I’m trying not to cry today. I’m trying really hard to remember to breathe the right breaths so I don’t cry today. I can’t tell you how many cups of coffee I drank and how many cups went cold. But I can tell you how much I love my child. I’m trying to hold it together until he goes to sleep, I’m trying. He’s had an amazing day. Me, not so much. And I can’t even say that. Things are coming together for both of us but I feel like I’m falling apart. It takes me about a week to recover from those meetings that I’m supposed to understand. They cause me to go into panic mode, what haven’t I been working on with Owen, what should I do next, how should I phrase questions to help him learn, why didn’t I think of that, and the list goes on. And did I mention he’s doing amazing. My boy has the biggest smile, loves with all his heart, and always makes you feel like you are one of his people. I have to remember where we started, that’s what I keep telling myself. Last night he asked for strawberry yogurt and then chocolate yogurt right before he fell asleep. He never randomly asks for food except for veggie straws and chocolate milk but those are his go-to foods. I immediately ordered some yogurt to come today. He didn’t ask for it when it was snack time but I gave it to him and he was so happy. I reminded him that he asked me for it last night as he was going to bed. I wanted him to know that if he asks for something I will certainly try to get it for him. He ate the whole thing, along with his veggie straws, and milk. Well, except the part he squeezed out of the pouch so he could “make a de mess”. He loves that part. He answered questions for me tonight and did it without screaming at me. When I told him it was bath time he pretty much was dragging his feet asking for “two more minutes” but went with me to get ready. I had walked into the bathroom to start the water, thinking he was right behind me, and I hear his guitar. He had run to get it and was standing there strumming his guitar, singing his heart out with Old MacDonald. He was ready for his bath but when the music hits your heart you gotta play your guitar. I love how my music man now plays on his own. I no longer have to prompt him. And this was truly music to my ears. God gives you what you need and tonight I needed that song in my heart. Never give up on what seems impossible because I can tell you it is truly possible if you believe. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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