How many moments in time can you celebrate in one day? Owen slept until after five on a Friday night. That’s victory number one. He was excited for his day. He knew he was going to see his grandma and he wanted to go to the park afterward because he was hoping for more mud. What he didn’t know was we were going to a fall festival if he wanted to. I didn’t want to tell him about it because I was hoping he would sleep and in case there was any reason we couldn’t go. Plus, I wanted to give him the opportunity to see it and then decide if he wanted to go. As soon as he saw the bounce house and fire truck he was excited. Then he saw the tractor and he was ready to get out of the car. Waiting in lines for his turn is not easy, I mean who likes to wait, but he really did well. He went a couple of times on the bouncy house slide and then he wanted to go look at the fire truck and go on the hayride. He easily got into the fire truck but getting out was another story. He had to put his foot down on a ledge he really couldn’t see and he wasn’t able to understand the instructions of me telling him to look down. After a couple more minutes he turned a different direction and was able to get out. He kept asking for the keys to the tractor but thankfully he didn’t get upset when we could only ride on the trailer it was pulling. He wanted to walk over to where they had a few of the farm animals and then he was ready to go see his grandma. We stayed for about forty-five minutes and that was the perfect amount of time for him. He spent several hours with my mom and they had a little campfire for marshmallows. They played in the yard and took a long walk. When they got home Owen told my mom that I was coming and bringing food. This was code for I am on a mission and we have to do these steps first. I got the food and my mom said as soon as I got there he started talking about going to the park. That was the mud mission part of our day. It is an amazing little miracle that he went from having huge meltdowns over even one drop of rain to wanting to search our puddles so he could sit in them. He wanted to stop at the “little park” and I knew this was all mud driven. He was disappointed there was no mud. There was rain overnight so there were a lot of puddles this morning at the festival but I wouldn’t let him sit in them because I knew he wanted to go on the bouncy slide and all the other activities for the day but I knew we would be seeking out mud later on. Since that park was mud-less we went to the next park where our friends were. As soon as he got through the gate he went directly to the slide and it had been shaded by the tree so there was his glorious mud. He was so excited. He pretty much soaked up all the mud in his clothes and wanted more. He ran to all the other equipment and had so much fun. He was even able to climb and go down the metal slide which has caused him to have many meltdowns over the years. He got on a different swing that you have to push and pull. This is the first time that I can ever remember him wanting to get on it and to be able to do the actions. There was a little girl on the one next to him explaining how to do it. This made my day. He went on a few more things, looked for a little more mud, and then he proclaimed it was bath time and he was ready to go. We got home and he wanted a quick bath he said. He ate the fish I had gotten him and he wanted more of everything. He is a growing boy. Bedtime was quick. I think he might be exhausted from his very busy day. I know I am. I’m so very thankful for all of the amazing steps he took today. A few months ago had someone said to me in October wait until you see how everything changes I would have said that would be a dream come true. Each step he takes forward and being able to request what he wants will lead to more of an independent life. Today was amazing. Even in the moments of excitement or uncertainty, he was able to work through it calmly and ask for help. Three parks, tons of activities, spending time with grandma, and seeing his friends were all great experiences for him. And that makes this momma happy. Today was that dream come true. Never give up on the miracle yet to come. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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The day started before I fell asleep I think. Owen was very excited about seeing his doctor. He went to bed last night and by eleven o’clock he had gotten up four times. He was ready to go to his appointment and I tried to explain to him that it wasn’t nearly time. This is the hard part about telling him things days before an event or appointment. I was trying to be very optimistic about this appointment. We see his doctor every few months and in general, Owen likes going to doctor appointments. This however is one that blue pants always seem to get in our way. He was ready though and we talked about giving the doctors and staff kindness and grace if they were not in blue pants. We got dressed and we headed out the door. I panicked a little when it was raining and he said, “Help I need help please” when he saw the door handle of the car was wet. I told him it was like the mud and it will be ok and he opened it. This was huge. Only a few short months ago this would not have happened. He would have been crying, screaming, or wanting to go back inside. I pray that mud keeps encouraging Owen to like the rain. This by far was the best appointment we have ever had with the doctors at this office. He mentioned blue pants with both doctors he saw but he didn’t scream about it and he let it go. He even interacted with both of them on different questions. It was beyond my expectations of how this appointment would go. We left the appointment and I felt like we made great progress. I’m going to work with his behavioral specialist to get some examples of certain behavioral walkthroughs that I can practice with Owen so that we can continue down the path of success for blue pants and the rain. I want to provide strategies for him so it gives him ways to deal with the stressors he has with each. I’m thankful this appointment went so well. He told me the other day he wanted to see his pediatrician. I asked him if he didn’t feel well. He said no so I asked why he wanted to see her. He said because he rides the elevator and gets to say hi. I like that he thought about her and was able to make the connection of being able to talk to her. He was elated to get to school and the whole way there he reminded me we needed to check in and he would ride the bus home. I told him that’s exactly what you’re going to do. When he came home I knew we were going to stay home and it was a calm evening except for the fact that I think he was turning the bathroom into a pool. When I told him to give me his tablet before bed he said, “Tell” and wanted me to finish. At first, I wasn’t sure what he was saying and then it dawned on me. He wanted me to say, “Tell the tablet night night.” He never forgets a thing. This is something I said to him when he was very little and would say it off and on over the last few years. He told it night night and was off to bed. I am praying he sleeps better than last night and he is ready for his day with grandma. Dream the big dreams and let your heart believe they will come true. Watch the miracles happen. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Owen was focused this morning on all the day’s events and finding mud even if it was not truly mud. I went to check on him before I went to sleep last night and he had gotten his body sock to sleep in. I’m so thankful he is now able to realize what his body needs to sleep. He woke up in a great mood and was ready to go wait for the bus. He wanted to “lay down in de dry mud” and promptly laid down on the sidewalk. He almost said it like a question if I was going to stop him. I probably would have tried to stop him if it was wet mud but I look at it as exploration and being a little boy dreaming of mud. I waited years for these happy moments with him wanting to do activities like this so most of the time I’m all for it. I’m hoping he will learn when he can’t get in the mud but for now, these are the days. He was off to school and excited that I was going to pick him up for therapy. When I picked him up his teacher said he had a great day. We had a little time before therapy so we stopped at the park. He is doing amazing at climbing now. Only a few short months ago he still had a hard time with the ladders and now he is climbing them. He will ask for help occasionally but he is doing it all on his own and wants to do it. We got to therapy and he had a few minutes so he climbed to the top of the steps so he could “lay down.” He is fully invested in the whole “lay down” thing and wants to do it everywhere. “Dry mud,” real mud, or no mud he is ready for the “lay down.” He did well at his therapy and his physical therapist talked to me about some strategies she will be working on with him. I’m thankful for all the support he is getting and the attention to detail. We came home for a little bit before we went to “trunk or trick” at his music therapy place. He had so much fun. He was excited because there was another Spider-Man there. He doesn’t really eat candy but he did several of the activities to get the treats. He was thrilled when he saw one of his school friends arrive and then one of his church friends. He walked back and forth excitedly and talked to his music therapist. Another child showed up in a banana costume. I wondered how he would handle it because bananas are something that has caused so many meltdowns for him over the years. He talked to me about it but went right back to walking back and forth soaking it all in. When it started sprinkling I prayed that he would still be able to handle it all. Not one scream, not one tear, not one meltdown over the rain, not one. My amazing little boy stood there in the rain, in his costume, watching a child in a banana costume, and he was handling it all with a big old smile on his face. My greatest joy was watching him have fun and not even caring about the rain. Just a few short months ago this would have only been a dream and here he was at a Halloween “trunk or trick” and loving it. He wasn’t happy when it started getting dark but still remained calm. He was at his limit but boy, oh boy was it an amazing day. It’s wonderful to have so many amazing people in his life. It’s truly amazing how he handled it all. And the rain! I just can’t get over how he handled it. Today will be etched in my mind as a great day. He’s excited to go see his doctor tomorrow for his well check and then I will take him to school. My boy was happy and that is my joy. You can overcome any mountain that is set in front of you and when you succeed you can look back over the road you have traveled and be proud of all you accomplished. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Keeping me on my toes is something I always thought Owen was doing until I realized he is now really keeping me on my toes. I never had to worry about him going through drawers or opening cabinets when he was younger so it is a new experience for me. A lot more locks on doors and drawers are happening. It was another happy morning for my sweet baby O. He kept talking about getting pancakes after school but I wasn’t convinced he would want to go even though he kept asking for them. He likes to go then and eat then with “chicken” which really is country fried steak and gravy. We got dressed and went out to wait for the bus. He grabbed my arms and wrapped them around his neck and gave me a big hug. His bus was coming and he was excited. I love seeing the expressions wash over his face when the bus turns the corner and he rushes to his spot. He was ready for his day and off they went. He got home and he had a plan but it was to stay home and prepare for his favorite day. I asked him if he wanted to go get pancakes or I even suggested going on a Halloween adventure but he was waiting for the trunk or treat tomorrow if he decides to go. It may be too much for him and I will let him decide since it would be after his therapy. He told me he was ready for a “quick bath” so he could keep playing on his tablet. He was splashing the water everywhere and I said this has not turned into the quick bath you requested. He said, “I’m a kid in the bathtub.” I’m always amazed and thankful when he puts these connections together. I’m praying he sleeps all night because he has a loose tooth and he got up four times in less than thirty minutes to try to get me to pull his “lobster tooth.” Thankfully I finally convinced him that his tooth had to stay in his mouth for three more days and he was able to go to sleep. I’m not sure why I chose three more days but hopefully, that’s enough time for him to work through it and let it come out when it is ready. It is barely loose. He is ready for his Thursday and I hope it lives up to all his dreams. I’m thankful for all the amazing connections he now is making and that great big beautiful smile he has. Celebrate the victories of your life and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
It’s the little things that lead to the biggest victories. Today felt exhausting before I even got out of bed but I’m very thankful Owen slept. He got into bed with me after I got my coffee and I thought about how it used to be every single night he would get into bed with me or wake up five or six times each night. He still wakes up occasionally but it is so much better than it was. I told him we needed to get dressed and he said, “Five more minutes.” It’s so funny how he says this almost every day but he is always so excited for the bus to come. We’ve been having some cooler days so he has been wearing jeans. Technically he’s only outside for a few minutes so if he wanted to wear shorts it would be fine. I’m hoping as it gets colder he will get used to wearing more styles of pants. When we were waiting for the bus he pointed and was telling me about the “traffic block.” He has been pointing for a few years now but it still brings joy to my heart and tears to my eyes when I see him point. This took years and years and years for him to master and it is beyond amazing for him to be able to do. Pointing is one of those things that I put in the “leads to independence” category. His conversational skills are growing but sometimes pointing is another form of communication and being able to show someone where he is looking or what he is wanting will help in so many ways. The joy truly is in the little things. When he heard the bus he told me he rides the bus and listed the number he rides. He rides a different one in the morning and afternoon. It’s exciting to me that he knows these things and it also tells me how much time the bus and school staff work with my son. The greatest gift is being able to see how much time others invest in your child. He was off to school and I knew he would have a great day. When he got home from school I had a feeling we wouldn’t be going anywhere but that was ok with me. He stays busy many days so I understand if he wants to stay home more. When we walked in the door he said, “Mommy speak Espanol.” I said, “You want me to speak in Spanish” and he said yes in Spanish. He asked Siri and Alexa to translate many things as the night went on. The night was full of laughter and song. He was very calm and waited when I said he had to take his bath later. He fell asleep and was excited about his days ahead. I told him he was going for a wellness check on Friday and we discussed when we would be going. I never know how far in advance I should share with him because it is always a process for him. I’m thankful for the gift of today and the smile on my sweet baby O’s face. Today is the first day of the rest of your life so make it grand. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I’m thankful Owen slept through the night. That is one of those blessings that I have prayed about for years. It was the years of not sleeping that I feel like I’m still catching up on if you could ever catch up with time. He was in a good mood as soon as he got up. I think Mondays are quickly becoming another one of his favorite days. He knew I was going to pick him up from school for his music therapy and he was also excited about going to his vision therapy. He asked to wear jeans today. It was back and forth from him asking about blue pants and jeans but he settled on the word “jeans.” I could tell he was a little elevated about this but I kept wondering if it was about his excitement for the day. He was ready to get out to that bus and start his day. He reminded me again that I was going to pick him up and about then the bus turned the corner. The excitement washed over him and he got to his spot to wait for the bus to stop. When I picked him up his teacher told me how he had asked for more bread. She explained that he was able to tell the cafeteria staff what he wanted. This made my day. I talk to him all the time about telling people his wants and needs and I know his teacher and support team work with him all the time as well. I’m thankful for this. It is one more step towards an independent future. We went to his music therapy appointment and his therapist was in blue from head to toe. This made Owen very happy but I could tell also a little hyper. He had been discussing what she was going to wear the whole way there so he was very excited that she really was in blue. Blue pants seem to be a focus that is increasing again. He was really happy about his session and on Thursday we are supposed to go back for their trunk or treat. Hopefully, he will want to go after his other therapy. We came home for a little bit before his vision therapy. He had a snack and was ready to go. He was still a little hyper when we went but he did great at the session. I am seeing great progress in so many aspects of his life. He was able to once again do some exercises that he couldn’t do before. Each step forward is one more step to his victories. On the way home I gave him choices of what he wanted for dinner. He told me where he wanted to go and what he wanted. The rest of the night was quiet and for the most part, he listened pretty well. Bedtime went smoothly. It didn’t take him long and he was out. I’m thankful for his progress and that he has so many people who support him and help him grow. Reflect in the moment of growth and watch the sunshine in the victory of the day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I’m celebrating the 7 am wake-up call. I didn’t sleep quite that late but I was still shocked when Owen came around the corner asking for his tablet. He hadn’t gotten his tablet but that was the first thing on his mind. He then went into his quest for church. I told him to go to the bathroom but he still hadn’t gone by the time I walked to the living room. He saw me and he finally ran to the bathroom without his tablet but said “Take your tablet to the bathroom.” I didn’t respond. The rollercoastery moment wasn’t going to get me. I fixed him first breakfast and knew more requests would come in. They did. He wanted pancakes. I didn’t have pancake mix to make any. I offered waffles and many other things, breakfast things. He said, “I want shrimp please.” I made him shrimp. I figured since he requested waffles for dinner last night and ate them all that shrimp for breakfast seemed reasonable. He was very excited about going to church and he was requesting and hoping that he would be able to jump in the mud. We got ready and I let him take his tablet today wanting more for calm for him. He asked Siri to translate, “This old man he played one grandma in church.” He likes to include as much as he can in one request. He translated it into Arabic and then he asked for a few more phrases. He sat with his rain boots on but he hadn’t put his clothes on yet. This boy was ready for the rain. We quickly got dressed and out the door we went. I convinced him to wear jogger pants even though he said, “No joggy today.” I thought same kiddo, same. Mud talk happened all the way to church. The greatest joy is hearing my son request to play in the mud when for years one raindrop would cause hours of meltdowns. We got to church and he couldn’t wait to go play in the rain once church was over. We got our lunch and came home. After we ate he wanted a bath. He didn’t want to put a shirt on after his bath so I put it on the kitchen chair. Several hours later I walked past him to get his milk and I turned around and he had it on. The right direction and everything. I burst into tears and I told him how proud I was of him. He said, “Mommy sad she happy mommy she proud of me” and then more tears came. One more gift from our day. He is ready for tomorrow. It’s a big day for him with riding the bus, school, and his therapies. I’m so proud of a great day for him. Believe in yourself and the rest will follow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Some days I wish I could just stay in bed with the covers over my head. Today was one of those days. It was the four o’clock party hour for us. I was thankful Owen slept that late though on a Saturday. He knew what he wanted and he reminded me of it several times. Using sentences was on and off. I’m trying to get him to understand he has to express his wants and needs. “Grandma I want to go to grandma’s house,” he said, and then he would yell grandma for twenty minutes. He got very excited about going. He didn’t want to hear that it was still a few hours away. He randomly played his harmonica throughout the morning and that always makes me happy. He wanted to wear shorts and his winter sandals. He was planning a day full of mud. I told him that if he wanted to play in the mud he needed to wear his rain boots. I gave up on that idea after all the screaming because we had to get going. He was glad to get to his grandma’s. When I picked him up he was on a mission. He wanted to find mud but it was the screaming that got me. He wanted to go to the “little park” and all I wanted to do was get home and decompress from the afternoon I had once I had dropped him off. My heart said take him to the park since he is asking and my brain said take him home because I could tell he was very anxious. I wanted him to have fun but the sensory overload of everything was building quickly. Car rides have become a thing of meltdowns again. And beyond the fact that I was exhausted, it was already a rough day. People’s words can cut you to the quick before you even realize it. I wanted to also figure out which strategy would help him get home and out of the car without a meltdown. It turns out that getting out of the car at home was about the only thing that was easy besides seeing his happy smile sitting in the mud at the bottom of the slide. When we pull up there were kids at the park playing basketball and their bikes were lying on their sides. I wasn’t going to let him out but he took his seatbelt off so I had to get out to help him put it back on and as soon as I opened his door he pushed passed me and was out of the car. He ran towards the park. I told him to stop. I told him he could not go to their bikes and he could not take their ball. Both are such a process for him. Thankfully he moved on from the bikes and went to the slide so he could play in the mud. He had a blast. I try to get him to understand that if he doesn’t listen and yells at me then he can’t have his tablet so I took his tablet in the car before we left the park. I explained to him that it was for his screaming at me. The ride home was a lot but thankfully he got out of the car immediately when we got home. He knew he wanted to take a bath and he wanted his tablet so he listened about going inside. From there though it was more screaming. He kept telling me he wanted a quick bath so he could have his tablet again but then he wouldn’t get out of the bathtub. He is learning to process emotions and reactions. He wants to scream to upset me and then apologize. It’s all a learning experience but it’s also very demanding and exhausting. Plus, add in the fact that he, like everyone, wants to do what he wants when he wants. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. I pray all the time for strength and guidance. He went to bed telling me that he was going to sleep on the couch. He wants to go to church tomorrow but convincing him to go to bed was something that I had to finally say your choice, church or standing here yelling at me about wanting to go to church tomorrow. The delay in his processing gets us in these circles. He knows he wants to go but it’s the getting to the point and timing of everything that is hard for him. The more I can help him understand time and a clock I think it will sink in for him. I pray sleep comes quickly for both of us tonight. The smile on his face when he sat in the mud and it getting all over his legs is what I’m trying to hold onto. This is the gift I have been waiting for and all of the other challenges that felt hard today will be tomorrow’s victories. Remember the good stuff is coming. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I woke up early enough for both of us. I do not know how I was quiet enough to let Owen sleep but thankfully he did. I started making the wake-up noise and it wasn’t long before he came to get in bed with me. Once again almost completely under the blanket. His little toes get me every time. I asked him if he wanted to wear shorts or jeans and he immediately said shorts. We went out to wait for the bus and he was asking me when it was coming. I said it would be a couple of minutes but I was sure we would hear it when it came down the street. He started to say something and I could tell he was processing it. He said, “I heard it” like it had a long U sound. It was amazing for him to be saying the word and making the distinction of how to say it. He wanted to lay on the ground with the “dry mud” so I think he is ready for more rain so it won’t be dry anymore. I told him that he could do it after school if he still wanted to. He looks like such a big boy when he gets on the bus now and he always tells me the names of people he will see. He got home and there was no question he was happy for his weekend that went all the way through to Monday. He got all settled in for the night as he started yelling out “grandma” randomly. I ignored him yelling out the single word so he came to me and said, “Grandma.” I still didn’t respond, which was very hard for me, and then he said, “I want to go see grandma.” I asked him when and he answered tomorrow. I think he sees the progression of how the conversation is taking shape mow. The goal is for him to be more expressive so he will ask for the things he likes and needs. He does numerous stimming sounds and actions to help regulate his body. However, some of these are hard on him. He bites his fingers in those very excitatory moments and I am trying to help him redirect to something less painful to his body. He doesn’t break the skin but his fingers tend to stay red. I make gentle reminders to be kind to his fingers and try to keep him focused that way. Thankfully it is working and he is back to doing more of the E sound again and jumping. He had a much calmer night. He was lying in my arms laughing with me. I called him “my baby” and I rocked him. He laughed and said, “I’m a baby.” This was wonderful. He was processing it and I think he was understanding it. I was very happy for those moments. After last night we spent a lot of time working on his behaviors and it went much better tonight. He still wanted to take his tablet in the bathtub tonight but he didn’t fight when I said no. I’m praying that he will sleep tonight even though it’s a Friday night and he is excited about seeing his grandma. His laughter is the best and it does my heart good. Laugh and let the world hear your joy. A smile is always a gift to share. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Owen woke ready to face his day. He was excited and he was hungry or so he wanted me to believe. Some mornings it’s about routine and some about actual hunger. Today was a mix of both. He asked for a waffle three times but then he said no he only wanted milk. This changed as soon as I went to sit down after getting my coffee. The waffle request came in but he ran away from the kitchen. I generally don’t fall for this. I gave him some more milk and cereal but he said it again. “Waffle please,” as he was sitting on the couch. I made it and he then decided he didn’t want it. He told me because it was only one waffle and he wanted two. This is a factor. The plate and the food are all part of the routine but it’s always up in the air if he is actually going to eat it. He wanted to wear shorts this morning but he waited until he was putting on his jeans so I told him he could wear them tomorrow. We’ll see what happens. It’s cold in the mornings but by afternoon it’s much warmer so it shouldn’t be a problem either way. I think I am also going to try to get him to wear jogger pants under his shorts if he wants to wear them on really cold days. He is starting to understand more about the weather though so I think that will help with what we wear. We went out to wait for the bus and he was telling me all about how the bus was going to get to him. He first kept saying the bus was going to go straight and I said is that how the bus goes? He said no so he told me “left right right” and he was correct. His teacher said he had a pretty good day. They are working on core strength and doing so many other amazing things with him. I took him to therapy and both his therapists said he did well today. I don’t go in with him every time because I don’t want to make him think I have to go in each time. We got a pizza after therapy and he couldn’t wait to eat it. He sat eating his pizza and he said, “It’s delicious.” “Chocolate milk please,” he said and he had a full cup. He does this a lot. I’m not quite sure why but he will do it with food as well. He is making sure he has routined days ahead. He asked me about Monday and if I was picking him up from school for music therapy. His music therapist is also at the same location where he goes to some of his other therapy but we are seeing her at a different location. It gives him another opportunity to interact with different people. The behaviors tonight were very strong and boisterous but I was able to calm him down and we played music together. I want to make sure we establish rules about screaming and hitting before he gets into his teenage years. He doesn’t like any rules but he has to learn to deal with them. He continuously wants his tablet in the bathroom but he always gets water on it. I try to explain to him tablets and water don’t mix but we are not there yet. Each day I reflect on the progress and that is what continues to push me forward. Be brave in your moments of challenges and know that you are stronger than you think. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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AuthorI'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart. Archives
May 2024
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