sometimes. And that is the only thing I can’t process sometimes.
One of the hardest parts is never feeling like I am in my own brain when he is constantly talking to me. I’m thankful for his words and I know how hard he has worked to have those words but my brain is tired and he doesn’t understand that I can’t constantly keep up with him especially when he is talking to me in other languages and expects me to know what he is saying.
What sounded like a transformer blew near us and our power went off for a split second but it caused the internet to go out. It took the internet a few minutes to get connected back on. When it came on he went around talking in other languages to Siri and Alexa asking them to translate more things. Then he told me we had to make waffles in Arabic and milk too. I’m thankful it came on quickly and he was able to handle it.
We got ready and I took him to his grandma’s house. He stayed there several hours while I rested. Before I meet them to pick him up he got to drive around with his grandma to see all his favorite places. I’m thankful she is feeling slightly better and able to do more things now that she is on the medicine for Lyme disease. I pray that it continues to help her.
The night was a mix of hyper, calm, and pushing buttons but I feel like some of my words finally sank in with him because I could tell he wasn’t laughing at me as much and not as much screaming. I explained to him that if he continued to scream at me we would be staying home until he learned to be kind to me. I told him I understand he has a lot of emotions but screaming gets us nowhere and we will stay home to work on it. I pray he continues to make these connections with this. I always want him to know his emotions are valid but mine are too and we can’t hurt others over our emotions. It’s a lot for him to process but I have to explain it all to him.
Easiest night in a long time -so far for him to go straight to bed. He didn’t want extra time he wanted instead to “cut the paper with scissors.” We then said our prayers. He said, “Dear God thank you for Owen grandma our friends and church amen.” He started going back and forth about going to church. I said one more time if he slept tonight we would. He wanted me to say it again and I stopped him. Thankfully he listened to what I said and he walked right to his room. I pray for sleep. I pray for understanding and patience for both of us. And I pray for a great day tomorrow. Let the tomorrows ahead always be the new beginnings you dream of. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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