The gift of acceptance is something we should all feel. I get emotional when I think about that for Owen. He doesn’t understand personal space and he doesn’t really understand the realm outside his world. Every single thing is a lesson for him to learn. And not a quick one at that. He has to live it and experience it over and over again to make it part of his understanding. Changing his routine or the structure of our world is hard for him too. I think about how he kept himself from having a meltdown yesterday while we were bowling. I try to find ways to distract him. I will rapid-fire questions at him or I will tell him to count to ten if he feels himself getting frustrated. He didn’t get all the pins down. He started jumping up and down and then he stopped. He looked up at me and he started counting. “One two free four fif sick sefvin ayate nine ten”, he screams and ran to get his ball. In that moment of sadness, the victory washed over me. He did it. He found his calm. Me, I was trying to breathe. I never imagined the noise that would echo through my head even when there is silence around. You pray for calm. You try to find calm in the chaos when there is none to be found. Owen’s yelled at me no less than ten times this morning. And then we saw the moon on the way to church. He sang about the moon and he said, “I wuv ewe”. Life is calm at that moment for that second. And I knew walking through those doors at church would be acceptance for all. Today I dream of the moment life is easier for my sweet baby O, when the world doesn’t feel like it is crashing all around us, but oh so thankful for the gift of my son and the people that love and accept us for who we are. Keep pushing forward. Know that you are important and you matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.