I’m not quite sure when today became more difficult for me than it was for Owen, but maybe it was after the first five minutes when he woke. He was struggling with everything and then I think it switched. He had very few meltdowns as the day wore on. But he had a very important agenda as well. He woke asking for our walk and until we went that was what he asked about and then as soon as the walk was done he was ready to go again. My heart breaks thinking walks are now the highlight of his day. We’ve worked so hard to get to the point where he actually wanted to go places and now the isolation, the pure isolation, and lack of a way to explain it to him. I told him in order to go on our walk he had to stay dry and focus on going to the potty. He did. The next agenda for him was wanting to go to the park. My heart breaks for the second time at this point. I can’t take him to the park. Owen does not understand he can’t lick everything he sees. He doesn’t always walk up to something and lick it, but I never know when his sensory needs will kick in. When he gets frustrated or excited he will grab what’s in front of him and put it in his mouth. Generally, it’s his shirt, but not always the case. I can’t take any chances with him and the virus. So we walked every direction he pointed except to the park. If he didn’t want to go a direction I was starting to head he would put his feet down. This would stop me immediately. He would find a way to wrap his legs around the stroller and we weren’t budging. The closer we got back to our house the more agitated he got and the more I tried to explain we were not going to the park today. When we got home I distracted him with the seatbelt, but he still was upset, wanting to go to the park. One day at a time I remind myself. As he was drifting off to sleep, three hours after he went to bed, he mentioned walk several times. Tomorrow, I told him, tomorrow. The world is ever-changing and we must remember to keep pushing forward. I try not to let the stress and worry set in stone for me, but my worry-brow says differently. We can’t always control our moments in time, but we can do our part in this world to make a difference. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.