Kindness and grace are what I started thinking about immediately when I woke up. Yesterday was beautiful and yet one of the hardest days I’ve had in quite some time. Owen got to do things he wanted to do and was so happy about it but the moments he spent building up to them and then after the adventures of his day were very stressful for me and anxious for him. I reminded myself when I woke up this morning to remember that every day is a new day and to let yesterday go. We had to start fresh so let the good day begin.
Owen slept all night. I was in and out but he let me sleep until almost six. Last night was a rollercoaster before bed. The screaming is a lot some nights and last night was one of them but this morning he was very calm or maybe I was continuing to reflect the change I needed. He showed me the Disney parade and asked to see it out his window. He went through all the characters and told me about the light show. He said he wanted to see the castle.
He was very much ready for church. They were going to have a bounce house at the picnic after the service. I was hoping he would want to go. I think he is starting to handle events like these more and more but it is all still a process. I kept thinking it might be too overwhelming for him still but I thought he would like to go. Sometimes in the moment he will do fine but it is all the after effects that get us.
The screaming was still weighing heavily on my heart. As much as it is a way that he gets his emotions out and he can’t help he will also do it on purpose to get my attention but I try to explain to him it is not helpful or kind for either of us. This morning we started off differently and I worked on getting him to say sentences instead of one word. This is where a lot of his frustration comes from because he expects me to answer him every single time. Asking him to talk in sentences helps with his communication skills but it is a lot to keep my mind on track.
We got ready and headed off to church. When we got there I showed him the bounce houses. He was only focused on getting to his classroom. The service was wonderful and exactly what I needed. When our friend brought him to me I could tell it was no picnic for us. He couldn’t even listen to my words. She told me he had a good time but as soon as it was time to come to me he got mad about me not getting out to the porch early enough to see our friend pull up. This was how the afternoon went.
I wanted to go to the picnic. I knew there would be so many people there who would help me keep an eye on Owen. I thought he would enjoy it. I miss going to events. I remember how much fun I had when the church I went to when I was growing up would have events like these and all I wanted to do was go. Instead, we went home with me crying on the way there.
I talked to him about it as he told me once again how he was disappointed he didn’t get to see her drive up. This is when the real talk happened. I told him that as disappointed as he was in me that I was also disappointed in him that he would not listen yesterday and that is what caused us not to get out there. I asked him if he sat on the couch so that I could finish getting ready and stop moving my things. I wanted him to understand that it was as much his responsibility to help me as it was mine to get us ready. As the afternoon went on he was much kinder to me and stopped talking about me disappointing him. It felt like I had gotten through to him.
The night was filled with laughter and lots of conversation until bedtime. He told me that his aide was an “a dult” and did not act like a two-year-old. I told him I was glad to hear that. He wanted to make sure I got him Spider-Man shoes for his costume and I thought oh boy I have to figure that one out. I was thankful for the calm conversation though.
The screams started almost immediately as we were ready to start our prayers. I told him not to knock something over and from there it started. I immediately started breathing with him and he was able to calm down. I pray he sleeps tonight and we have a great day tomorrow. It is a very busy day for me and I have several appointments. Each day I remind Owen that we are in this together. I pray for his growth as much as mine. I was thankful for his smiles and his laughter. Let each day bring a better tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Owen slept all night. I was in and out but he let me sleep until almost six. Last night was a rollercoaster before bed. The screaming is a lot some nights and last night was one of them but this morning he was very calm or maybe I was continuing to reflect the change I needed. He showed me the Disney parade and asked to see it out his window. He went through all the characters and told me about the light show. He said he wanted to see the castle.
He was very much ready for church. They were going to have a bounce house at the picnic after the service. I was hoping he would want to go. I think he is starting to handle events like these more and more but it is all still a process. I kept thinking it might be too overwhelming for him still but I thought he would like to go. Sometimes in the moment he will do fine but it is all the after effects that get us.
The screaming was still weighing heavily on my heart. As much as it is a way that he gets his emotions out and he can’t help he will also do it on purpose to get my attention but I try to explain to him it is not helpful or kind for either of us. This morning we started off differently and I worked on getting him to say sentences instead of one word. This is where a lot of his frustration comes from because he expects me to answer him every single time. Asking him to talk in sentences helps with his communication skills but it is a lot to keep my mind on track.
We got ready and headed off to church. When we got there I showed him the bounce houses. He was only focused on getting to his classroom. The service was wonderful and exactly what I needed. When our friend brought him to me I could tell it was no picnic for us. He couldn’t even listen to my words. She told me he had a good time but as soon as it was time to come to me he got mad about me not getting out to the porch early enough to see our friend pull up. This was how the afternoon went.
I wanted to go to the picnic. I knew there would be so many people there who would help me keep an eye on Owen. I thought he would enjoy it. I miss going to events. I remember how much fun I had when the church I went to when I was growing up would have events like these and all I wanted to do was go. Instead, we went home with me crying on the way there.
I talked to him about it as he told me once again how he was disappointed he didn’t get to see her drive up. This is when the real talk happened. I told him that as disappointed as he was in me that I was also disappointed in him that he would not listen yesterday and that is what caused us not to get out there. I asked him if he sat on the couch so that I could finish getting ready and stop moving my things. I wanted him to understand that it was as much his responsibility to help me as it was mine to get us ready. As the afternoon went on he was much kinder to me and stopped talking about me disappointing him. It felt like I had gotten through to him.
The night was filled with laughter and lots of conversation until bedtime. He told me that his aide was an “a dult” and did not act like a two-year-old. I told him I was glad to hear that. He wanted to make sure I got him Spider-Man shoes for his costume and I thought oh boy I have to figure that one out. I was thankful for the calm conversation though.
The screams started almost immediately as we were ready to start our prayers. I told him not to knock something over and from there it started. I immediately started breathing with him and he was able to calm down. I pray he sleeps tonight and we have a great day tomorrow. It is a very busy day for me and I have several appointments. Each day I remind Owen that we are in this together. I pray for his growth as much as mine. I was thankful for his smiles and his laughter. Let each day bring a better tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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